Over at Full of Grace, Seasoned with Salt, Laura Grace Robins critiques an anti-domestic violence campaign that urges men to teach boys to respect women:
1. There is this assumption that respect is something women are entitled to by simply being a woman. They don’t have to earn it through good behavior or by being a lady. Men are to respect women no matter what. If one wants to use such a blanket definition, then men too should be respected no matter what. Men should be respected when they behave badly and when they don’t act like gentlemen. But of course, we all know that will never happen, because a man “has to earn a woman’s respect”; we hear that often enough, but women never have to earn a man’s respect.
Plus, if we are applying respect equally, who is out there teaching girls/women to respect boys/men? Insert crickets playing here……
I’m very familiar with these types of campaigns. Having spent an inordinate amount of my driving time listening to hatemongering right-wing talk radio, I’ve heard countless PSAs. One of my least favorite is the one about teaching your son “what not to hit,” in which a grave-voiced announcer reminds us that “all violence against women is wrong.” No word on whether there’s a self-defense clause, but I doubt it, because as we all know, only MEN are violent!
I didn’t write the title of the post just to be provocative – I really do not respect women, and I never will. I don’t respect men either, but I doubt anyone will get mad at THAT. While the usual game maxim of not respecting women to fuck them more easily applies somewhat, my primary reason for not respecting women goes far beyond that.
In our liberal humanist egalitarian happy happy joy joy world, respect is defined as something you’re supposed to give to everyone, from the mightiest paragon of Galtian innovation to the lowliest bum pissing on himself on a street corner. If you DON’T respect everyone on this planet for the mere reason of being human, why then you’re a horrible, terrible, very bad person, cast out of the Family of Man like an elderly flasher waving his junk in a supermarket. Nuh uh, holmes. Just because I don’t want to kill you or otherwise make your existence a living hell doesn’t mean I have to “respect” you. I’ll tolerate the urine-soaked bum because he deserves that much as a human being, but I’m not going to give him accolades just because he had the good fortune to be squeezed out of someone’s uterus.
Respect is not something that is automatically given to you – it is something you EARN. Specifically, in the world of men, respect is a currency meted out on the basis of individual merit. If you are a man and you want to be respected, you have to prove that you DESERVE to be respected. You earn respect by excelling in something, be it in the form of a skill, interesting life experiences, or extensive knowledge in a particular field. If you can’t make something of yourself in Man World, you’re nothing. You’re weak, deadweight, a useless cunt, and you have no right to demand ANYTHING from your betters aside from their contempt.
This comes down to the differences in how manhood and womanhood are perceived. Women automatically confer respect to each other because there’s nothing exceptional in being a woman, aside from menstruation. If you’re a female and your vagina bleeds, congratulations – you’re a woman. It’s a natural process, no different than farting or burping. In contrast, males have no obvious physical trait that separates the men from the boys. The reasony why many traditional cultures have rites of passage for boys but none for girls is because manhood itself is something that each individual male must earn.
In my circle of friends, we all respect each other because each of us has skills or knowledge that require talent and work to master or accumulate. Can you change the oil on your car, re-assemble a computer, or run a snowblower without getting your hand cut to ribbons? How many books have you read? Can you paint, draw, compose or write? How good are you with women? How well can you cook barbecued ribs on a charcoal grill? Have you lived in another country, served in the military or done prison time for selling drugs? Are you a loyal, trustworthy person? Every group of men has something they will respect other men for, even if its something trivial like video games.
This is why I don’t respect women. I respect WOMAN – individual women who have earned my respect through their words and deeds. But feminists, as exemplified by the ad Laura fisked, don’t understand this. Despite the fact that women now compete with men in the workplace and other spheres, they demand that men afford a blanket respect to the fairer sex irregardless of what they’ve done or who they are. Like with chivalry, they want to reap the rewards of Man World while playing by the rules of Woman World.
Well, I say no way, chica. If you’re going to live like a man, you’re going to be treated like a man, and that includes being judged on who you are as a person. Want my respect? Impress me. Learn a foreign language. Go on a trip. Work out at the gym and lose weight. Master a trade. Write a book. Don’t cart around your 3.4 GPA and bachelor’s in Latin American Studies from NYU like I’m supposed to give a damn – do something REAL with your life. If you insist on being a worthless cunt, I will treat you like a worthless cunt – like I would treat any man who behaved the same as you.
Oh, you say I OFFEND you? That I’m a misogynist for holding you to the same standards I’m held to, both by myself and others? Well ladies, if you don’t want to run with the guys, you’re always welcome to go back to the old ways…and all the restrictions and responsibilities that implies. If you don’t like that, then shut up and get back to work. Crawling out of your mother’s vagina or having one yourself doesn’t entitle you to anything in Man World. You chose this path, and now you must walk it all the way to the end.
{ 94 comments… read them below or add one }
For women, respect = “rapport, validation, consideration.” For men, respect = “honor, place, status.” Women are communal, men hierarchical. Women fair, men just. Women herd, men pack. Women’s conflict is continual low grade frenemy stuff; men’s conflict is sharp, decisive, pack hierarchy stuff.
Want my respect? Impress me. Learn a foreign language. Go on a trip. Work out at the gym and lose weight. Master a trade. Write a book.
On the other hand, men’s sexual attraction to women isn’t affected much by this kind of stuff (well, except maybe the weight loss), a fact that is often repeated on the PUAsphere.
It’s possible that there is some confusion between “respect” and sexual attraction here. Perhaps because of beta males who tend to always treat women they’re attracted to with supplicative “respect”. So no wonder women are demanding “respect” for nothing – it’s the expectation of beta orbiting.
Respect requires honest work, honest talk and honest living.
And they wonder why we don’t respect them.
This book has a section about defending yourself against a crazy chick:
http://www.amazon.com/Little-Black-Book-Violence-Fighting/dp/1594391297/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1295013053&sr=8-1
Wow man, you’ve been a roll here lately.
