I’ve increasingly become convinced that whoever conceived of the “cougar” nickname that describes single women of a certain age secretly wanted to insult them all. Maybe I’m just biased. When I was a kid, my family spent many a Columbus Day weekend touring beautiful Cooperstown, New York, home of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. We stayed at a campground outside of the village proper that had a number of amenities, including a general store (complete with a large selection of pranks), daily tractor rides, a tricked-out arcade, a miniature golf course, and a petting zoo. The zoo had a cougar cage that for some reason was positioned right next to the golf course, meaning that every time you walked up to putt-putt your ball into hole 18, you had to deal with the ever-present reek of cougar piss from just over the fence. That was my first impression of these majestic beasts – a couple of bored, fat cats literally wallowing in their own dried urine.
Seriously gals, you couldn’t have come up with a better name to describe yourselves? How about “tigresses,” befitting your advanced ages? Or maybe “leopards,” especially since so many of you are fond of dressing like them anyway? Why “cougars?” It just makes you seem slovenly and undignified. Okay, maybe you ARE slovenly and undignified, but wearing those facts on your sleeve isn’t going to help your public image.
While cougars have a deservedly bad rap in the Roissysphere, banging them confers some benefits for the young man just starting out in the meat market. They’re super easy to lay, because most of the time they’re pursuing YOU since that’s the only way they can get noticed. They know how to give great oral sex – after all, they’ve been blowing guys since you were throwing up chunks of Gerber carrots in your baby chair. They are emotionally undemanding because they’re out of options and subconsciously know you have the upper hand in the relationship. Just don’t move in with or marry them and you’ll be good.
Unfortunately, on a one-to-ten scale of female solipsism, the more vocal cougars hover around 11 or 12. Meet Susan Crain Bakos. She’s a New York City-based sex journalist best known in these parts for getting torn a new one by Roissy over her supposed preference for black men. Back during my break from blogging, Ray Sawhill dropped me a Facebook link to a train-wreck of an interview she gave (my opinion, not his), and I decided to hold on to it for when I got back on the beat. Read and be amused:
Q. You’ve told me several times over the years you would never date anyone younger than me.  Why the change of heart?
A. That’s not my fault, Alex.  It was ten years ago.  You’ve aged.  I don’t go looking for men of a certain age, they come after me.  Half of my Facebook friends are wanna be boy toys.  Today I got an e-mail from one saying ‘I want to experience your experienced vagina.’  It’s not a very good line and it’s not getting him anywhere but I found it kind of amusing.
You mean half of your Facebook friends are beta bitchboys who’ve given up on trying to bed attractive women their own age and are settling for the shriveled-up dregs. Only a clueless beta – or a cuckold fetishist – would come on to a woman by alluding to the number of dicks she’s had in her snatch. And if you doubt my description of dear Susan as “shriveled-up dregs,” here’s a reminder of what she looks like. She’s the would-be granny in the middle:
You might argue that that’s a bad picture and not truly reflective of her post-menopausal beauty. Well, I found another one:
Seriously, I don’t understand how any normal man could find this hag, chewed up and spat out by the alpha cock carousel, to be attractive at all. Beyond the fact that she’s got to be in her late 50′s at the youngest, she dresses in the dull, asexual style that all women do when they hit middle age and no longer feel the need to be attractive. Short, permed, dyed hair, completely formless dress, age spots – blech. No wonder the only pictures of herself she has on her blog are all close-ups of her saggy boobs. The thought of having to do a woman who could be a dead ringer for my grandma makes celibacy a very attractive option.
And take a look at her gelding of a boyfriend. The poor kid looks like Buster Bunny getting squeezed to death by Elmyra. “Pwease wake up Mr. Hippity Hop! I didn’t mean to hurt you! Pwease, bunny wunny!” Either that or he’s filling up the spank bank by staring at the taut teenage girl in the corner. If this is a representative example of the black men she’s getting fucked by, I am not impressed, worried, or concerned.
Q. Actually, I think that line is pathetic. It’s a kind of Facebook version of hey baby, what’s your sign. How often do you hear younger men use lines like that?
A. First, I don’t think it’s a pathetic line. Lame, not pathetic. A pathetic line is delivered by a man who knows you don’t want him and he is resentful and his resentment just bubbles up.
True. Women can sense your bitterness, guys, and approaching her when you’re in a spiteful mood will kill her interest in you.
Q.  Is it only younger men that come on to you?
A. Mostly.  It’s rare that I attract men my age.  It’s been that way for years.
In her defense, there are only two types of men who are on the market at her age – uber-alphas who have the looks and bankroll to bang young cuties or guys who are unwilling/uninterested/unable to play the game at that point in their lives. The former don’t want her and she doesn’t want the latter, so that leaves only the wet-behind-the-ears betas with no game. Rationalization for this ugly truth coming in three, two…
Q. You’ve sat at several of the bars I have worked over the course of the years and I watched younger men over look younger, more beautiful women to hit on you. Frankly, it amuses the hell out me. However I can never figure out why they walk past the bleach blondes.
A. It’s a positive attitude about sexuality. Men respond to that energy. It makes them feel more comfortable with their sexuality.
…one! No honey, it’s not the fact that you’re a weather-beaten old fart trolling for schlong in a bar that draws the betas like crows to roadkill. Nope, it’s some mythical notion of sexual energy! Young men overlook “bleach blondes” for you not because they know they’ll be blown out by them and they’re looking for a guaranteed lay, it’s the vibe that only a unmarried prune with limbs can have. Miss Butterbuns, I have the PERFECT song for you (which will not embed for some stupid reason).
This is further evidence for my assertion that everyone in the so-called “sex advice” industry should be shot come the revolution, or exiled to an out-of-the-way hellhole like the Falklands where they won’t bother anyone. When they aren’t just plain making crap up, they’re over-intellectualizing what should be a very simple process, misleading and confusing the poor saps who take them seriously every step of the way. The average game blogger has more knowledge about sex in the head of his penis then Susan Bakos has in her entire body, yet she’s the one who’s mainstream? She’s the one who get paid to spout her bullshit for a living?
Q. I know one young man who was utterly horrified of you and your openness when it comes to sexuality. At a dinner party we attended, He actually had to leave the table when you and another woman were discussing the new sex toys available. While turning beet red, he demanded you call them marital aides and ran away.
A. Neither one of us were married. All of this from a discussion of the viability of new vibes in the marketplace. (laughs) It wasn’t like I was describing masturbation sessions.
Of course he was disgusted, you old bag of a slag. You’re old enough to be his mom and you’re talking about sex toys in public. There’s a time and a place for these things.
I’d call you an old maid (the female equivalent of “loser,” as so many people handily reminded me in response to Monday’s satire), but that’d be an insult to the concept. Spinsters had dignity in their tragedy. They were failures, but they kept up a respectable appearance in spite of it. You, miss, have all the dignity of a crack whore sucking dealer dick in a dark alley. People thought I was kidding when I said American women are the only ones in the world who get less classy and more crass when they age, and this broad is living proof.
Q. Ok, that begs the question: why younger men?
A. Ok, let’s take on the stereotype: the cougar pays most of the young man’s bills, serves as a mentor and has most of the power. My boy toys are accomplished, interesting men in fields not my own. I don’t mentor them and they pay. I don’t pay for men; men pay for me.
My first cougar love experience was with a man named Jack who used to joke he was more mature than I was. He definitely took care of me on many levels and I wrote about his penis in an article for Penthouse. It was re-printed around the world.
“Men” who pay to pound this witch’s leathery pussy, omegas around the world are laughing at you.
Q. You avoided the question. So again, I ask: why younger men?
A. Hard cocks.
Reading these words calls forth a disturbing mental image of Susan spread-eagled on her queen-sized bed, her hapless Bahamian love-nugget scraping the flesh from his half-flaccid man-rod against the bone-dry walls of her vagina. That vagina’s seen a lot of action, you know, more action then you’ll ever see. It’s seen penises of all kinds, from the long ones that bash against the cervix with pitch-perfect rhythm to the fat ones that make a woman shriek in orgasmic ecstasy. Only one thing remains constant – lots of things go in, but nothing comes out. As your boy-toy of the day stretches your bedraggled crevasse another two centimeters out, as the artificial stink of K-Y floats up from your loins, as you squint and let the few fleeting moments of pleasure ride your aged bones, let me ask you Susan – was it all worth it?
