Remember that if someone who profits from your labor tells you something, you should distrust it. Although you don’t know it, your brain is already pre-programmed with the exception that allows them to manipulate you: freedom.
Freedom is a political concept. You cannot find it in nature. Instead, it is a term we use to describe our state of mind, and then we attempt to impose that term upon the world. But “freedom” is like many things used to control you. You are, in fact, its bitch.
Being something or someone’s bitch is defined by two attributes:
- Dependency on its presence: You are addicted to it, and so you seek it. It becomes a positive goal for you, meaning that you will automatically pursue it without stimulus.
- Unable to tolerate its absence: You see it as a solution and in its absence become depressed. It replaces others possible solutions in your mind. When it is gone, you function less.
It’s like an addiction. Your job sucks, the city is violent and ugly, people are stupid, and there’s no purpose to your society. But you cling to it like a tit because you’re afraid of losing your “freedom.” In fact, for most people, “freedom” is the only reason they can give for putting up with it.
That’s what it’s like to be someone’s bitch. They hurt you, and you love it, and you come back mewling and crying and begging for more.
The Men’s Rights Movement (MRM) tells you that you can avoid being feminism’s bitch by engaging in typical Men’s Rights Activist (MRA) activities, namely sleeping with neurotic girls, spending money on yourself, and avoiding adulthood (which you will refer to disparagingly as “manning up”).
Then again, you’d have to be wholly brain dead to think that those who profit from you have not thought of this.
If you want to make money from your workers, you can outright enslave them — but then you’re responsible for their welfare. It’s better to make them “free” and force them to take care of themselves, but to tighten the reins around them by also making them crazed for entertainment, pleasure and escape.
Our society excels at manipulating with these carrots. It does it through a method known in every American precinct. Bad Cop tells you about something horrible he’s going to do to you; Good Cop offers an alternative. You choose that. Good — that’s what they wanted you to do, all along. The threat was always empty.
You could be living in 1950′s America. You would get married young, have a devoted partner and lover your whole life, and have twice the salary (in real value) since only half as many people would be working. You could have a functional family instead of living alone in your apartment.
There was a real reason to grow up then: life got better. You had stuff to look forward to. Now, you’re stranded in perpetual adolescence because you don’t want to give in and become like the rest of them. Yet by doing exactly what you want, and abandoning any hope of anything greater, you are like the rest of them.
The 1950′s innocence was actually an impediment to government and big business having power. Happy stable people don’t need a whole lot of products. They don’t need a political system that creates constant drama. The best worker is destabilized, neurotic, single, bored and spiritually empty. They need their jobs to distract from their pointless lives.
Society has a long history of such subterfuges. The British navy was known for “rum, sodomy and the lash” for its habit of bribing miserable sailors with alcohol. Most cool jobs where you can smoke dope or drink at lunch actually pay a lot less than jobs that do not. School rewards you with proms and awards for four years of slavery.
If you think about it for a moment, your concepts of freedom come from movies, books and television. Those in turn are owned by people with a vested interest in keeping you obedient. Many are direct borrowings of propaganda issued by the government. These people make money from keeping you inert. Do you trust them?
Nearly two-thirds of children in the United States are born to mothers under 30…One group still largely resists the trend: college graduates, who overwhelmingly marry before having children. That is turning family structure into a new class divide, with the economic and social rewards of marriage increasingly reserved for people with the most education.
“Marriage has become a luxury good,” said Frank Furstenberg, a sociologist at the University of Pennsylvania. – “For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage,” by JASON DePARLE and SABRINA TAVERNISE, The New York Times, February 17, 2012
What’s the real value here? Stable marriages, or lots of cheesy poon, retro video gaming, cheap pot, cheap beer, dubstep and massive credit card debt?
If you don’t own control of your own life, you’re someone’s bitch. Even if you escape what you fear, you’re still in servitude to your lack of ability to think of something better. Whether that’s working a wage-slave job instead of owning a business, nailing airheads instead of having a family, or simply not being master of your own time, you’re a slave who thinks he’s free.
MRAs like to think they’re fighting back against feminism. In fact what they’ve done is invent feminism for men, which produces the exact same broken results that feminism for women did. Instead of relationships, we manipulate each other and hate each other. You never get love or family.
But go ahead, accept second best. You gained a symbolic victory, even if you’re someone’s bitch. If you think you win over feminism that way, then reality just must be as the symbols say it is. After all, employers and big governments never lie. You have your “freedom” after all.