If menstruation makes a girl a woman, what does menopause make a woman? The feminists leave out that question when they indoctrinate young ladies. Boys, meanwhile, are made men through struggle and can deliver sperm to the very end. That’s a gold star for men and a silver star for women. Being a woman is better than being most things in the universe. But being a solid #2 just isn’t enough for some people.
That move away from Albany must’ve got you in touch with your muse again.
Sad. The only one with an ass is the chubby one with the Santa hat.
I’ve always thought that prison was a cruel place for women…. In a healthy society, this woman would be put to death.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1346853/French-prison-governor-fired-affair-21-year-old-female-inmate.html
Even though he was a prison chief, I can’t really blame him.
In this case, her relationship was exposed because of her heinous anti-Semitic crime. How many other women are
getting away with similar behavior in Western jails?
What you’re doing here is forfeiting, conceding the rules of the game to feminists, then forfeiting the game. Flip the frame and win the game. Game without Tradition is happiness in slavery, pro-tips for coping with being defeated in the battle of the sexes. That’s preferable to groveling and outright submission, but why not calmly, confidently, and patiently attempt to debitchify them?
Women don’t deserve to be respected regardless of their behavior. But I think they do deserve to be shown the path to respectability. If they choose not to take it, then that’s on them. But even stray dogs are given an opportunity to become domesticated and loving members of a warm and happy home. Why aren’t skanks?
If you insist on being a worthless cunt, I will treat you like a worthless cunt – like I would treat any man who behaved the same as you.
***************
This is the TRUE definition of equality. If only the vaginas and male vaginas practiced what they blindly and hypocritically preached – equality.
The right men can form lifelong friendships based on genuine respect and camaraderie. Women… just can’t. Not with men and not with each other.
It’s sobering once you realize women are taught to demand – and reap – the benefits of oldtime Chivalry – while retaining the right to act like stripper sluts when it suits them.
Society permits it, so it is deemed proper behavior.
Repect for men and respect for women does not traditionally refer to the same thing. Men have always earned respect through their accomplishments. Women were respected for being honorable, chaste, good mothers, wifes, etc. These were not attributes that were apparent to the man on the street. Women were given the benefit of the doubt unless they exhibited behavior the showed otherwise. Another way to look at traditional respect for women is the valuation of them based strictly on inherent reproductive value. If I live in Africa and I find my neighbor’s ox wandering lose (and I’m a decent guy) I’ll do what I can to see that no harm comes to that ox and try to get him home safely. I recognize the ox as an object of value to my neighbor and I may treat the beast with a level of care and respect that looks a bit like chivalry. If a traditional male stops to help a woman change a tire he’s helping get someone’s ox home safely.
You are a fucking genius.
Beautiful, brings a tear to my eye.
Shh.
Onion.com worthy.
—-
http://jezebel.com/5733755/do-women-have-a-biological-protection-against-rape
Researchers have found that some women become physically aroused by accounts of rape, as well as of consensual sex. Their explanation: maybe arousal is the female body’s way of protecting itself from injury during sexual assault.
Tubs:
I think in the past women formed longlasting friendships that were based on something more than backstabbing and gossip. My mom has sever friends she’s know for 30-40 years. But these days the role models for girls prize self absorption and shallow selfish behaviour above all alse, so it’s near impossible and for women to make strong long lasting bonds when every other chick is considered a “frenemy”.
Great post.
To put it in a historical and pop cultural context: women today go around flashing their Victoria’s Secret thongs, yet expect to be treated as if they were Queen Victoria.
The word “lady” is used and abused to the point that it is as worthless today in common parlance as racial shaming is becoming/has become. We call everyone “lady” from the lowest, crassest, raving bitch to the woman with the finest manners and demeanor that any human being could expect of a woman.
We need to retake the word by refusing to use “lady” in a pejorative sense. If you find yourself (and you used it like that here) saying things like “hey lady…” to a woman who is misbehaving, catch yourself and say something else. If she says anything about it, mock her for it. She’s not a lady, so don’t use it in any capacity, even sarcastic, to describe her.
“It’s possible that there is some confusion between “respect†and sexual attraction here.”
I guess you never heard of prostitution? I agree though, that the Reverend Ferdinand has made a slight boo-boo in his accordance of respect to women who do stuff like foreign languages or write a book. I might think a woman who does such things is pretty neat, and respect her for that specific thing, or as a colleague or whatever. But I won’t respect her as a woman unless she gives solid evidence she has the soul of a real woman. Most modern females don’t. They’re just gay dudes with vaginas.
A South Park episode summed this up pretty well in the gay rights issue:
We straights are expected to TOLERATE them, not ACCEPT them.
Same goes for every other self-defined victim group.
I’m sending this to my feminist male friends. This is totally pro-read.
Also I’m BCCing my dad because he’s talked about this several times before. He’ll definitely agree.
As they say, if girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice……then why do they taste like fish?
Remember what ‘Feminism’ is about :
1) Crow about areas where women possibly have it worse than men (making up bogus stats about a ‘pay gap’ where they can get away with it.
2) Distract everyone from areas where women have it better than men (life expectancy, workplace deaths, legal system, education system, social settings, etc.).
That being said, I have less and less sympathy for men who don’t fight back in some way or another (I already showed us one easy, cheap way of generating pushback).
I do everything I can to troll feminists and get them worked up and hating my hateful site. No bites! Gah. I’d be trolling feministing except none of my attempts to register have worked.
I enjoyed this immensily. Every man, shit every woman too, needs to read this. Couldn’t have said it better if I tried.
Fifth,
You forgot another aspect of feminism:
Anytime men do better than women: unfair! evil! patriarchy at work! a problem needing massive government coercion and taxpayer money to correct!