Q. (Zola laughing)
A. Come on Alex, how long have you known me? You know the one man my age I have seen in the last decade possessed an exceptionally fine cock. He played tennis several times a week. The cock is all about blood flow. I worship the cock. Nothing relieves stress like sucking one. I was totally dick-matized by this particular man.
Anyone with a lick of sense knows that the real reason men her own age don’t get hard for her is because she’s an old, wrinkled sow. Want to solve the plague of ED? Get the dudes some young pussy and watch as their man-missiles become armed and ready for launch!
Q. Ok, I’ll play along. If it’s all about the cock, why do you only hang out with accomplished men?
A. It’s a good question. Men have to be smart. If they are stupid, I’m not getting to the cock. Men have to be smart and interesting to engage me in conversation. The cock is an extension of all they are. If he’s not a wonderful, smart, interesting man, I’m not getting to the cock. I will not go there.
The last pretense of a standard she can maintain.
Q. It freaks a lot of younger women out when their men are in charge in the bedroom.
A. They aren’t completely comfortable the male/female sexual dynamic. They can’t separate the daily life competition at work with the nighttime–I want this guy to ravish me. Because some women aren’t yet comfortable in their sexual skins, they have difficulty with men who are comfortable in theirs. The strong, sexual self-confidence of the younger male can seem overbearing. I find it very appealing.
And this is the “making shit up” part. Show of hands, guys – how many of the young women you’ve nailed recently freaked out when you took charge in the sack? None? That’s what I thought. If only I knew earlier that I could get rich by lying to people, I’d have chosen a different career path.
Q. What does the cub get from the cougar?
A. Sexual confidence, sexual expertise and no pressure. They can have an affectionate relationship and hot sex without all the relationship talks via text messages. Girls are always telling me that they ask guys “Where is this going†after a few dates.
First off, there’s something just *wrong* about referring to the guys as “cubs.” Secondly, female sexual experience is massively overrated. Beyond perfecting your knob-polishing skills, all you need to do to make your man’s bedroom experience memorable is show up and make like you’re enjoying yourself. Thirdly, if you’re a man settling for cougars because you can’t handle the baggage that comes with dating a desirable girl, then do the gene pool a favor and stick your scrotum in a meat grinder. Girls are drama, conflict, a constantly overflowing cauldron of emotion. Some of their behavior is the result of being enabled by manginas all their lives, but most of it is just their nature as the bubbly sex. If you can’t handle what girls throw at you, than you are a P-U-S-S-Y, and you ain’t got no alibi. This game does not reward the half-hearted or the cowardly, but only those who will push for the gold, even if they don’t get it. If that still doesn’t appeal, have some self-respect and try escorts. But for the love of God, stop letting this Mrs. Robinson wannabe indulge her flights of fancy.
Q. Really– because my cougar sent me long, odd e-mails demanding to know what I was doing and why I acted a certain way.
A. Your cougar was a therapist. She was crazy. I just call my boy toy and say, “Can I come over and suck your cock?â€
Thus we see the sad denouement to an sad life. The sadist in me hopes I’ll still be blogging long enough to fisk your obituary.
But fear not my readers, for the tide is turning. We’ve been subjected to a relentless fusillade of lies in regards to cougars, fired by the feminist media who seek to denigrate male sexuality every chance they get. As it turns out, cougardom is bad for a woman’s health:
Having a boy-toy husband increases a woman’s chances of an early death.
And the younger her spouse is, the harder it is on a woman’s health, according to research carried out in Germany.
A woman who bags a man seven to nine years younger is 20 percent more likely to die at any given point than someone married to a man her own age, the research found. And when a cougar weds someone more than 15 years younger, the risk soars to more than 30 percent.
And in a cruel twist of fate, it works the OPPOSITE way for men:
However, the trend is reversed when an older man opts for a younger woman. The more youthful his wife, the longer the husband is expected to live.
A “sugar daddy” with a wife seven to nine years his junior is 7 percent less likely to die at any given time.
Yeah yeah yeah, cum hoc ergo propter hoc and all that, but it’s still a blow to the Sex and the City grrlpower “we still got it!” crowd. I’d argue that dating a man who can so easily do better than her creates additional mental stress for cougars, as evidenced by Agnes “I Think My Boy-Toy is Cheating On Me, So I’ll Just Murder Him” Bermudez.
And what about the claim that women sexually peak in their 30s? Whoops, that’s wrong too:
Shedding light on this curiosity of mine was Dr. Sandor Gardos, a doctor in sexual education. According to Dr. Gardos, the notion that women hit their sexual peak at 30 is very misleading. You will find many websites and articles on the very subject talking about how women get their groove on and peak at 30, or 35 while others say 40. But if you are talking about a hormone flux, this is simply not true. Men and women develop the same hormones at the same time: puberty. The only reason why women seem so much more interested at a later age is because we were taught NOT to be interested in sex when we were kids. If you experimented with sex like the boys did, you would be labeled the town Jezebel. Only when women mature are they able to feel more comfortable talking about and practicing sex. They finally open up and begin to feel normal about desiring sex.
Translation: women who get horny in their 30s don’t do so because of a natural process, but because the biological clock is commanding them to get preggers before their last egg dies alone and unfertilized. It’s a symptom of their FAILURE in the sexual marketplace, not their success. I’d wager that married women with children don’t experience this sudden urge to hump anything that moves when they hit the big 3-0.
Even with the tsunami of truth forming outside the levees, don’t expect the cougars to go gently into that good night. There will be more wailing and gnashing of teeth from the spokesmouths of the would be-spinsters that blight the sexual marketplace. But maybe, just maybe, the younger set will see just how pathetic these creatures are and work to avoid their fate. The pendulum always swings back, and each shove you give it will only make the inevitable smack you get in the face all the harder.
{ 68 comments… read them below or add one }
Have dated much older women, women my age & much younger women. Prefer the much younger women. But to some thoughts on ‘why do men date cougars?’
You may have been trying to write this, but missed this possibility. Some men who date cougars do so because they can’t get women their age or younger. If I had to do it again, no I wouldn’t date a cougar. When a 20 something man can’t get women his age, an easy thing that he can do is go for a woman much older than him, esp. 1 old enough to be his mom.
[I mentioned that in passing a couple times (see above the first Bakos picture for an example). - ed.]
You’re justified in asking ‘is a man dating her because he loves her or is he so desperate for sex & love that he turns to much older women?’ Cougar relationships have always been around, but since the 1990s, more has been written. You can find cases of men who in their younger years, have relationships with much older women & in their later years, have relationships with much younger women.
Finally, if a man who is in a relationship with a cougar is later found fooling around with a woman his age or younger, then it’s possible that he isn’t sexually satisfied with her anymor, or he doesn’t find her attractive anymore.
[ANYMORE? You're assuming he found her attractive in the first place and wasn't just settling for what he could get.]
Actor Naveen Andrews who is in a relationship with Barbara Hershey since 1999 comes to mind. Naveen Andrews talks about how he finds older women sexier, etc. yet in 2005, Naveen Andrews was found to have fathered a child with Czech actress Elena Eustache who’s a few years younger than him. It’s possible he had the affair because he doesn’t find Barbara Hershey attractive anymore, though he probably won’t say this because he doesn’t want to insult Barbara Hershey, if indeed this is why he had the affair.
How can her black male companion get it up with her? Seriously?
[I'm guessing he shuts his eyes and visualizes Scarlett Johansson. - ed.]
I have to jerk of 3-4 times a day, when I am not with an escort or booty call arrangement.. and I still would not be able to perform with her.
I have had women in their late 30s and early 40s, but they were in reasonably good shape and well preserved. This hag is an abomination.
Sigh.. It’s not all about sex, you know. It’s about loving and caring and sharing AND sex!.
The whole box and dice..
A man who has shagged 400 + women is not an attractive proposition for a quality woman who wants to settle down and have a family with a man she expects will be faithfull to her.