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
freedom is a concept which was fully active in the early stages of human history when the human beings were naked. Present freedom is limited, even the term of freedom can be defined within a specific social background which was created by people.
http://spiritofnature99.blogspot.com/
I would love to have a wife, children and a family. I would also love it if other men were able to have a wife, children and a family. No fault divorce came into effect since circa 1965 and the wife and mother getting the children, home, child support and alimony in over 90% since circa 1865 in the USA. There was no such thing as no fault divorce before 1965 and the husband and father typically got the children and house with no alimony and child support up until the middle of the 19th century in the USA. The American divorce rate hovers at nearly 50% and women file for divorce first in nearly 70% of the cases today. Although I see your point that it would be better to be married and have children, I can not recommend any man gets married and has children unless he likes being subject to financially being made poorer and emotionally stressed out as well as subject to being harrassed by the law on the mere whim of the woman in his life. I can say the much of the same fate can befall a man as the previous sentence if you cohabitate or impregnate a woman. You’re only trading an easier form of slavery which is being single, not living with a woman, not having children even if it is overly extended adolescence for a harsher form of slavery by getting married, by cohabitating and(or) by impregnating women in today’s dystopinan American world.
I should add that except for the most extreme poor behavior of the woman which needs to be certifiably proven that you the man are most likely to be punished by far more harshly than the woman no matter the degree of fault of either man or woman in the relationship even if your precentage of fault is virtual zero.
I realized when I read The Garbage Generation that the cad lifestyle wasn’t some enlightened consciously chosen response to feminism. It is the role that men assume in all matriarchal cultures.
Real men can like dubstep, its OK.
Brett Stevens, I think you’ve completely failed to grasp the point of the MRM and the internal machinations of the true MRA (if an anti-misandrist must be called that). Both are temporal, sent by whatever higher power you believe in to correct the social dysfunction brought about by rampant feminism.
The MRM has no longevity, nor should it, nor ought MRA’s desire it. It exists purely to halt the spread of rampant feminism. Not ALL feminism, mind, but feminism that leads to cultural misandry. Once the advance of this blight stops, the MRM will fade away.
Articles like this speak only to the limited awareness most men have of the feminist blight and to the hellish depths men must go to uproot it. Someone has to sacrifice their present for the social correction to come about. Someone has to (ahem) march into hell for this heavenly cause. MRA, or Game, or MGTOW may not be the methods that ultimately succeed in this quest but they are all absolutely necessary to find it. Many heels are needed to crush Medusa’s many serpentine heads. You do yourself and IMF readers a disservice, Mr Stevens, by failing to see the forest for the trees.
gee never heard this one before, the mrm is just like feminism wah wah wah
another pompous internet Know Nothing who, lacking what it takes to resist, can only demean those who do
the blog that shouted nothing at the heart of the world!
I’d rather live in a tribe of “savages” and be ruled over by male elders who will acknowledge and show appreciation for my contributions to the tribe. Modern democracy is nothing more than slow death by the lynch mob. True freedom only existed in the days of hunter gatherer societies, as soon as we domesticated, we became true savages.
@ Alphabeta:
Too bad, since it’s having the exact opposite effect. It validates feminism by being (structurally, philosophically) the same exact ideology with the genders reversed.
@ Ronald:
It seems that way. Then again, democracy is based on popularity of ideas, not veracity, so it seems somewhat inevitable.
@ Heathcliff:
Interesting. I think this is true — if you can’t get the best, settle for lots of second-best; that’s sort of the motto of the cad/pua lifestyle.
@ doclove:
Consider a good attorney and a strong pre-nuptial agreement that guarantees (a) no alimony and (b) visitation rights.
Great article, Brett.
So, what are you proposing, dude? I’m kind of at a loss as to what this post was about, except being a bit of a spew about something or other.
What are you suggesting, given the reality that if you fail to obey your court orders, the pigs will show up, gaze an pepper-spray you, and throw your ass in jail?
He’s suggesting we reject the male-styled version of feminism and quest for a suitable mate.
He’s suggesting we reject the male-styled version of feminism and quest for a suitable mate.
Oh. So what he’s saying is he wants us to man up? Huh…
If your life revolves around the search for the idealized good woman, whose bitch are you?
If you find her, get married, have a couple of kids, and then find out she’s not so good after all, whose bitch are you (for the next twenty years)?