Anytime women do better than men: nothing to see here, just the natural product of intelligent women achieving excellence…
Yep. You are a true vanguard. A real shaker of the status quo.
Respect is not something that is automatically given to you – it is something you EARN.
A lot of tards misunderstand this. The whole story is, that *courtesy* is automatic, *respect* is earned.
dude. chicks totally respect guys regardless of what they do. seriously.
Thanks FB for the coverage :-). Your accompanying photo says it all. I just posed a question on my blog asking those who think respect is NOT something to be earned, something one is entitled to for simply being a human….then doesn’t it follow that women should respect anyone who abuses them. I await their response.
Mike T,
I agree about the usage of “lady”. I’ve done a few posts covering this. It got me thinking how women in groups often refer to themselves as ladies, “Hi ladies, how are you doing”, etc. Women think now that just because they are women they are also ladies, that they are one and the same. Ironically, what always comes out of me is in groups of women is “Hi guys, how are you doing”. It is more natural to call women what they are these days—guys (women pretending to be men).
BZZZZZT Wrong. Women do not compete with men in anything. In the workplace, women have affirmative action granting them entitlement to positions and promotions over men. In “competitive” sports men are handicapped to give women a head start. In gubmint incentives provided to businesses and education, women’s entitlement rules.
No matter what women “achieve” in this affirmative action zeitgeist, they can never be worthy of respect. They are naught but entitlement pigs wallowing in the AA gravy train.
I would have respected this article a lot more had you not written “irregardless”. ;-)
Minor quibble aside, great post.
Many thanks, Ferd, for this superb post. I should give a copy to our cunt department secretary who carries on about “respect” so much you’d think she was Aretha Franklin and Rodney Dangerfield combined. I can’t think of anyone who demanded it more and deserved it less.
Ferdi,
AMEN, Brother-as per usual, excellently well put. I really don’t have anything to add.
Or maybe I do, heh heh. Great minds do indeed think alike:
“Women Are The New Men Now”
http://obsidianraw.bravejournal.com/entry/60425
We’re basically on the same page, and it is refreshing to see more Men actually starting to raise up their voices and speaking on this. The more of us doing this, the sooner Women as a group will either sh*t or get off the pot.
Biggups to Laura for her post on the topic, too. Like you, I gots nothing but mad respect for those individual Women who have proven themselves worthy of respect, and who have accepted the good and the bad of being a part of “Man World”. But for those Women like the ones you wrote about in the ad, I too have for them that can only be accurately described as something that is several magnittudes beneath contempt.
Keep up the good work!
O.
Somehow, I just KNEW a pic of blond girls [showing ass] would bring obsiddie run-running back here.
“Somehow, I just KNEW a pic of blond girls [showing ass] would bring obsiddie run-running back here.”
Oh please with your inference.
I’m black and couldn’t tell you the color of Ms. Santas hair,
To your point: wasn’t checking for it.
-well said Trouble!
A few years ago when I payed a lot of attention to the conflict between belief and atheism this was something I had a problem with when it came to certain aspects of the religious – that respect and honor was demanded, not earned (mostly by parents).
A bit off topic, but as for the sexbots, well damn. Is this the filter that some talk about when trying to explain why we haven’t seen any intelligent life elsewhere? That something or somethings make it exceedingly rare for civilizations capable of space travel to exist or continue to exist?
You are an idiot.. Plain and simple.
Behold the intellectual giantess Rachel, for she hath spoken so plainly as to convince us that FB is an idiot, unlike those prophets of feminism pictured taking part in the ancient sacrament of thong display in the sacred house of facebook. How could I have been so blind as to have missed what was staring me in the face all this time? Rachel, Goddess bless you for showing me the errors of my ways.
No convincing needed… oh. and your welcome. :)
Well, so much for Affirmative Action Admission Passes in edjumacation.
I’ll need an Ebonics translator, but I think you people call the color “shebeblond” or “amberlamps.” (sp?)
I feel the need to seek out your mother and slap her.
What I got from this blog:
“Women are diferent than us, and that makes them subhuman. Anyone that dosen’t adhere to my narrowminded worldview is subhuman, deserving no respect. Even if the “Earn” respect, I will still treat them horribly because men are superior. I don’t have the mental capacity of a trilobite, so I am uber-conservative, and see any social changes as wrong. I also don’tunderstand the concept of relativity, so everything is an absolute to me. I don’t know that masculinity and femininity are social constructs that hold relaitivly no meaning. Any man who isn’t “Alpha” is a loser. Nerds are losers, because they are different than me. They don’t put priority on the second head, so they must be gay or losers.” As a sidenote, any man who tries to prove how masculine he is is usally a closet homosexual, not if there is anything wrong with that though.
I’ve only read a few articles on this blog, but you have done a good job trolling. I am just suprised that so many troglodytes support you.
I got that I’d lurv to see you test your Liberal theories: move to a Muslim country and post as “Raptor Muhammad.”
Now, eat me, Saviour.
My broher is allah-saurus, if that means anything.
Heathcliff–
Women were given the benefit of the doubt unless they exhibited behavior the showed otherwise.
They shouldn’t be given it any longer, given the realities, and levels of belief in their entitlement.
Considering that “Mankind” includes women, To make the assumption that women are “sub-human” is contradictory and ignorant. That would make man “sub-human” now wouldn’t it? Behold, he who speaks such misinformation is nothing other than a fool.
LGR–
The frequency and seriousness of the “abuse” of women in America, particularly in the white middle class and above is vastly exaggerated by feminists. The extent of the abuse, particularly but hardly solely emotional abuse of husbands by wives in middle class and above America is vastly ignored and denied by feminists.
A whole lot of the “abuse” campaign of feminists is to remove the physical dominance of married and cohabiting men over their partners, in the never ending feminist drive for the upper hand, despite women being biologically wired to be more attracted to men who have it over them, in various ways.