Indiscriminately dipping the wick whenever the feeling moves ya is not a turn on for any decent woman..
I mean, would YOU want to marry a woman who had slept with 400 men?…
Nah, didn’t think so.
But hey, no need to worry, you will always have a steady stream of sluts to satisfy your desires ;)
And when you get really old.. well, there is always viagra.. :D
[And escorts. You mustn't forget the escorts. - ed.]
“Reading these words calls forth a disturbing mental image of Susan spread-eagled on her queen-sized bed, her hapless Bahamian love-nugget scraping the flesh from his half-flaccid man-rod against the bone-dry walls of her vagina. That vagina’s seen a lot of action, you know, more action then you’ll ever see. It’s seen penises of all kinds, from the long ones that bash against the cervix with pitch-perfect rhythm to the fat ones that make a woman shriek in orgasmic ecstasy. Only one thing remains constant – lots of things go in, but nothing comes out. As your boy-toy of the day stretches your bedraggled crevasse another two centimeters out, as the artificial stink of K-Y floats up from your loins, as you squint and let the few fleeting moments of pleasure ride your aged bones, let me ask you Susan – was it all worth it?”
Damn Ferdinand, you’re writing is on par with the Dark Lord himself. That passage was brilliant. Disturbing, but brilliant.
Also, don’t compare this hag to Anne Bancroft. We’d have all nailed her in the Graduate.
Re those pics of her:
Goo.
Unless they’ve gotten really fat, you can tell pretty well, whether an old hag might have been hot when she was young. Or more accurately: there are some you definitely can tell were never hot, some you’re uncertain about, and others you can definitely tell used to be hot. Facial features don’t change THAT much (though wrinkles are unattractive).
Looking at that hag it’s pretty obvious that even at her best she wasn’t much to look at.
Having to live with having had sex with her would, for a man of any standards, be a preview of Hell…
Translation: women who get horny in their 30s don’t do so because of a natural process, but because the biological clock is commanding them to get preggers before their last egg dies alone and unfertilized. It’s a symptom of their FAILURE in the sexual marketplace, not their success. I’d wager that married women with children don’t experience this sudden urge to hump anything that moves when they hit the big 3-0.
I don’t think “the desire to hump anything that moves” is a fair characterization of what women experience at they get older. With women who are married and have 2-3 young children they’re going to be feeling harried by the responsibilities of motherhood, marriage, and possibly career so there is less time (and patience) for exploring your sexual potential with your mate whereas a single woman at that age sans children can afford to put the work in to figure out what works for her and to experiment.
I got about 1/3 through that article before throwing up on my keyboard, thanks for that.
I’d just like to illustrate a crucial point here; all cougars are older women, but all older women aren’t necessarily cougars.
Here’s an example; one older female I know has never been married and is resentful about it, works in the service sector, drinks excessively, brazenly brags about her sexuality, still clubs and has several faded tattoos. The last time I saw her I had to pull illusions worthy of David Copperfield to get her to leave me alone (as she’s an old family friend, I can’t really tell her to fuck off now, can I?). That broad is a cougar, and I’m not getting in line to be number 300+.
Another older family friend has been married twice but can laugh about it, has her own successful business, drinks in moderation, has a playful, fun way about her, doesn’t club and has no tats. Some flirting is palpable (I don’t think older women can help it with younger men), but she knows not to cross the line and once actually tried to set me up with her daughter (which fell apart due to crappy logistics as she’s about 3 hours away). This broad is an attractive older women who (if it required minimal effort) I would definitely have some fun with.
I believe two years seperate these women. So ladies, if you don’t want to be a bitter cougar who young men fuck because its easy here’s some advice; take care of your bodies, don’t drink like a fish, don’t let your resentfulness about never being chosen shine through and don’t hit on every young man that talks to you.
I mean of course I prefer a 20-24 year old girl to women of any other age, but what I’m saying is this; Cougars are gross, attractive older women are fuckable for men with limited means.
Is there any serious argument of womens’ sexual peak occurring at 35 years of age? Biologically it makes no sense. Chances are any woman who claims their sexual peak occurred in their thirties had a sexually conservative upbringing and shrug it off when they were out of the reach of their grumpy parents. Women who were allowed to be physically and mentality sexual liberal since their teens would undoubtedly say that their libido peaked in their late teens and simmered down over the decades just like mens’ libido.
Why do I get the sense of a woman who desperately, frantically wants to believe what she’s saying…
http://www.bakadesuyo.com/does-a-ticking-biological-clock-make-women-mo
I took a look at the actual paper: the relationship status of the woman and the number of kids she already had did not affect the results.
Ferdinand Baradamu:
Thanks for clarifying & no, I didn’t read your post properly as you DID mention that if a young man is dating a much older woman, then it’s a good possibility that he is doing it because he can’t get women his age. The 3 possibilities would be (1) it’s a fling (2) it’s love or (3) he’s desperate for sex & love which he can’t get with women his age. There are other possibilities but 1 & 3 are what has been my observation to be the most common.
Gil answered it well regarding the sexual peak myth of women hitting their peak in their 30s. Yes, older women would have more awareness when it comes to sex, but that’s not a sexual peak. Physically speaking, libido may actually go down. By the same token, an older man would have more awareness when it comes to sex. Libido enhancers for women such as Zestra, rejuvenation usu. sell to women in their late 30s & older just as Viagra sells to men in their late 30s & older. Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) tends to sell to women nearing & past menopause. H.R.T. can raise libido, but that’s not a sexual peak.
When Madonna & Demi Moore were younger, they were scored & condemned for displaying their sexuality, esp. Madonna. In 1991, Demi Moore was scored for posing nude while pregnant. But in their older years, both women are described as being in their ‘sexual peak.’ Demi Moore is rumored to have had Botox & plastic surgeries, which if the gossip’s true, debunks the idea that she is as beautiful as ever. Don’t be surprised if Demi Moore uses H.R.T. Madonna in her older years gets described as ‘sexual peak’, thus she is praised for conduct which got her condemned when she was younger.
Didn’t Madonna’s 1st husband who’s around 12+ years or so younger than her go into relationships with women 12 + years younger than him? Madonna in 2009 is believed to be involved with a 20 something year old man. Perhaps the 20 something man is desparate for sex & love & it won’t surprise me if later in life, he goes into a relationship with a woman his age or younger. There’s nothing wrong with an older woman (cougar) finding a young man handsome-in fact it’s normal. The topic rather on cougar relationships would be about the young man’s ability to get women his age & going an older woman beyond her beauty prime. Sure there are pretty older women, but all things =, younger women are prettier. There’s a saying old men look like old men, but the problem is that alot of older women also look like old men as they often look more masculine with age.
DO NOT date cougars. you are putting your life and or cock on the line. desperate delusional women make dangerous and unstable fuck buddies. the majority of recent girlfriend-inflicted genital attacks or killings of men have occurred in cases where a younger guy lowered his standards to date an aging cougar. shy/non-party college girls are horny as fuck and their pussy is fresh.
a woman peaks sexually when she is 24/25. date only younger college girls 18-23
Tonka:
While much of what you say is right, wouldn’t go as far as your comment ‘date only younger college girls 18-23.’ A woman’s greatest beauty is when she is 18-35 years old with the roaring 20s being the best, 30-35 being good & after 35, the looks fade.
What will be said about cougar relationships is be wary because sexual interest in a cougar will get dull for most men & attractiveness is way less all things = when compared to a 20 something year old women & yes, all things =, a 20 something woman is prettier.
As to the killing case perhaps the Agnes Bermudez trial you’re referring to, mentioned in another post that we don’t know the facts other than what was reported in the press & Agnes Bermudez was acquitted. Agnes Bermudez said that she didn’t do it, but her boyfriend did it, which resulted in the deaths of 4 people. Could Agnes Bermudez’s story be true? It’s possible. The jury said that they had reasonable doubts. Hopefully the jury did act in good faith & give a verdict as they saw the evidence. What will be said about that trial is let’s neutrally evaluate the evidence & not condemn the jury w/o knowing the evidence as it was presented.