“Oh. So what he’s saying is he wants us to man up? Huh…”
He wants to us stive valiantly to create a 1950s family with a 2012 woman in an environment that is totally hostile to a 1950s family.
Head, meet wall.
So yeah, he want us to man up.
“If you don’t own control of your own life, you’re someone’s bitch.”
So if your wife controls your life, your her bitch? Right, thought so.
Ironically, through the use of psychadelic drugs, I came to the conclusion that society is just one big scam….
I don’t think a return to the 1950′s is possible. Don’t really want to get married or have kids. Don’t see the point of owning a house in such an unstable housing market. Seems like you are telling others what you want and what you think will make them happy….
Yeah, the best approach is a mercenary approach. I think the US is going to be a third world country in 10-15 years. Really, it won’t be so bad. Life will be faster, there’ll be more crime and less of a safety net. Still, guys like Advocatus Diablo will be having a great time as long as they have cash. Anyone who has a more mercenary approach will do okay, not really good but okay. there’ll still be jobs but a much bigger gap between rich and poor and a small “professional” middle class. there will also be much more tension as the wealthy realize the poor have less incentive to “Play nice.”
No point in “traditional” values in a non traditional world.
As ThousandMileMargin correctly noted getting married to a 2012 Ameriskank makes you her bitch. 1916-1969 style monogamy is not desireable not and not even possible in this political atmosphere.
“Consider a good attorney and a strong pre-nuptial agreement that guarantees (a) no alimony and (b) visitation rights.” I spoke to an attorney concerning this sort of thing. He told me that my red state would not allow a no alimony deal and these things can easily be thrown out by a misandrist divorce court.
I don’t want to return to the mangina era of “family values”. I wonder how many men really don’t find monogamous relationships emotionally rewarding at all? Most American women in 2012 are worthless hypergamous trash that are totally unworthy and unacceptable as wives. No man should be conned into becoming a genuine slave to these she-frauds because fake traditionalists think we should “man up” and white nationalists worry about the white birthrate.
Also, if a single man hates working yet gets poon outside of the office then he is at least somewhat free. I suppose bums on the streets are also free in their own way until they need food or money for a new fix. Perhaps man is considerably less free when he works a job he hates, has his money go to pay retirement to a fraud whore (alimony to an ex-wife), and can’t see his kids. By the way, not all men like kids or desire to be a father. Some men honestly hate their kids and would pay someone else to take them away if they could.
“So if your wife controls your life, your her bitch? Right, thought so.”
Um, the point is that you do not let her control your life. Why are you setting yourself up for serfdom automatically? Not all women are dagger-toothed beasts.
@ Stephen:
Only biologically defective ones.
@ Stoner With a Boner:
A variation on the old “give up now” slogan.
I don’t buy it.
The pendulum is swinging back and not everyone choose to put a pink bow in their hair and give up just because there’s a little adversity.
@ ThousandMile:
No one suggested this (typical internet user false dilemma on your part).
Instead, look for a whole life and the parts of it all fitting together.
Then you are no one’s bitch.
@ Ouroboros:
Exactly! Someone with reading comprehension skills, on the internet? ;)
“Only biologically defective ones.”
Well that’s not true. Men naturally want to have sex with plenty of women. Ideally I would settle down with a few of the best ones while still fucking others on the side. Monogamy is tool to get men to provide for women, it has nothing to do with male biology.
Look, everyone knows that the system in place right now is complete shit for men. Everyone knows that too many women have bought into the modern mania of feminism. However, I do not think we should just give up and drop out. I say we should still want meaningful, romantic relationships where *we* are not the bitch. That means acting like a man, and controlling your own path and what you want from a wife. Good old fashioned masculinity and sternness will make this possible. Gentlemen, go out and find a worthy woman and make her your love. Forget whores. Forget meaningless chatter in night clubs. Drop the pity and woo a chick that is worth your time.
“Gentlemen, go out and find a worthy woman and make her your love.”
Too much Disney for this one.
@Brett Stevens:
“Only biologically defective ones.”
Who’s defective and what criteria is used? If the criteria is having lots of children then yes I can see your point. Defectives like Ghenghis Khan and his heirs, Niall of the Nine Hostages, Peter the Great, and the Ottoman padishahs certainly didn’t produce as many kids as monogamy dumbasses in the 50s did. (Oh, wait!)