Men getting shit done in dangerous circumstances:
http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/01/20/qa-how-a-hot-chocolate-ladle-saved-a-man-half-buried-in-gold/
Wow, two asses; one calling all women entitlement pigs and the other saying, ” Boys, meanwhile, are made men through struggle and can deliver sperm to the very end. That’s a gold star for men and a silver star for women. Being a woman is better than being most things in the universe. But being a solid #2 just isn’t enough for some people”.
LOL Sorry hon, but as the author pointed out, bodily functions like spurting sperm are not worthy of stars, whether gold or silver. If they were, giving birth earns women far more than a #2 rating.
Prince, it’s not that new a concept.
“I do everything I can to troll feminists and get them worked up and hating my hateful site. No bites! Gah.”
LOL! Good to know they’re actually controlling themselves. Gah, that’s a kick.
Joseph Dantes, excellently put. Lupo, great post. Mr. Ferdinand, I find your language offensive, your cynicism unnecessary, and your standards in this post perfectly sound and reasonable. Thanks.
I find the authors posting a bit limited in terms of respect and gender. Respect is a sheer human issue, not a gender one.
There is a difference between treating someone with respect vs. having respect for someone. Naturally we all have more respect for the people in our lives, family and friends, for how they treat us and conduct their lives in accordance to our own morals and values or accomplishments. But what of the people we deal with in our day to day lives that are only acquaintance or even strangers? Do we treat them with disrespect just because we don’t know their accomplishments?I don’t think so.
I hold doors open for men and women alike. They do not have to earn my respect just for me to treat them with respect. When I go out to eat, I treat the waiter or waitress with respect. Not because they earned it but because respect is a basic human right. I bet many of you do the same.
I also don’t think a person deserves to be disrespected just because they posted a silly picture online of their body parts. Although it’s clear the author used the picture of the young girls being silly showing their butts as an attempt to prove his reasoning on why certain women don’t deserve respect. And even thought the author claims that he doesn’t respect men and women equally, he didn’t post a picture of men being silly. I think we all know why that is.
I can treat someone with respect due to the pure humanity in the act that is a basic human right without respecting them or without them having to earn it. Because how I choose to treat someone, my own personal actions, are independent from what another person chooses to do in their own lives. And how I choose to conduct myself towards others, despite what their actions might be, says more about my character then theirs. Just as their actions say something about them. Now ask me if I respect someone that perpetuated an act against another I don’t agree with and the answer is different. I don’t have to respect someone and their actions to treat them with respect. Because as I said, my personal choices on how to treat someone are a reflection of me and are independent of their life choices.
Now, lets talk about chivalry since the author also touched on this. Quoted by the author: “Like with chivalry, they want to reap the rewards of Man World while playing by the rules of Woman Worldâ€. Actually, what women want is to be treated equal in the work place while still being able to feel feminine when it comes to their relationships with men outside the work place, specifically, our romantic relationships. How dry and boring it would be if women wanted men in their romantic relationships to treat them exactly like how the men in their business world did right? I don’t know one man that wants his woman to act the same to him, use the same set of skills with him for their romantic relationship, that she would in the workplace.
Men and women are different. And they have different feelings, desires and needs in how they want to feel in their romantic relationships vs. their working relationships. Just because women want equal pay (which mind you they still don’t get), doesn’t mean they don’t want to be treated like a woman by their romantic partners. And it’s disingenuous for the author to claim that men are any different in this regard want when men also reap a different set of needs from their romantic partners then they do their work partnerships. If you want to stamp out any form of difference between the genders, then don’t treat women with chivalry, don’t treat them like women, don’t revel in their unique femininity; and don’t get frustrated when a woman doesn’t treat you like the man you want to be for her outside your work life either. Equality in the work place doesn’t mean we stamp out all the wonderful things that make men feel like men and women feel like women. Chivalry doesn’t have to be at odds with equal gains for women in the workplace. The two are actually quite unrelated. Because if the author is honest with himself, he will admit that he desires to be treated differently by his romantic partners then he does his female co-workers because his romantic partners feeds a different set of masculine needs that are wonderfully and intrinsically masculine.
Now for the topic of violence. While violence against men does occur, and should be discussed with the same respect in relation to violence against women, it’s in-authentic to not admit that violence against women is more epidemic. When violence is perpetuated against other men, it’s mostly by other men. When violence is perpetuated against other women, it’s mostly by men. That’s just a fact. Not a slander.
In conclusion, while the author claims he has an equal amount of non-respect for men and women, I think his post speaks for himself.
“If you insist on being a worthless cunt, I will treat you like a worthless cunt – like I would treat any man who behaved the same as youâ€.
Is that so author? And yet, there is no name calling or belligerent attitude toward men in your posting. Not with the ferociousness you direct to women. You can lie to your audience but your words show the truth.
You are an absolute idiot, why is going to the gym more of an accolade than earning a degree?
No wonder you don’t like the original article, you demonstrate all the signs of an abuser. How many women have you hit?
Comment 15 gets it. Genius.
Entitlement amongst women, particularly young women in North America, is out of control and the only thing that’s going to stop it is men treating them as they deserve to be treated, which is like petulant morons who have done nothing, accomplished nothing and deserve nothing. Earn it bitches, we have to.
Keep up the good writing Sir.
There’s some truth to “being the bigger person”. If you call a woman a “worthless cunt” and I know its not directed to anyone in particular (well maybe), then a woman’s reaction would be to insult men. It’s in everyone’s nature to get defensive. It’s a vicious cycle that we must all combat. It must come to an end.
I agree with Erin though.