“Is there any serious argument of womens’ sexual peak occurring at 35 years of age? Biologically it makes no sense. Chances are any woman who claims their sexual peak occurred in their thirties had a sexually conservative upbringing and shrug it off when they were out of the reach of their grumpy parents. ”
I think it actually makes biological sense to a point. In a society where monogamy and exclusivity is not mandated, a women in her late teens and early twenties has maximum mating value. In terms of reproductive strategy, it would be in her best interests not to be aroused by any man but the top alpha, because she can eventually get a turn with him. So her lack of responsiveness to any but the top alphas is interpretated as low sex drive (though I suspect with the apex alpha she would be at least as ravenous as the cougar). In a society of mandatory (or near mandatory) pair bonding and exclusive mating, she might not end up with the apex alpha (or any alpha), result in perpetual lack of sexual responsiveness to her mate/husband.
The cougar, on the other, has lost a great deal of her mate value, and can no longer afford to be aroused only by the top dogs. Suddenly, she might find a broader array of men sexually attractive, because she has to. In a society of more orderly permanant pairing, this might manifest itself as a sudden increase in responsiveness to the same mate (and be interpreted as increased sex drive). And even in our society, it might manifest itself in responsiveness to more men that she comes in contact with, again being interpreted as increased sex drive.
Just a thought.
Anon, people can have sex @ any age, incl. old years. But if you’re saying that a cougar physically speaking has more sex drive than a 20 something woman, well this is where you’re wrong. Mental awareness yes, but biologically no. Why then is sexual dysfunction higher among older women than it is among younger women? Why then do sexual libido enhancers mainly sell to women in their late 30s & older as Viagra does for older men?
The sexual peak idea is to validate the sexuality of older women as others have raised. It’s just that older women get praised for conduct which got them condemned & scored when they’re younger as in my eg. given. Yes, if an older woman is trying to mother a child, she’ll have to have sex more in order to do it. But this isn’t a libido rise. You can have sex even with a low libido & all a woman needs to do is lie back & spread her legs. Since childbirth tends to lower libido for many women, then chances are that a 30 or 40 something woman who has given birth will have more libido loss when compared to a 20 something woman who has given birth. It’s the same way that an older person who has had an injury will take more time to heal vs. a younger person.
The forces which reduce libido are > than that which incr. it. As people get older, they see more stressful events in life, downs which lower libido. Older people both men & women are more likely to have health issues vs. younger people. Sex frequency tends to go down with age. Again, older women may be able to have sex, but they do so eventhough their libido has gone down just as an older man can have sex though the libido has gone down. Finally, people usu. don’t like to admit that their libido has decr. as it’s human nature to think you’re as good @ something as you were when you were younger. If a 40 year old woman says that her sex drive is as good as when she was 20, then it’s possible that she is saying this though she knows otherwise. If a woman is using HRT, Botox & other rejuvenation to keep her appearance, then that’s not a sexual peak-it’s using artificial means to treat the aging process.
cougar physically speaking has more sex drive than a 20 something woman, well this is where you’re wrong
The evidence from the study I linked to does indeed show that somewhat older women do indeed have more sex drive, at least in most situations.
The study also controlled for how many children the woman wanted in future. There was no effect.
“Anon, people can have sex @ any age, incl. old years. But if you’re saying that a cougar physically speaking has more sex drive than a 20 something woman, well this is where you’re wrong. ”
No, I’m speculating that a woman at her peak attractiveness might have a wired in sexual response that is far more discriminating (i.e., selective for top males), whereas a woman in her early thirties might have a wired in sexual response that is far less disciminating (i.e., receptive to a broader array of males), which, in a society (think 1950s) which strongly encouraged (almost mandated) long term monogamous relationships starting in the early twenties, this might have been incorrectly interpreted as a stronger sex drive among 30+ types, when what was really happening is the the need of the young nubile babes to bang the uber alpha was being stifled and they were non-responsive to their less desirable husbands (but then more responsive to them as their mate value equalized into their 30s).
“Mental awareness yes, but biologically no. Why then is sexual dysfunction higher among older women than it is among younger women? Why then do sexual libido enhancers mainly sell to women in their late 30s & older as Viagra does for older men? ”
I have no idea what stats you are pointing to, or whether sexual dysfunction is actually higher among older women. But some of what you’re saying would appear to be incorporating women who are no longer fertile. For obvious reasons, I’m excluding women of that age from the point I was making.
Thursday & Anon, thanks for your thoughts. To address your points, Zestra, rejuvenation surgeries tend to be more among women who are in their late 30s & older to treat sexual dysfunction. This debunks the idea that an older woman has more physical libido. There’s no rise in hormones, etc. It makes common sense. Viagra tends to sell to men in their late 30s & older. Older women tend to lose vaginal elasticity & vaginal muscles weaken slow from the age of 30 onwards. This further debunks the women’s rise in physical libido idea & unsure why it should surprise you.
Sex frequency in a marriage tends to go down over the years. If a woman got married @ 24 & has 2 or 3 kids (perhaps more) before they are 30, then why do the sex lives tend to be less after the kids during this time of the mythical ‘sexual peak’ ? Older women like older men often complain that sex gets boring in the marriage after a few years. Let’s see, a man & a woman get married when they’re both 24, have 2 or 3 kids & in their early 30s, they’re having less sex by saying that they have more things to worry about such as raising the kids & the fact that sex has become boring because it’s not novel anymore-@ a time when the woman is supposed to reach her sexual peak? Doesn’t make sense.
Again, sexual frequency tends to go down with age. Finally, there are some older women who have a need to put down younger women. because the younger women are prettier. Have you noticed how in 2009, Britney Spears (she has been slammed since the early 2000s), Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Rihanna & other female entertainers are scored for displaying their sexuality? It has been my observation that some of those who score them are people such as Megyn Kelly (born 1970) of Fox News who has criticized Britney Spears for her sexy antics while Megyn Kelly wears a short mini-skirt? While Megyn Kelly knows why she attacked Britney Spears, it would be a good guess that maybe Megyn Kelly attacked Britney Spears because Britney Spears (28 in 2009) looks better & sexier in a mini-skirt than Megyn Kelly (38 in 2009) & Megyn Kelly does look more masculine. If Britney Spears is still doing the same sexual antics in 2019 when she is 38 years old, then we may hear that Britney Spears is in her sexual peak.
@ snowisfun:
Megyn Kelly looks masculine?!?
Which team do you play for?
Ok, that woman almost made me puke.
I shudder in disgust.
Brrrrrrrrrr.
As a young boy I had the misfortune of eavesdropping on a gaggle of old women (55+) talking about sex, and yes old biddies go for young stallions the same way older men go for young fillies.
I have to go and shower now, no matter how much I rub it just won’t go away……
Gee, I *DID* throw up in my mouth. And not a little.
Cripes.
The sad fact is that the old bag lacks dignity. A woman her age should be a matron, respectable, not having sex, indeed never being less than 100% clothed at all time.
A woman’s sexual peak is about 17-22. Not very long.
I actually bothered to read the link about the myth of women’s sexual peak in middle age. Sure enough the article pointed out that it may indeed stem from girls in Conservative who’s parents want her to remain pure until. Such Conservative parents know if they keep their children from having sex until 25 then they’re job is done as sexual peak for both sexes is over. It’s akin to a child who vows “how dare my parents stop me froming watching children shows because ‘it’s not good for my brain’, well when I grow up I’m going to watch children shows around the clock”.
whiskey, at the risk of sounding like a man, i’d go a bit lower and say a woman’s sexual peak is from 16 to 23 (i give or take an extra year on both extremes)
This post has haunted my sleep. Thank you Ferd for the nightmares. I cannot conceive how a man could fuck this hag. I mean, I do not think I could get my dick up even if I wanted to fuck her. I would rather be celibate than fuck this woman. I just do not picture her as a woman. She is a sexless being.
Anyway, I mentioned the Graduate above and I’ve been thinking about how well this movie presents the older woman/younger guy dynamic. The woman is dissatisfied with her life. The guy is a disenfranchised and drifting youth. At times I even think he is disgusted with himself for fucking the older woman. Then as soon as her daughter comes on the scene he becomes engaged and starts giving a shit about something – namely the young hottie. Amongst this is the older woman’s insane jealousy of her more attractive daughter. Not a very happy film by any accounts and it certainly does not glorify cougarism, rather the opposite.