Were the powerful men throughout Western History who had several mistresses also defective in their rejection of monogamy? Also, if a man is, as you say, “defective” and is extremely satisfied with not having an emotional connection to women should he follow your advise. If he is living his dream and it has nothing to do with Father Knows Best, why should he be in a romantic relationship? It seems like the Tom Leykis experience, if done properly, offers few pitfalls while marrying an American woman can VERY quickly turn into hell on Earth. Plus, if a man really wants to go the Leave It To Beaver route, perhaps he could just cohabitate.
@Rosenberg:
“Too much Disney for this one.”
My thoughts exactly.
“Too much Disney for this one.”
You’re totally delusional if you don’t think you can find a single person on this entire planet to love.
I’ve been loving the same person for the past 3 years now and things are great.
Regarding the OP, the conclusion does not surprise me.
My first impression of this site and similar sites was that this whole thing is Radical Feminism, only inverted. I have continued reading because I find it interesting in various ways.
Just like radfem, MRM doesn’t have much of useful answers – but DO (directly, and more importantly indirectly) raise some interesting questions.
So you’re saying that “those who profit from us” planned to make us their bitch by encouraging us, via the MRM and feminism, to spend our money on ourselves, avoid taking on responsibility for a wife and child and to have committment free sex with many women?
And what’s your solution for this? Man up, get married, have kids? Just like Hyminowitz and company tell us to do? No way you’re being made anyone’s bitch there right?
Out of the two alternatives there, I see option two as the most likely path to becoming someone’s (employers, governments, whoevers) bitch. Men work much harder when they have a wife and kids to support. When they are without this responsibility, they feel more free to take easier or more satisfying jobs, work shorter hours, etc. I really don’t see encouraging men to think only of themselves and their own immediate gratification as being an optimal strategy for any powerful group seeking to manipulate them for their labour. After all, who wants their bitch to be a selfish, irresponsible child?
Setting aside the issue of who is making who else their bitch, another theme you have examined is which approach to dealing with women is best. On one side is the “MRM” path which you have described as pumping, dumping and generally avoiding any financial commitment towards women, or the “manly” route of love, marriage and kids.
There’s two flaws that most arguments within the Manosphere for the marriage solution seem to share. First, the overly romanticized view of marriage. I am aware of a few of those “perfect” marriages where the couple have been together for years and are still as in love as the day they met. I am also aware of far more marriages that have ended badly or are dragging on horribly. Those “Disney” marriages are very rare. Love doesn’t often last that long- at least not long enough for a marriage that’s meant to last a lifetime.
Second, there is this attitude that some Manosphere marriage supporters have that their masculinity, skill with game, or all round alphaness acts as some sort of magical shield against female entitlement and misandrist laws. “That shit will never happen to me, I’m far too manly! If you’re concerned about getting your house, half your shit and your kids taken from you in divorce, you’re obviously just some limp wristed skirt wearing girly man”. Theres obviously a bit of the old masculine shaming going on here, and in response some in the MRM have even thought to redefine the definition of masculinity to exclude the idea that masculinity should necessarily involve these ideas of a disregard for ones own personal interests in order to benefits others. Especially women. If you’re the type that feels the urgent need to conform to some given version of “masculinity”, that’s probably pretty helpful.
The MRM strategy is not without drawbacks either of course. Your claim that it is like a polar opposite of feminism is not entirely without merit. It definitely furthers division between men and women. And for some men, giving up the dream of having a family is difficult. Its a primal urge.
For me though, the approach I have taken to deciding this issue is simple, pared down to the bare essentials. it’s just a matter of measuring risk and effort versus reward. Is marriage and kids worth the effort it takes to obtain them, and the risks involved, or not? It’s actually a formula you can apply to any area of your life. You have a limited amount of time on earth, a limited amount of effort you can expend, and you want to maximize the reward you get from it. It’s pretty straightforward and effective, and frees you from have to worry about whether you’re meeting anyone’s particular ideas of manliness, whether you’re free, or God forbid, whether you’re the bitch of some government, employer, or Abstract concept.
The thing I keep seeing here is basically: “Some women are bad, therefore, completely forsake the prospect of marriage.”
This is faulty thinking.
“The thing I keep seeing here is basically: “Some women are bad, therefore, completely forsake the prospect of marriage.”
This is faulty thinking.”