Maybe what I’m about to say won’t count for some People because I’m a woman, but I believe that there different kinds of respect. I believe there is a basic baseline of respect for everyone- this type of respect means you won’t cuss out stranger for accidentally bumping into you or walk by when someone walking by you falls- common curtesy and respect cause us to treat others with some form of basic respect. There can be the type of respect tied to admiration and high esteem for an individual as well as respect for a person for just the opposite because they are perhaps old and fragile or handicapped. My point being that respect can take many different forms- as do women- to lump the two together would do neither justice- I personally afford everyone that base level respect but reserve the respect I have for a higher standard individual on a case by case basis regardless of gender.
well, this little article full of resentment is probably not going to EARN the writer any respect is it? haha
I think some people are confusing respect for kindness. Respect is a deeper and requires admiration. Kindness is what is really given to random strangers.
I think you seem to have politeness and respect confused. Respect, I agree, is earned in the ways you have said it should be. But politeness is something you seem to think women think is respect that they automatically deserve. Well, truth is, you don’t have to be polite, but some people are polite, so they hold doors for each other and say “please” and “thank you” and so on. Politeness can be done to someone random who you don’t know at all. Respect is something earned and politeness is not. Women would like people to be polite, and men also would. I mean, getting the door held for you is a nice, convenient thing to have done for you, but it doesn’t mean anything. And the other thing–the part about how “any crime against a woman is wrong.” A crime against ANYBODY is wrong, not just because they’re a woman but because they’re a human who has feelings and works hard for the stuff they own (well, most). So, basically, you’re trying to blame someone here, so you blame women. This is common, but everyone is really to blame because no one is perfect and no one totally has their values and thoughts straight.
I have to agree with Erin.
Also, the author would have made more sense if he would have shortened this article to: “Fuck you all.”
And,
….wait for it….
What? Does not compute.
One more time….
Have you ever been a woman? Well, judging from the post I’d guess no. Women are the last ones to “confer” respect to another woman. You bleed out the vagina, whoo. Great. And there is nothing exceptional in being a man besides ejaculating, really. But still, neither is really significant in the grand scheme of things as everyone eventually does either or.
What makes someone exceptional is their character (morals, values, judgements, etc.) And character can only be judged by a set of values and morals one has- part of their own unique character. Whoop dee doo! Saw something there? Like Erin said, the respect you treat people with is more of a reflection of your own character then theirs. I can’t show the same respect to a person with (to my standards) a tasteless photo out in public as opposed to a person I know nothing about, and therefore percieve to have a clean slate. This shows more about me than them. Take that as you will.
And please, men are not impressed by women doing the same things as men. You go to other men for that and self validate yourselves. Just as women self validate themselves with wearing the same thing that model is wearing in the ad. It creates a kind of bond.
We shouldn’t even be comparing apples to oranges. Just know they are both fruit and move on.
Look,men and women should always respect each other but sometimes men don’t understand how a women feels they think oh she’s a slut because she had sex once but then a man has sex with fifty women it makes them cool it doesn’t I’m a women who will respect a man If he respects me the world is getting too sex addicted why don’t you wait until your married you’ll find that it was the right choice and you have a way better time than someone you find off the street this is good advice take it
Please give us more rambling stream-of-consciousness, Ms. Anonymous. It’s so rare to get that from a woman.
This author is so repulsive, I can’t believe it. Comparing men to women is absolutely ridiculous. You sir, have no respect for women, and frankly, should never, ever become involved romantically or otherwise, with one. Shame on your attitude, and shame on perpetuating myths that can come to nothing other than more hate for a gender that has worked tirelessly to gain the respect they deserve! Every woman I have ever known has been loyal, hard-working and loving towards their family members, and I can say first-hand, the respect has never followed their good intentions. So, stop the hate!
@carlos
“You Sir, have no respect for women, and frankly, should never, ever become involved romantically or otherwise, with one. ”
Sad part is that women love men that don’t respect them and they love this attitute. So frankly it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t get involved with women they will throw themselves at him.
“Every woman I have ever known has been loyal, hard-working and loving towards their family members, and I can say first-hand, the respect has never followed their good intentions. So, stop the hate!”
Failed opinion. Sorry lady, but each woman needs to be screened and judged by their own merits we live in a world of equality and that means respect is to be earned not given and women are not the exception they apparently worked tirelessly to be.
How do women gain the respect they deserve from men when men never get any respect from women? the answer is they don’t they have to earn it like the rest of us.
Finally carlos if you are a man this bullshit won’t get you laid so quit it.
“anon July 15, 2011 at 8:36 am
Please give us more rambling stream-of-consciousness, Ms. Anonymous. It’s so rare to get that from a woman.”
Lol that was hilarious man, what a crock of shit from ms.anonymous. She rambled until she finally was able to get to her point across which she tried to hide (she is desperate to find a man to marry).
I would agree to that IF there was equality for women in today’s society de facto, but there still isn’t. This text makes it seems like women have been getting too many advantages from the empowerment of the gender. Historically, women have been excluded from society, just as black, indigenous or poor people. The differences between the genders and the races are easily spotted, so they have been judged solely based on prejudice (and are still, although progress has been made in the last century). In my country, my grandmother was born in a society where she wasn’t even allowed to VOTE! And the big changes that have been happening, they have started pretty recently. The role of women has changed so drastically it is a very big challenge for women themselves to figure out how they are supposed to be – it is a big challenge to combine the new roles to the old ones – a lot of men still expect women to keep their “old roles” and in addition have the new ones, so they must work, pay the bill (or half of it), and still take care of the home, have children and take care of them, remain always attractive to her husband. No wonder there is so many misconception with women, since now they feel pressured to play two roles combined, or worse, deny their femininity altogether!
I do agree with you that self-achievement should be praised, and we all should work to develop ourselves. But respect, that is another matter. I believe you should respect everyone, regardless of their achievements. You don’t have to like them, it’s not personal. But you have to have a minimum level of respect for other people, otherwise it’s OK to beat them, terrorize them or take advantage of them. Which is why there are movements fighting for women, indigenous and black people, the elderly, children, homosexuals… (maybe respect in the text was meant in a different way, but this is worth saying otherwise someone might assume it’s OK not to have any respect for women).