@ gib: A woman’s fertility starts to decline at approximately 24. I should think that her sexual peak corresponds to her fertility.
@1DV, what was written is that Megyn Kelly looks MORE masculine in 2009 (don’t have Fox anymore) than she did in 2004. In 2004 Megyn Kelly looked great in a mini-skirt but 5 years later, she doesn’t look as good with age setting in. Megyn Kelly’s voice seems deeper among other things. Laurie Dhue formerly of Fox News looked fine in 2003 but 4 years later, Laurie Dhue’s looks have masculinized.
As women get older, many do tend to look masculine. That was what was meant.
I think she likes sucking dick so much because even she needs a break from her own tiresome babbling.
No more effective method for silencing the incessant jabbering of a whackjob feminist has yet to be discovered.
We owe these guys a debt of gratitude:
Q: How do you know when Susan Bakos is blowing a guy?
A: You can hear yourself think.
A. The old chick is totally ugly and delusional. Either the men she gets are coerced in some professional way (maybe she has contacts in certain industries), drunk, or perhaps they are all socially inept virgins. I suppose also there could be one guy in 1 million who finds short hair, frumpy clothes, and lots of wrinkles attractive. I honestly couldn’t “hit that” with a bag over her head, even if I was drunk. Only that picture “cigstache” on Roissy’s has ever elicited more disgust of a sexual nature from me. Even fat whales mostly look better than her.
B. Females seem to have two “peak fertility” periods, though perhaps the earlier period is more extensive in scope. So no, it wouldn’t surprise me if 30 35 year old women experienced a rise in libido for a few years. This happens in the animal kingdom. This idea was discussed extensively as one of the first posts on The Spearhead. The phenomenon of “baby rabies” is real, and it seems to be related to a last gasp effort by the womans reproductive system to get some eggs fertilized before they are all gone.
People thought I was kidding when I said American women are the only ones in the world who get less classy and more crass when they age, and this broad is living proof.
Isn’t this ‘woman’ a Jew? I remember her article from a few years ago about preferring black men. It’s pure propaganda.
[I don't think she's Jewish - her surname is Greek. Not that it matters, because her "propaganda" falls apart when you see a picture of her. She "prefers" black men because they're the only ones interested in her, not because she truly has a choice. - ed.]
Clarence, ‘baby rabies’ or ‘baby fever’ is social & that’s not a sexual peak. 30 to 35 isn’t that old to start with, so a woman or a man will still have a strong libido. As a woman will have lower fertility from 30 & higher, she may need to have more sex in order to get pregnant. If her husband is her age or older, then he’ll have to have sex too with her (it takes 2), yet most people don’t say that a man between 30 to 35 experiences a ‘sexual peak’ because he has to have sex more with his similarly aged wife in order to procreate. They have sex more not necessarily because they want to, but because they need to in order for a pregnancy to happen. This isn’t a sexual peak, because hormone count remains the same or even goes down.
Snow is fun:
I have no desire to do research for you. As I said, there was a thread back at the Spearhead near the time it first started which dealt with this issue. I believe baby rabies to be hormonally based, not culturally based. A biological warning system as it were. And I think you are assuming that frequency of sex in a marriage follows some sort of straight line regression on down, when in fact it seems to go in fits and starts. In any case, I refer you to that comment thread on the Spearhead at which I partcipated. Perhaps it might change your mind, maybe not, but at least you’ll be better prepared if you want to argue this out.
http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/11/16/the-sexual-peak-myth/
Yes & visited that site & saw your posts. Don’t believe that ‘baby rabies’ or ‘baby fever’ is biologically based-sexologists don’t say this, but mainly that the woman wants to have kids & thus will have more sex in order to achieve this. What you also overlook is that after a woman has had kids, her libido often goes down. If a 30 or 40 something woman or older gives birth to children, then chances are that her libido loss will be more than a 20 something woman who gives birth.
Also sexual frequency does go down in a marriage for most couples over the years. Sex is best when couples are newlyweds. After 5 years or more, most couples experience loss of sexual interest because the sex often gets boring, been there, done that. It’s my view that the # of sexless couples are quite high. Of course it’s human nature of a married couple to say that their sex life is as good or better than when they 1st got married, but they have an ulterior motive to say this.
Honest people will admit that their sex life has become boring. In fact, many couples who do have sex after many years of marriage often do it, not because they find it pleasurable anymore, but because they feel it’s their duty to have sex. The couples who stop having sex are the 1s who admit that it’s boring & don’t see the point of continuing what has become dull.
On a 2nd note surrounding baby fever or baby rabies, that can happen @ any age & met can also get this. In fact, 1 reason cougar relationships sometimes end is because the young men in relationships with the cougars get ‘baby rabies’ or ‘baby fever.’ For eg. a 30 something year old man may see his friends who have families & he may think, ‘what have I been missing out on?’ After concluding that he really does want kids, he leaves his much older woman who is 50 something for a 20 something woman who can mother his children. Would this 30 something man then be called as in his ‘sexual peak’ if he finds a 20 something woman, perhaps 10 years or more younger than him who can mother his kids? Don’t think so.
Even if baby fever is biological, it doesn’t incr. libido. Hormones don’t go up, they may decline. It wouldn’t be surprising if homos & lesbians have ‘baby fever’ only that homomen & lesbian women would use Artificial Insemination. Other things with baby fever would incl. adopting children. In worst case scenarios, people have even kidnapped children to raise as their own. Little to do with libido.
Who the hell would ever want to fuck, let alone even touch, that hag??? Jerking off to porn would be more dignified.
“How can her black male companion get it up with her?”
He can brag to his buddies that he’s banging a white woman… he just has to make sure they never see her.
I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with Ferdinand on this one: a lot of older women do seem to develop sex drives which are almost male in proportion. I’ve long speculated there is some virilization process which happens to women with age; plain old testosterone levels could conceivably do it. There is also a certain amount of selection bias in it: I think a lot of women just give up on sex after 40, but the ones who don’t have really strong drives. Anyway, a couple of experiences: one was a 42 year old (through 44 or 45 or so) I saw while I was in my 20s. She had the body of a 22 year old porn star, and actually wore *me* out on a regular basis. There were a couple others like her. All claimed they were fairly chaste and nerdy in their 20s, but caught on fire in their 30s. Two of the ones I can think of converted to keto diets in their 30s, but that’s almost certainly selection bias (aka I don’t fuck fat chicks). I also went through a pre-Ashley Madison phase where I was boinking a lot of cheating housewives (Craigslist used to be fun). They all reported developing sex drives in their 30s their husbands were unable to deal with. Poor bastards were used to the once a week; once their hunny bunnies started developing laugh lines; they wanted it 3 times a day. Anyway, I’m so goddamned old now, women my own age (40) are old ladies.
The wretched harridan in those photos is completely unfuckable. Not even if you pumped me up with cocaine and viagra, and stuck virtual reality goggles on me which made her look like Scarlett O’hara.
“Honest people will admit that their sex life has become boring. In fact, many couples who do have sex after many years of marriage often do it, not because they find it pleasurable anymore, but because they feel it’s their duty to have sex.”
Listen, women who loved sex in their twenties will love it just as much in their thirties. Women who did not really enjoy sex in their twenties (and had ulterior motives for having sex) will not enjoy it in their thirties, either.
And yes some couples do have boring sex lives.
From what I have seen this comes about mainly after the birth of kids. The guy is still up for it but the woman is too caught up with the kids and tends to neglect hubby in that department.. Giving him the perfunctory *root, (*bonk) from time to just to get him off her back.(pun intended) ;)
Of course sex becomes boring under those circumstances..Not to mention that hubby feels frustrated and ignored because his wife seemingly has little left for him after spending most of her time dealing with the kids.
The situation I have described above does not usually happen if a woman truly enjoyed sex (and sometimes this can be hard to gauge, for the guy.. some women are bloody good actors) before she had kids..
