Lovers come and go but haters are forever

Two weeks ago, I wrote a post in which I lamented my lack of funny, creative, and/or interesting haters. In that time, the Goddess of Hate has heard my prayers, for she has delivered a bounty of haters that range from the hilarious to the hilariously messed up. I’m going to highlight the best ones here for your amusement and education. And no, they don’t include hack Roissy retreads like MQ and Keith.

First up, the target of my previous post, Ronald Williams, strikes back:

“Giving exposure to random losers with neither readerships nor writing skills only inflates their egos and hit counts.”

“his blog is read by so few people he doesn’t even rank. Also tell him that he’s just a liberal masquerading as a conservative, like most of the Reagan right.”

Is this really the work of the “master of ridicule” you build yourself up to be? This is your oober blognerd version of a penis measuring contest, ‘my hit count is higher than yours’

I can always respect a blogger/commenter who disagrees with my opinion on issues, and backs their disagreement up with facts of some sort, but it is pretty elementary school playgroundish to, for the most part call me a poopoo head.

I will say that there is actually a lot that I agree with on your site, as I consider myself a traditional male figure, but you regularly take it over the top by denigrating the entire female population merely for being female. Maybe you do it purposely to cause friction and build your readership and hit counts. I don’t pretend to know.

I write my blog because I enjoy it as a hobby. I do not do it to have a million hits. I do not even pretend to know all the little tricks you “exponentially more popular and well-known” bloggers use to build your hit counts.

You may now slam my comments with your name-calling and cyber chest-thumping if you wish. You may even summarize it all with the ever-witty, “You got served!” exclamation. You are obviously a cyber-giant that an inferior, tech-challenged peasant such as myself should never have messed with.

Since Ron’s been a good sport so far, and since he’s got guts for showing his face in this wretched hive of scum and villainy, I’m gonna give him some tips on getting blog hits:

1. Read this. Re-read it. Bookmark it for safekeeping. And read this too. The secrets contained within both will lead you straight to blogging Shangri-La and the adulation of tens of thousands of internet passers-by.
2. When hating, make it relevant. Don’t be afraid to go for the jugular.
3. It’s only the Internet. Stop taking it so seriously.

P.S. Yo momma so dumb, she thinks the Holland Tunnel goes to Holland.

Next, Andrew takes me to task for pointing out that You-Know-Who is an M.O.R.O.N.:

Lol. As I always suspected, Ferdinand sucks kosher kock. or clit. Either way, it looks like the mens movement has been co-opted by more spineless kike lovers.

No dude, you got it all wrong. It’s Illuminati reptile alien clit that I’m sucking, literally now that that “cum dumpster servant girl“ PM/AFT promised has finally arrived. She looks like Yvonne Strahovski, can sing arias, cooks and cleans for me, and hits the underside of my dick with her tongue in such a way that I can see heaven every night. Yes, it is the Illuminati reptile aliens who rule the world, fools! The Jews are just patsies. The reptile aliens were behind 9/11, the Iraq war, the JFK assassination, and the fall of Lindsay Lohan. The reptile aliens control President Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and David Cameron. The reptile aliens made you lose your job and made your wife leave you for a biker dirtbag. The asscocking women-desouling neocons and their fiat butthex matrix don’t have NOTHIN’ on the Illuminati, bitches! LZOZLZLZLZLZLZ!!!!!

P.S. Conspiracy theorists are omega.