In any case, women and men are still not treated completely equally – women in general still earn less (even if they have qualifications as good as, or even better) than men. They are still objectified by men, many get raped and abused.
There are a lot of men who will disrespect women, in so many different ways, just because of their gender or how they look, and it will not matter if she DID study her ass off, if she DID go on that trip and lived abroad, if she speaks many languages, has had real life experience, if she is an honorable person, even if she IS worthy of respect. None of that matters! I really don’t care if a man likes a woman for who she is or not, but both men and women have a right to be free, not to be oppressed or victims of violence. Women are still being judged solely on being a WOMAN – nothing else. Obviously not you (the author), who praises individual achievement rather than gender differences. But maybe there are still more things to consider than just what you wrote (and surely more than what I wrote as well).
When people say respect women, they mean don’t disrespect them. I still think to some degree women are the minority, and yes we do get paid less, become objectified, not to mention the sexual assault and domestic violence that a lot of women still suffer from. How is it that the prime minister of australia is being questioned as a leader because she has no kids? if it were a man do you think that sort of judgment would suffice? most women are judged based on their appearence and youth rather than their capabilities and most workplaces are still male dominated why? because women give up their careers to have children, women sacrifice everything for their families, I’m not saying that men dont make some (financial sacrifices) but its women who do all the household chores EVEN when they WORK FULL TIME. As for the life expectancy, its closing up why because women are doing the same load at home AND working full time. I’m only 24 and have suffered sexual assault, become the prey of older men, objectified every time i walk down the street, you judge something you cannot understand. RESPECT means dont do those things to women that is all.
I don’t even think you know what you are talking about. Your sexist views are only your certain subset of beliefs but does not look at the subject from all angles. Very incompassionate and you are obviously on a very low level of understanding. I’m also sure you have a dysfunctional relationship with your mother and are very insecure. Besides men are so ordinary and boring, in general, they’re only good at physical things like heavy lifting, fixing cars, or scientific experiments. I do meet men who are good at intellectual, artistic activities, but very few. Women are very magical, they breathe life into existence, the majority of them have deep compassion and emotions. They are complicated and not “easy to figure out” like some men. We are good at everything men are and more, as well. The only reason why men continue to disrespect us and put us down is because they know this deep down. They are just too insecure and don’t want to “give up their power”. Plus, if women are supposedly not so special and don’t deserve respect then why do men continue to seek exploiting and demeaning us? Obviously, we have something special about us that if released would be the plight of male domination. If you really think about it, it shows how dysfunctionl this world is. We shouldn’t even have gender wars. It’s the whole reason why are planet is dying, is because of this imbalance. Life will only be beautiful if women and men learn to forgive, love, and RESPECT one another. No one is better than anyone else. So stop being so damn childish and get over yourself!
hahaha! mommy issues; what a poosy xD
I get what you are saying, but it seems you’ve missed the message of the PSA’s. It isn’t that women are so special and so deserve respect due to their inherent womanhood, but that people who think women are inferior, are things, etc. are the ones who abuse women. There is no excuse for physical violence toward anyone, and the underlying core of domestic violence is seeing women as somehow less than human. So, no, not every individual human is worthy of personal respect, but if people can respect women’s humanity it would lead to less violence.
Erin, I can respect what you’re saying as long as you’re hot. Are you?
I think you’ve gotten the wrong idea. Not all women are air-headed sluts with no skills, though the ones that get the most amount of attention are. Honestly, if you took the time to get to know a nice woman the way you have gotten to know some close friends, you’d find that there are indeed decent, intelligent, hard-working females in this world – they’re just harder to find than they used to be because so many of them are foolishly concentrating on attracting the opposite sex. However, I believe you contradict yourself somewhat. Do you want woman to be themselves, get a backbone, earn their keep in ‘Man World’, etc., or do you want them to look good and be thick so you can screw them with no strings attached?
This article makes many good points, but an equal amount of it is nonsense stereotypical prejudice.
I think women need to be respected, just because without us, there would be NO LIFE, apart from plant matter. Women have to put up with the rubbish men in the world, same as men have to deal with the rubbish women in the world. But again, women give life.
If you don’t respect men then WHY should you respect women either? There should be no segregation on the values you place because of gender.
But wouldn’t it be better to respect your fellow human until they prove otherwise? I’d much rather live in a world of mutual respect than door slamming… this whole blog is a bit pessimistic about the human species in general…
I totally agree with Erin and could give a very lengthy and intellectual argument on this matter but (I’m assuming) like Eileen M, I realised the target audience for this post would never appreciate it and it would only provoke pathetic replies like; if ur hot il respect ur comment (which I am but it’s completely besides the point).
You can make make such small minded generalisations all you like but it only shows ur own stupidity and insecurities. It’s clear to most who read this that you have a lot of issues.
You may find a certain type of self destructive women throwing themselves at you as one person suggested but will u ever find yourself an honest happy relationship? I doubt it because my reading of your article filled me with sadness that u are a person that feels very alone and does not understand relationships at all.
Your comments about the people in your life having skills and qualities u admire only highlighted that u surround yourself with men- therefore implying you don’t invest time to get to know the qualities that any women may have. Your hatred for women that flies of the screen when reading is repulsive but we all know where hatred comes from… Fear.
My advice; invest some of your oh-so-important time practicing what you preach; make friends with some women and actually find out what qualities they have, because funnily enough everyone male or female has qualities and skills. but then I suppose u would want to categorise further regarding skills of value or worthlessness and I’m guessing traditionally male skills would rank the highest..
I’d like to title my little rambling ‘compassion’ because putting the issue of respect aside, I feel you have very little compassion. People are complex, unique and should never be spoken to the way you have voiced ur article whether they earn respect or are given it out of courtesy/politeness, which are both pretty much the same thing and an act of respect within societal behaviour.