Where there is a will there is a way. I have been married for fourteen years, now and the sex is still frequent and never boring.
Why is that?
Because I make it MY job to keep things fresh.. I send my husband suggestive text messages (and if he is working close by he will come home for half an hour or so) I sometimes whisper a few risque things in his ear whilst giving him a bit of a back rub when he comes home from work. I have on occasions dragged him off to the bedroom while the kids were otherwise occupied (one in the shower and the other watching a video for example)
Hey I’m an opportunist..
I find it kinda exciting, fun and challenging too, creating situations where hubby and I can be alone together.. Even if it’s only for ten minutes.. :)
Yes, if a woman really enjoys sex, she will create opportunities . It’s also one of the best ways to show hubby how much he is loved and cared for.
Too bad many women today have their priorities skewed..
To Kathy & Lupo. 1st to Kathy, while you’re right in that different women have different libidos, your claim that you & your husband have a sex life as good as when you 1st got married isn’t to be trusted & not credible. For 1 thing, it doesn’t matter how many text messages you have sent him. If your looks after 14 years of marriage have faded, he may not find you as attractive. If your looks have become too masculine (which for many women it happens as the years pass), then he won’t find you as sexually attractive as when you were 1st married. People who have good sex lives don’t need to post here & say their sex life is good.
Another reason Kathy why I don’t believe your sex life is as good as when you 1st got married is this, in 14 years, both you & your husband share the same bathroom. You & your husband have smelled eachother’s farts & dumps. My guess would be that because your husband has smelled your farts & realizes that you like him also fart & shit, it’ll diminish libido. This will happen whether you realize it or not so no, I don’t trust people when they say that their sex life is as good as when they 1st got married. The married couples who say that their sex life has become boring or that they don’t do it anymore because it’s not worth it are the honest 1s.
To Lupo, what you wrote can also be said for men, but that’s not a rise in sex drive & not a sexual peak. If a woman didn’t have much of a sex life when they were in their 20s (such as being in college & not having much time for a sex life) & have sex in their 30s after they’ve gotten married, then it’s not a rise in sex drive. It’s just doing what you didn’t do when your libido was higher. There are 20 something men who are virgins. You can say the same thing about 30 something men who were virgins in their 20s (have a friend who in 2007 was a 42 year old virgin so there are 40 year old virgins) but don’t have sex until they get married, which for men is usu. in their 30s. The 30 something married man who has sex isn’t in his ‘sexual peak’ for the same reason as the 30 something woman isn’t. Both people are just doing what they didn’t get a chance to do when they were younger.
As to the 40 something women who say that their sex drive is higher. Do they take libido enhancers, Botox or if in late 40s, H.R.T.? If these older women are using these products, which most of them do, then it’s not a sex drive incr. Using aging drugs to raise your attractiveness & libido isn’t a sexual peak. It’s no different than a 40 something man using Saw Palmetto, Ginseng & Viagra.
What Lupo also overlooks is that for women who say that their sex drive is greater in their 30s & 40s, way more women say their sex lives have gone down & their 30s & 40s & that sex frequency for most people goes down not up with age. The men & women who say that their sex drive is more in their 30s & 40s have a vested interest to say so. Again, it’s not a rise in sex drive. If you didn’t do something in your younger years but do it in your 30s & 40s, then it’s not because your sex drive went up, but because you’re doing what you missed out on in your higher libido years.
snowisfun, you crack me up mate.. You obviously have never been married.. Or… never mind..
Do you really think that I care whether you believe me or not?
What I say is common sense.. If a woman loves her husband she will want to F**k him. Over and over again.
Your nerdy verbose response is unconvincing!
To further debunk Lupo & Clarence’s myths of older women having higher sex drives, here’s what has been copied & pasted which proves women’s lidido goes down with age:
Females tend to experience a decline in their sexual response at around the time of menopause; this is when a woman ceases to ovulate each month.
Excitement Phase
There is less vasocongestion than in younger women.
Vaginal lubrication may take longer to occur and the amount of lubrication may be less than before.
The width and length of the vagina does not increase as much as in young women.
Plateau Phase
The orgasmic platform develops to a slightly lesser degree than in young women.
The elevation of the uterus occurs slightly less.
Orgasm Phase
There may be fewer muscle contractions during orgasm.
The uterine contractions that take place with orgasm may become painful.
Resolution Phase
This phase occurs more rapidly. Since older women have less vasocongestion than younger women, it takes less time to return to the normal unaroused state.
Kathy, the fact that you get defensive & make conclusions on some1 you don’t know makes you hard to believe. I don’t know you, but would you care if your husband is having sex with a 20 something woman? How do you know that this isn’t what he wants to do? This is asked because attractiveness is what matters. If you look too masculine & unattractive to him, he may lose interest in you sexually.
snowisfun… the fact that you get defensive & make conclusions on some1 you don’t know makes you hard to believe. ;)
Lol! I really do get a kick outta men who purport to know more about women’s orgasms than women themselves..
” The married couples who say that their sex life has become boring or that they don’t do it anymore because it’s not worth it are the honest 1s”
I love it!
If married couples say that they have a boring sex life they are telling the truth… If they say they are having great sex they are lying…?
Umm yeah… guess you would know… Being an expert and all! (stifles a snirtle)
That last post was mine.
Anonymous & Kathy, it’s human nature for people to say that they’re as good as something as when they’re younger. Perhaps they’re not deliberately lying & some may even believe this, but somewhere in their mind, they may realize that it’s untrue. It’s no different than a 40 something football player or boxer who thinks he is still as good as a boxer as when he was younger.
In the end, age wins & women’s sex drives plummet. Naveen Andrews consistently talked about how his cougar Barbara Hershey is prettier, knows what she wants sexually, etc. & again, Naveen Andrews was found to have fathered a woman a few years younger than him in 2005, which damages credibility. Putting Naveen Andrews aside, it would be fair to say that many of the men who are in cougar relationships would rather have sex with younger women & do so when the chance arises. It doesn’t surprise me when 20 something men who are in relationships with women old enough to be their moms are later found having sex with women who are 20 somethings. Attractiveness is the main thing & if a man doesn’t find a woman attractive, he may eventually lose interest in her sexually.
If Kathy has become more masculinized over the years, which is what happens to many women, then attractiveness will fade. As written, old men look like old men but the problem is that alot of old women look like old men too. Older women tend to have deeper voices, among other things. No, libido in women doesn’t plummet in their 30s as the 30s isn’t that old. HOWEVER, hormones don’t rise.
With older couples who still have sex, what must be asked is ‘do they have sex because they want to, or do they do it because they feel it’s their marital duty to do so ?’ IMV, it’s more of the latter. Younger couples who have sex will usu. say that they do it because the sex is fun. People in their late 30s & older may also say that they do it for fun, but it’s my view that they have sex because they think it’s their duty to do it, though the sex isn’t as pleasurable as it was when they were 1st married.
Ahh snowisfun… why anyone would have sex because it is their duty is an unrealistic notion..Real life is just not like that.. People have sex because they like it…Not for altruistic reasons.. Lol!
As a woman in her late thirties…I do enjoy sex as much as I did when I was in my twenties.. In fact I enjoy multiple orgasms now, something that I never exprienced with my first husband.
“but it’s my view that they have sex because they think it’s their duty to do it, though the sex isn’t as pleasurable as it was when they were 1st married”
Lol ..And your view is based on…?
Kathy, to address your points. Since you’re in your late 30s, it’s expected for you to say that you’re sex life is as good as it was when you were in your 20s, as it’s human nature. Unsure what your hormone levels are, but my guess would be that it would lower than when you were in your 20s. Yes, you would be more aware sexually, but again, that’s a mental awareness. As copied & pasted in my earlier post on elasticity & again no offense to you, but my guess would be the elasticity would be less. Unsure what you looked like when you were 20 years old & while you may still be attractive in your late 30s, if you post a picture of yourself when you’re 20 vs. how you look now, all things =, your photo of when you’re 20 something would be more attractive, esp. before the kids.