Oh, but I’ve saved the best for last, as Kayla unleashes a torrent of hate unlike any I’ve ever seen. I was going to add paragraph breaks to make her comment more readable, but I realized that would subtract from its sheer batshit insanity. Instead, I’ve decided to go with the medieval manuscript method of rubricating (bolding) the most fucked up parts. Read it and envy:

just because all women dont want babies doesnt mean they are feminists, it means they find the lifestyle boring. you have a few good points, but women outearn men so to keep saying they are useless is fucking stupid. how old are you in the first place, to say women are “wrinkled” by the 30′s-since women are useless whores i suppose that is what your mother is. Perhaps if you are dying in the hospital a woman should piss in your mouth rather than giving you oxygen to breathe. God knows you dont want one of those women to step out of their place and SAVE your worthless life, especially if there are no male doctors around. Its not about being feminist, its about common sense. Many males lack intelligence to lead and are fucking stupid. Men cannot give life, all they can do is dump sperm. I can tie you up and extract your sperm and kill you and still be able to survive. You are the useless one. If you kill a woman life would not continue. Give birth, bitch since you are so wonderful. Gender relations have nothing to do with intelligence. It is stupid to submit to anyone or anything that is stupid. Men think with their dicks, they cannot formulate a complete thought without being clouded by sex, so they cannot be trusted to make responsible decisions. You only confirm your level of useless flesh by preaching about hatred towards women and other races. Wow, what a waste of cartilage and your mother’s uterus. Perhaps many women have met son of a bitches like you so marriage and reproducing with a fuckface like you was too disgusting so they opted to sit at a desk and make the money you couldnt make that kept you hiding behind a computer like a worthless pussy writing your nasty hateful thoughts. Youre a demonic spirit that spreads worse than your mother’s legs. Perhaps she should have swallowed your father’s cum that night. Perhaps abortion looks like a good idea when a wasted ignorant hate preaching male like you walks the face of the earth..after reading this trash, im taking a birth control pill. Hopefully you dont impregnate anyone because your ignorance has been spread enough. Since “30′s” is such an OLD AGE for a person (whether male or female) since you claim women in their thirties are damn near disgusting, hopefully you dont live a day past 36, or you decide to do the world a favor and kill yourself. Im not a “hater” i just think you should die a slow death because i find you disgusting and useless. Hater would imply jealousy, and you are nothing to be jealous of. You are a useless hateful demonic son of a bitch, calling every woman a feminist that doesnt like your stupid racist fucked up ideas of life. The only thing i agree with is that marriage is outdated for both genders. Not that you ever picked up a Bible (clearly), but it does state that A MAN THAT FINDETH A WIFE FINDETH A GOOD THING..to tolerate a small dick white man that cant fuck just to squeeze out a newborn so a bitch like you will talk trash about “how the woman’s body looks” afterwards since you need to base things off looks is a contradiction in itself. While women have to live up to these standards, how big is your dick? How much money do you make? How does your body look? Do you have a fountain of youth to make sure you dont age past 36, or do you think a woman wants to look at you when YOUR dick shrivels and your skin is loose, your hair is gray-no, we will go back to the alpha male thats 23 just like your aging pussy ass

When I first read this at my work computer, I had to literally bite down on my lower lip to keep from exploding in laughter. I have never seen so many types of hate combined and baked into a yummy shit pie. In one long comment, Kayla tells me among other things that I have a small dick, my mother is a whore, that I’m a racist, that I’m a waste of skin, that I preach hate, and I’m “disgusting and useless.” She also impugns my cocksmanship, throws a Bible verse at me and says I “should die a slow death.” The best part is that she calls me a “demonic spirit.” In fact, Kayla calls me “demonic” twice, implying that she really means it. I know PM/AFT’s got the best haters in this ‘sphere, but I don’t think he’s ever been called “demonic.” Well, he was once implicated in a “satanic plot to turn men into large boys who fail to have children,” but I’m not sure if that counts. I wonder what’s the over-under before my haters start quoting Henry Makow at me.

P.S. Why is it that a woman always thinks that the most savage thing she can say to a man is to impugn his cocksmanship? I gave up comparing genitals back in the schoolyard.

P.P.S. Seriously, that comment is so screwed up it’s completely awesome. Haters, the bar has been raised. You’re going to have to top calling me a tiny-cocked, racist, demonic whorespawn if you want my attention.

Tagged as: Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech, Ronald Williams