Yes that would be faulty thinking. And if that was what we actually thought you’d have a point. It’s not that some women are bad (although they are, and sometimes it’s hard to know this before committing oneself), it’s that the laws surrounding marriage create an environment where a happy outcome for men from marriage is less and less likely as time goes on. A divorce rate of over 50 percent, children going to the mother after divorce in something like 90 percent of cases, crippling alimony and child support, laws like VAWA giving women the option to claim spousal abuse to get a man kicked out of their house on the mere accusation of violence. I could go on. Are what are the options that men have for dealing with these risks? Pick your woman well (and hope you don’t miss any glaring faults before you’re committed), and get a pre nup (and hope a misandrist judge doesn’t throw it out)?
If you still want to get married these days with a full appreciation of these risks that’s your decision, and I don’t condemn men who make that choice. If a family means that much to them that taking the risk is with it, then best of luck to them. Really.
However, it seems that so many of the men who advocate this path are “dealing” with these risks by just pretending they don’t exist. Ignoring reality in favor of your romantic fantasies is faulty thinking.
That is all and good but that shouldn’t stop you from trying to find someone that is worthwhile. That is not a “romantic fantasy” but something that is good.
“That is all and good but that shouldn’t stop you from trying to find someone that is worthwhile. That is not a “romantic fantasy” but something that is good.”
Fair enough. As long as you’re being realistic with yourself about both the benefits and risks from marriage. Some men really do seem to buy into the whole Disney esque fantasy of what love, Marriage and family is really like, and I think this blinds them to the various downsides. Or alternatively they just seem to gravitate to that path because they are “wedded” to some old fashioned ideal that it’s “what men do”, and to do anything else is unmanly. Frankly, neither of these provide proper justification for making a very serious commitment with significant potential risks and lasting consequences. The fact that so many men seem to advocate for marriage based on these flimsy reasons and without pointing out the potential HUGE pitfalls seems to me to be irresponsible at best.
I do not deny that modern marriage is one hell of a risk. However, I do think that it is worth taking if you find someone that you are sure of. Being sure of someone is hard at times, but god damn, sometimes you have to take the leap.
Well, here’s hoping that there are no sharp rocks in the water if you do decide to take that leap.
@ CXC:
Inverted radical feminism (IRF) may be a better acronym than Mens’ Rights Movement (MRM) which sounds like a balding divorced dump.
@ JeremiahMRA:
We restrain a lot of our natural impulses because they’re stupid and lead to bad conclusions. Teenage boys without guidance (many of them at least) will rape sheep. Should we be good liberals and cheer that one on, too?
@ Ouroboros
Exactly.
If marriage is difficult, and so we give up on it, then the adversity has made us its bitch.
If instead we behave like men and not mice, and fight hard to find a good outcome instead of whining like good liberals about what victims we are, then we’ve made it our bitch.
Most MRAs are basically whiny Subaru-driving liberals who want a reason to feel sad and give up and then defend their inferior choices as necessary. That’s a good way to slice off your own genitals and serve them to the world as petits fours.
I walked away from a $50,000/year job in this economy. With less than $10 in my bank account, I would rather still be in my current position. It feels good to not be a corporate bitch anymore.
“Exactly.
If marriage is difficult, and so we give up on it, then the adversity has made us its bitch.”
If men keep getting married despite the fact that laws surrounding marriage are become more and more disadvantageous to them, then society has made them it’s bitch. The “bitch” thing works both ways you see. Regards it’s usefulness as a method of analyzing serious issues such as marriage… well I think it needs some work.
As to the “giving up because its difficult” issue….Whether we are aware of it or not we weigh up cost and benefit every day when when making decisions about what we will and will not do with our lives. Why should the decision whether or not to marry be exempt from this analysis? Why should we treat marriage as if it’s difficulties, however large they may grow, MUST be overcome? It’s not as if marriage is crucial to our own individual survival.. or even our happiness. And after all, if there’s no limit to what you will put up with in order to get married.. well see my “bitch” comment above.
Why not find something else challenging to do instead… something with a better payoff which you have a little more control over than whether some flighty chick will decide she needs to “find herself” and take half your shit when she kicks you out.
Whites keep fleeing neighborhoods that have been overtaken by NAMs. They need to “White Out” and stop fleeing these neighborhoods. You’re a bitch if you flee and don’t have your family risk rapes and beatings. Look, I know its tough. But those neighborhoods used to offer us so much. So in spite of the danger, Whites should stay.