As far as why people have sex, unsure what your religious background or if you’re an athesit. No, people don’t have sex for altruistic reasons, but unsure why it’s surprising esp. if 1 is a Jewish, Christian or Muslim, as the 3 major world religions put sex as a marriage duty.
Personally if some1 has sex over & over, it has to become boring doing it with the same woman. The best sex is when a woman is in her 20s & before the kids. In fact as mentioned in my earlier post, after 35, a woman’s looks just fade from that point onwards. Since age eventually wins, things such as stretch marks, white hairs & the masculinization which happens to women as they age such as deeper voice will outweigh anything. Older people are more likely as known to have health issues as they age. Older women are more likely to have more weight & weight gain lowers libido & attractiveness.
It’s just that the forces or downs in life people have will almost always be stronger than the ups. John Travolta & Kelly Preston come to mind. Both of them had the tragedy of losing a son, which must have negatively impacted both of their libidos. Yes, Kelly Preston is pregnant & hopefully will have a healthy child who’ll live a happy life. However, it can be said that that couple with all that they’ve endured in life had sex eventhough their libidos went down & it wouldn’t surprise me if Kelly Preston used fertility treatments & libido enhancers.
Do you Kathy, use any artifiical products? Would you later in life as the years pass use libido enhancers or would you tolerate your husband fooling around with a younger woman if he tells you that he just doesn’t find you attractive anymore? Again, not writing this to insult you, but if it was you who wrote on Chuck Ross’s site that age eventually wins (as you’re writing the same things here & the woman on the site used the name Kathy), using menopausal treatments or age defying lotions can be regarded as trying to slow down the effects of aging.
Snowisfun:
If you truly read my comments in that thread you know I had several links. My last link was to a study that purported to show what you insist -despite other people telling you different- does not exist. Now it would be nice if you would critique the study I linked to, but since you don’t seem to be able to do so, perhaps you would be so kind as to tell people just what evidence it would take to potentially change y our mind on this matter? Is it even possible that you are wrong and that “baby rabies” and increased libido are real phenomena that are biologically based , or is it impossible that any opinion you currently hold could be wrong?
Mind you, it’s not that important a matter in the first place, but if one is going to argue one should do so in good faith as I, and the vast majority of commenters in that Spearhead thread did.
Clarence, the same thing you said about ‘baby fever’ also impacts teenagers & men. You’re implying that most women have the ‘baby rabies’ during the ages of 30 to 35, when most women don’t experience this @ that age, esp. if they already have serveral kids & your implication that it only strikes women nearing menopause. Teenage girls can get this too & quite a few of the teen pregnancies have been the result of ‘baby fever’. It wouldn’t surprise me if ‘baby fever’ is higher among 15 year old girls than it is among 35 year old women. The reason we hear about this more among 30 something women is because the latter often delays motherhood & want to mother kids before their fertility runs out.
Also, people usu. don’t say that a middle aged man who has delayed fatherhood & has baby rabies & wants to have sex in order to procreate is experiencing incr. libido. He is having sex not for sex’s pleasure which what libido is, but for a purpose, to procreate. A 30 something woman who doesn’t have a man in her life, but wants to have kids may indeed have 1 night stands until she gets pregnant. This is however NOT a libido rise. It’s having sex to achieve a goal which is pregnancy & if she finds out that she can’t mother any more kids because she is no longer fertile, her sexual activities usu. cease & she may say ‘I slept around for nothing!?’ This debunks the idea that her sex drive goes up. Having sex for sex’s pleasure is libido, having sex because your intent is to have kids isn’t a libido rise. You don’t need to have a high libido to have sex to procreate, esp. if you’re a woman.
Prostitutes have sex for money as do porn actresses. But it wouldn’t surprise me if many prostitutes & porn actresses libidos aren’t much higher than that of normal women. Having sex to get rich doesn’t need libido.
A minor mistake on my part. Yes, you do need libido in order to have sex, but you don’t need to have high sexual stamina in order to do it. Reading the blogs on ‘baby fever’, most women who get baby fever get it in their 20s & some even get it in their teens-teenage pregnancies. Clarence’s posts overlook the higher incidence of women getting baby fever in their 20s & teen pregnancies.
Women’s libido tends to go up during ovulation. Since 30 something women can mother kids, of course when 30 something women ovulate, their libidos will go up, but that’s no different than an 18 year old woman or 20 something woman ovulating. Again 30-35 year old women aren’t that old & thus will still have a decent sex drive, perhaps a little bit lower than in their 20s, but normal.
The bottom line is that women are more likely to have ‘baby fever’ in their 20s than they were in their 30s or 40s. The # of women who get baby fever in their 30s & 40s isn’t that high-we read about it because if a woman has delayed motherhood to pursue a profession, then when she does get married in her 30s or 40s, she’ll get this mainly because she didn’t have kids in her more fertile years.
Finally with health issues, older women like older men are more likely to have the same health issues expected to reduce men & women’s libidos. Diabetes, strokes, heart attacks, weight gain, etc. which are more common among people in their late 30s & older can reduce libido.
snowisfun. You are far too clinical for me…
Don’t care what you expect me to say..
Fact is.. I love my husband.. and I love sex..
” Diabetes, strokes, heart attacks, weight gain, etc. which are more common among people in their late 30s & older can reduce libido.”
You really are a know all who knows nothing..
Because I have kids I have a checkup every year.. I think that it is a responsible thing to do.
After recent tests my doctor told me that I am in extremely good physical condition. Low cholesterol levels good blood pressure etc..
I work out for an hour every day and eat good food… No surprises there..
I really am so sorry that all that you can do is quote text book stuff.
No real life experience..
I never had baby fever.. However, when I married my husband I wanted to give him what he always had wanted.. A child…
In other words, having a child meant nothing to me until I met my husband.
What you don’t seem to understand, is that I married my husband, because I loved him, wanted someone to share my life with, and wanted sex..
Because you are not in love and are not married you cannot understand this.
There is nothing more wonderful, for me as a woman, to have the man I love inside me. To feel his warm body on mine. His skin ..his smell..
To lay there with him, in the afterglow of making love… our bodies entwined..
Everytime we make love it cements our bond even more…
*****
“Do you Kathy, use any artifiical products?”
No.. I don’t
Would you later in life as the years pass use libido enhancers or would you tolerate your husband fooling around with a younger woman if he tells you that he just doesn’t find you attractive anymore?
You are too funny… I love my husband and he loves me. We have a family.. We are commited to one another… We have very similar libidos..
Not expecting my libido to take a nosedive anytime soon…… ;)
Sheesh that was me AGAIN, FB..Must be the gremlins.. :)
Anonymous, we don’t know you & Kathy (if you’re both the same person) & of course, you’ll say that your sex life is good. But sex is an act which may not be about love. If your husband doesn’t find you attractive anymore, it really doesn’t matter how much he loves you. My guess is that Naveen Andrews really does love his cougar Barbara Hershey, but why then in 2005 did he fool around with a woman a few years younger than him with whom he fathered a child? Perhaps it’s because the woman he fooled around with could give him what Barbara Hershey couldn’t give him & that’s sexual satisfaction.
There are other things which can reduce libido. Do you Kathy or Anonymous (if you’re both the same person) have mammograms or would you get 1? Just as hearing men talk about prostates gets tiring, my guess would be that if a man hears a woman talk about mammograms, then yes, he may lose sexual interest. While the cougar motto is ‘I’d rather be a babysitter than a caretaker’ the cougar motto really should be ‘I’d rather have a caretaker than be 1.’ It can be said that another reason a man loses interest sexually in his cougar is because of the cougar’s health issues the man may have to deal. Now older women sometimes say ‘health issues can happen @ any age.’ While’s that true, honestly, the older people get, the more likely the health issues that’ll happen.
There’s 1 thing that working out @ a gym & keeping 1 self in shape won’t stop & that’s menopause. Though Ryan O’Neal loved Farrah Fawcett, the main reason that Ryan O’Neal lost interest in Farrah Fawcett from a sexual standpoint-if Farrah Fawcett’s friend’s story is to be believed is menopause.
I really am losing patience with you snow is fun.
Sex may not be about love, for some. Particularly those that go through partners like they change their underwear. But for others love and sex go hand in hand.