U also referred to rites of passage to manhood- I would like to suggest my challenge (above) as yours. As we all know a period does not make a girl automatically a woman nor does some set task make a boy a man but it is actually the start of the journey, usually encompassed by the idea of responsibility and growth. Growth being what I would prescribe for the writer and no not temporary growth of genatalia!
what’s “man world”? & where is “woman world” & how do i get there?
i don’t want to be treated like a man (whatever that means), i just want to be treated & considered equal. my gender greatly defines who i am, but it doesn’t have to define my “role” in society. & as if a woman can behave like a fuckhead (or “badly”…whatever that means) & expect to be respected. if anyone thinks this they’re a half wit, regardless of gender.
Women fail to realize how men have treated other men from long, long ago, all that aggressive behavior between men, fights between them, punches, kicks, etc, everything that men have been doing to other men is what women will get if they try to be like men, you had special treatment because you were treated differently, with other advantages and disadvantages, you want men advantages of working, then you’ll get men disadvantages of not being always able to get a job were they actually treat you good, you want to take decisions in your home, go to work etc etc, fine, but expect fights for power because it’s just the way men are wired, to fight to be the alpha male, there can’t be two of them in a given society (e.g. a family) so deal with it.
That’s why I moved to Abu Dhabi, here women behave like women, and no, we don’t hit them regardless of what tv tells you.
And yes most women in here are happy.
Sounds amazing for an american woman doesn’t it? That somebody can be happy like that?
Well it’s reality you know, everybody has it’s own part in society, and women are not meant to take our, such as we are not meant to take theirs.
This is the best article on this topic I have read in years. You have expressed many of the same feelings I have about women and work, and how there is a HUGE double standard. I might not have used all the curse words, well who am I kidding I certainly would think them. We do not have to be hatefull to them I am not advocating that, but just like you said just because they were born and can give birth, does not give them the right to be respected. In the world of men you had better earn it. GOD BLESS YOU! William in Ky
What societies don’t have rites of passage for women? Go on and name some. And then give me the ratio of those societies in comparison to societies without male rites of passages (if they exist).
Great article. Bookmarked.
Know why I love these articles, though? Because when confronted with these truths, women, instead of acknowledging what is being said, resort to emotional blackmail. Suddenly it’s “respect for all”, though no bitch in th US is willing to lobby or write their state legislaatures/representatives to have misandrist laws and statues (they all are) removed.
Respect? Maybe if you fuck me well, but women in this country aren’t even good at that. Makes me wonder why they even buy the make up or thongs.
well maybe all we women should just go jump off a fucking cliff then. you morons clearly can handle living as number ones in your hubris ALONE.
For all of their “superior communications brain wiring” women are very simply self absorbed MORONS. Get a dictionary & look the word up!
respect: A FEELING of great appreciation & admiration BASED ON a person’s (or a thing’s) attributes &/or accomplishments.
So, it is a “feeling” that you may or may not have towards someone else. NO ONE can demand “feelings” from anyone else. So women are walking around demanding a feeling? This is absurd.
What attributes? A vagina is a rather ugly orifice to begin with. I can think of two other moist places to put my pecker. Voice? Most women generally should keep silent. The disorganized blather & perpetual clucking simply lets the entire world know about their lack of rational cognitive processes.
What accomplishments? Giving birth? That is simple mammalian biology, monkeys & mice can do it. There is NOTHING to respect in this.
So it really gets down to a bunch of moaning hormonally mentally crippled beings having poor self esteem demanding ego masturbation. That is not respect.
As many have commented, respect is earned. This idea of demanding feelings from anyone towards anyone is totally delusional. In daily dealings with people, you should try to be polite BUT I would suggest that when you run into some feminist with a chip on her shoulder.. get rude, shun them, tell them to STFU.
As far as respect of “women” the collective bunch. Nope, don’t know them & I refuse to “fake” my feelings. In fact the feeling that these types invoke in me is CONTEMPT & ANGER.
Wow, are you all American guys writing those comments? Certainly, I’m not moving there in the near future… If you hate women so much, you must even hate your mothers who just open their vaginas to push you out (the relief they must have felt!) I really hope this is just one of those websites for misogynists and that there are some nice, genuine men who appreciate women. Anyway, if you all like only other men, why don’t you just have sex with each other? Are you one of those closeted homosexuals?
OK, ALL THESE WOMEN are taking offense to what the AUTHOR said and i quote “If you insist on being a worthless cunt, I will treat you like a worthless cunt – like I would treat any man who behaved the same as you”… he is not insisting you are worthless “cunts” hes just saying that you should be treated equally and not given any Special treatment because you are a WOMEN. There should be no gender difference but you Women are making it a difference when demanding more respect… i am not an abuser, i am not SEXIST, i just know what the FUCK the author is saying. EVERYONE SHOULD BE TREATED EQUALLY NO LESS AND NO MORE — ChosenOne9111
i TOTALLY agree with ChosenOne9111… if only women could relize but yet have of them show they are terrible at English just judging by half of there sentences starting with “because” and obviously having to be femenists by freaking out over the word “cunt” when its not even directed fully at them its just a analogy of treating people ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL equally, but half these women must not have passed high school.
To answer another one of the Feminists questions about the whole women on facebook acting silly versus the male on facebook acting silly. im a male and i almost never see a half naked male on facebook or them in any way being silly. Then when i look at a typical girls facebook pictures i seem them wearing revealing clothing or having half naked pictures. i think we realize now the truth =/, just women hate to admit it.
And to think most women wonder why they dont get respect, throwing your body out on the internet wont give you any bonus points in a world of renowned fairness aput.
I agree with what most of what the author is saying. But what really bothers me is when men assume I’m one of those worthless, self-entitled, under-achieving women just because I have a pair of breasts, and they treat me accordingly.