Look, you seem to be confusing menopause with libido. I have a friend who has gone through menopause and she is in her late fifties. She still enjoys sex and achieves orgasm..
http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/menopauselibido.htm
In any case my own mother was nearly 60 when she went through menopause (as was her own mother) and I expect that it will be the same for me.
You need to be realistic, here.
We will all get old eventually..
Better to grow old with someone you love than to grow old alone.
A fifty year old man will not attract a 30 year old woman..unless of course he has money..So he is limited in his options.
The difference between you and me is, that I believe in love, commitment and loyalty.. and experience mind blowing sex with my hubby.. ;)
You believe that only the very young and promiscuous enjoy mind blowing sex.
So be it. Who am I to prick your bubble :D
Oh.. And I forgot to add.. FINI!
To your points Kathy, incl. addressing the website.
1. Yes it’s harder for a 50 year old man to get a 20 something woman as the 20 something men will have the advantange, incl. when it comes to looks. Yes, the man most likely will need money. Keep in mind that if an old man has charm, he’ll find 20 something women who are interested in him-for an old man to get a young woman w/o money, he has to have charm & be interesting to the young woman. It takes charm for an old ugly man to get a young pretty woman.
If an old man doesn’t have the charm to get the young women, he can pay an 18 to 29 year old prostitute to have sex with him who he can get from the Internet. There’s a Chinese proverb that with money you can buy sex but not love.
2. Read that website, but that website contradicts itself. 1st it says that it’s a myth about libido loss, but then they admit that libido loss is higher among women after menopause & they talk about selling lubricants to treat vaginal dryness.
3. Sex with a woman who has hit menopause for most men is dull as menopausal women usu. have become too masculine. Women who are menopausal often have a deeper voice. Libido loss among older women is 1 thing but another thing is attractiveness loss. The man may grow old with the woman, but he may not have sex with her. If he wants to have sex & he can’t form a relationship with a much younger woman, then he can pay a 20 year old prostitute.
Which gets to my point Kathy & again no offense. Would you care if after you hit menopause (presuming your still arond), if your husband fooled around with a younger woman either by his charm or if he doesn’t have the charm, by paying a 20 something prostitute. There’s nothing you can say which can change the fact that women 18-35 (esp. 20 something year old) year old women have higher libidos & are more attractive. Younger women are just prettier.
Kathy,
Copied & pasted an article here on libido loss in women. My comments are in capitals. Below:
‘One of the most irritating and embarrassing health problems is libido loss in women. It’s estimated that nearly 15 percent of women in America have this problem. Libido loss entails a difficulty in getting sexually aroused, remaining sexually aroused or reaching orgasm.
It affects many women from ages 18-59, but it’s treatable. IT CAN BE SAID THAT WOMEN OVER 35 YEARS OLD & OLDER MAKE UP THE MAJORITY OF THE 15% & IT WOULDN’T BE SURPRISING IF THE ACTUAL # IS HIGHER THAN 15%.
In medical terms, the condition is called hypoactive sexual desire syndrome. In order to learn how to treat a low libido, it’s important to understand what can cause it. Several factors can come into play that would bring about a low libido, both physical and psychological.
The physical causes of a lowered libido can be due to stress, diet or other factors. Women who are under a lot of stress tend to find themselves not able to focus on any form of sexual contact. Their brains aren’t wired to be sexual when there are other long-term issues at home or work to deal with.
Also, if there is illness or a poor diet, that can have a negative effect on the libido. In women, just like in men, the body shuts down the reproductive systems first when it needs to conserve resources for whatever reason. Menopause can also cause a loss of libido, because sexual desire is partially linked to reproductive ability. THIS ARTICLE STATES THAT MENOPAUSE CAN CAUSE LIBIDO LOSS, SO YES, MENOPAUSE CAN CAUSE A SEX DRIVE LOSS.
Psychologically, if a woman has poor body image, it’s possible that her libido will be lowered. Sex for women is more of a mental function than it is for men. In order for women to feel sexual arousal, they need to feel sexually desirable. If this isn’t the case, then it’s unlikely that libido will be either. Emotional relationships are important as well; it’s easier for a woman to feel desire for a person she has a steady, long-term relationship with because there’s an emotional connection to augment any physical sensation. SINCE OLDER WOMEN ARE USU. NOT AS ATTRACTIVE AS YOUNGER WOMEN & SINCE LIBIDO LOSS IS LINKED TO LOSS OF ATTRACTIVENESS, IT’S A FACT THAT OLDER WOMEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE LIBIDO LOSS BECAUSE OF ATTRACTIVENESS LOSS.
The causes for libido loss in women can be blamed on several things. Even though, a lot of women know the causes for libido loss in women they don’t know how to increase their libido. If you want to know how to fix it visit thebestfemalelibidoenhancer.info web site. IN OTHER WORDS, OLDER WOMEN NEED TO HAVE LIBIDO ENHANCERS JUST AS OLDER MEN NEED LIBIDO ENHANCERS SUCH AS VIAGRA.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Angie_Hairston
You know, snowisglum, after reading your long and dour missives I have come to the conclusion that what you REALLY need is a damn good root!! (no offence)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070930012847AAfQ0dB
Lady Raine could be “in the market” I reckon :)
Thanks Kathy for your thoughts. If I need to have sex (or a damn good root), it’ll be with a pretty young 20 something woman. No offense to you Kathy, but chances are, I would rather have had you in in your 20s than in 2010, when you’re in your late 30s approaching 40 with you having seen better days.
“If I need to have sex” ???? Says it all really, snow-no-cum
A healthy young guy would have sex on his mind every day.
“it’ll be with a pretty young 20 something woman”
Hey, even old guys like you can dream, no harm in that ;)
Thanks Kathy for your thoughts. Unsure what more to say other than if you put a 20 something woman to compete with a 40 something woman for desirability when it comes to men young & old, all things =, the 20 something woman will get most of the men. Finally, since in 2009 you’re in your late 30s, you’re also old too, though not as old as me.
If I am not as old as you than you most certainly can kiss your chances of having sex with a 20 something year old woman goodbye… Unless of course you pay for the privilege.
Young single women that I know just don’t want a man who is too old! More than ten years older is too old..
You may have read one of my earlier posts where I mentioned that a 19 year old young woman (a virgin) was infatuated with a good looking young Frenchman..
He really went all out to snare her… After long talks with her mother(they are very close) and spending a week in Bali with her family, she decided to end the relationship.
Her reason? He was too old for her..
Frenchy is 27..( Had a high paid job too)
I suspect also, from what her Mom said to me that she was also put off by his extensive experience with women..( He was a player, according to Mom..)
Thanks Kathy & admitted that the odds are against me. Unsure why you’re raising this. As mentioned in my past post, a man can buy sex from an 18 to 20 something prostitute. If I lack the charm to get a 20 something woman, I can always pay for sex with a 20 something woman & there are plenty out there, esp. since @ my age, I’m not interested in a serious relationship anymore. With that Frenchman, it’s hard to know all the reasons why the relationship ended. We don’t know what the man’s personality was like.
Money isn’t everything. If an old man has charm, he’ll find some women 18 to 20 something who are interested in him. Maybe not most, but sooner or later, he’ll find a young woman who is charmed by him. You can say the same thing about bald men. There are women who just won’t date or marry a bald man. But if a bald man has charm, he’ll get a 20 something woman. Sugar daddy relationships wouldn’t exist if there weren’t some 20 something women who are interested.
Money will only carry you so far. A sugar daddy may get young women to sleep with him. However, if he doesn’t have charm, his relationship won’t last. She’ll just take the money & run, but @least he’ll have some fun with her in terms of sex. If the old man has charm & is interesting, he’ll find true love with the young woman. Again, while most young women aren’t going to go for men old enough to be their dads or older, there will be some young women who’ll prefer the weaker old men over the strong & virile young men & the weak old man who is charming will get some young women. This will be repetitive but an old man can always pay an 18 to 20 something prostitute & thank God for prostitution:)
From what I have been reading, it must be true that there is some secret sinister ingredient in wedding cake that kills the female libido. ;).
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