I imagine it would bother any decent man if I assumed he was a selfish, sex-crazed sociopath just because some of the worst of them can be.
Raise the standards on women. Absolutely. Treat your daughters like you would treat your sons. We can handle it. It’s just the nature of any human being to accept handouts and take the lazy path of least resistence.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some Calculus to do.
Good opportunity for censorship was missed in this thread, last year.
Remember it hurts them more than it hurts you…
To say nothing that most feminists are flaming racists.(See the now-deceased
b***h Geraldine Ferraro,remember this lying,thieving broad said Barack Obama’s
blackness,NOT HIS BRAINS {well,and the dumb-ass Re-”Thuglican” McCain-Palin ticket in ’08;the “Tea Baggers” and their politician lackeys make Mac and Sarah seem Rhodes Scholars in comparison],were responsible for his ascent to the top of the Democratic ticket,then the White House.Besides,name a feminist with a black boyfriend or husband.(Of course,man-hater Gloria Allred and the other
feministas are SO FUGLY,I know no black lad-ESPECIALLY YOUR TRULY!!!!-who dream of dating one.Remember,girls {you don’t mind my calling you broads “girls,” do you?]-before you burn your bra,THERE’S GOT TO BE SOME BOOBS IN THEM TO GET US INTERESTED!!!!)
I love it when I see the insecure, inarticulate ramblings of the weaker sex….men that is. Let’s face it, men are the weaker sex. The male ego is so incredibly fragile that the idea of sharing power with a woman or the idea of a woman having power over him, sends his ego into a wild frenzy. So what do men do? They resort to using their physical strength to suppress women. When a woman expresses herself sexually, or intellectually, what do they do? They call her names and slander her person in public and in private, or worse, in some countries they just murder her. This is very rash behaviour from a sex that constantly declares superiority over women, but doesn’t seem to have figured out yet why women of the 21st century don’t like or respect them.
Men like you are lost and clamouring for a place in society today, because you can no longer scare women into doing your bidding the way men have done for millennia upon millennia….thats right boys, you’ve had your time for an awfully long time. It’s now our time.
For most men, it would not even occur to them that maybe women don’t treat them with respect because they can see that the man in front of them has no respect for himself, i.e still lives in mommy’s basement even though he’s over the age of 30, or has a “fear of commitment” (which is just male babble for “I’m too chicken sh*t of being an adult and being responsible for anyone, let alone myself”.) So, quite frankly, why should she respect you? If your supposed to be our intellectual and physical superiors, then what is it that has you so frightened by us little weak women? And please, tell me, what is there to respect about a man who is terrified of taking responsibility for his failures and successes in his life?
Instead of looking to the women around you to inflate your egos and hating them for being smart enough to see you for what you are, maybe try becoming a better human being and developing your own confidence and intellect. Trust me, this will put you in a whole new demographic of men and women. Otherwise, if you continue to remain in an intellectually stunted world, inhabited with a copious supply of deadbeats, then men like yourselves will continue to see their place in society be diminished. Which, personally, I wouldn’t mind in the least.
Men like you continue to make the mistake of underestimating women, but a man who is not afraid of himself and of women in general, is a man who can share his power and can recognize admirable qualities in another (man or woman), qualities he may not have and can hand over the reigns to make sure things get done. Men like this naturally garner respect everywhere they go, because they get sh*t done, and THAT’S what women respect.
Most of you could only dream of attracting the kind of woman you really want, and when you do see men with the kind of woman you want, you don’t even have the decency to respect him. You revert to good ol’ name calling again and call them manginas……and you say women have respect issues.
Well, I suggest all you boys out there get used to being trashed by women, since you don’t seem to be interested in attaining anything better for yourselves. Wake up and realize that women no longer have to PRETEND to like you as the deadbeat you are, while secretly wishing you would just spontaneously combust. She feels perfectly confident now to simply tell you to your face.
Look, do yourself a favour. If you want better for yourself then I suggest you move out of your mother’s house, learn how to wipe your own a**, do your own laundry, stop blaming the evil feminists for all your career failures, and in general, take charge of your life. This will most likely impress the quality ladies that you all are so adamantly declaring are not out there.
Then, maybe when you have a moment to yourself, go and take a long hard look in the mirror. Chances are, you will find that the person staring back at you has most likely, and very probably, been your problem this entire time.
Very good article. I have been on a soul search for the past 4 years, as I had decided to stop dating and figure out what was wrong with me, before I tried again. After the first few years, I realized that I was not the problem alone, and that the people that I liked and usually liked me, were not the type of people you should have in your life. After another year of figuring out what they had in common, I found that all of the women I have had in my life are mentally ill, and they all possessed the same traits – from broken homes, dishonest, uncaring/distant, cold, uncommunicative, degrading.
Now though, I say whatever a women wants to hear to get what I want, and then make it a point to not contact/respond to them; although it sounds harsh, it gives me happiness/power knowing that I am causing them to “hurt”….although its not the same “hurt” I have had to recover from. I am not sure if I will ever be able to turn off this feeling, but I do enjoy making women feel as stupid as I felt for trusting them.
Reading through the article I deduced a rather chauvinistic opinion of the author regarding issues on gender equality and women’s demands for equal respected in various domain in society. I agree with the assertion that respect should be earned (by both men and women) and not be construed by women as something they are entitled to just because they are women, although I have to disagree with the women-bashing comments whiche are downright offensive and degrading. I agree that most women today have super-inflated egos afforded them by gains made in affirmative action etc but doesn’t warrant labelling as these hormonal freaks with no capacity for cognitive abilities. Let’s face we women need men just as much men need women. I’m sure there are great women out there just as there are great men. Oh and btw with all the pretext of fighting for women’s right, feminism is nothing but a movement aimed at driving a wedge between the natural harmony between sexes. Just my opinion…
Lost me at “irreguardless”
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