More fun with internet video

by Ferdinand Bardamu on February 4, 2010

in Humor

Great unsolved mysteries of the universe:

What caused the Big Bang?

Is there life after death?

Why do Brazilian girls have such nice butts?

I don’t have an answer for any of these questions, but fans of fat phatties will appreciate this mini-documentary from VBS, “The Biggest Ass in Brazil” (possibly NSFW, if your boss has a problem with close-ups of a thong-clad booty):

It’s an interview with Brazilian dancer Andressa Soares, known as the “Watermelon Woman” for reasons you should be able to figure out. I’m a boobs-guy myself, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate an ample ass. You will too.

There’s at least one thing that Europeans indisputably do better than Americans – military advertising. Check out this commercial from the Österreichisches Bundesheer (that’s the Austrian Armed Forces for those of you who don’t speak-a the Deutsch) to see what I mean:

It’s a rip-off of this Ukrainian parody, but I actually think it’s a good idea in practice:

How does the U.S. military pitch itself to potential recruits? Appealing to their sense of honor and duty? Offering financial assistance with college and the like? Fuck that! The new slogan for the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines should be, “Join us, and hot girls will chase you all over the place!” I guarantee you that enlistment would skyrocket. Pretty sad that a glorified Russian vassal and the Mongolia of Europe have outpaced the most powerful empire in the world in this department. Oh, and based on those videos, Ukrainian girls > Austrian girls. Apologies to all two of my Austrian readers.

Hat tip for the videos: Carson Baumgartner.

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

1 z.g. February 4, 2010 at 6:15 am

Cant stop noticing. I want to stop but cant stop.

In the beginning it is clear that the Guido Schmidt is banging all four broads, they are all over him (assume sex), then the bigger better deal comes around, and the ladies run after the bigger better deal,

Now suddenly the Guido Schmidt is shown as a loser. (ok, he was shown a loser in the beginning also)…

The fact that women forget, it really does not matter if they left the Guido Schmidt… they already rode on the twin balled mini guido turret. (mini, as it is compared to that 40 tonned mechanical monster dildo)

Ladies.. You were all over him…

That, my ladies, is pretty much what matters.

Did the mini turret shoot in you or not.

If it did, shut the fuck up.

Am I clear?

2 Advocatus Diaboli February 4, 2010 at 8:58 am

Brazilian girls have nice asses because they have a peculiar mixture of Black, Mediterranean and Amerindian ancestry. Essentially they have a booty but on a much more slender frame. combine that with a nice mix of features and it looks very good.

3 Default User February 4, 2010 at 10:46 am

While the military advertisements may work to bring more recruits, I am not sure there is much to like about it.

On the surface, it points out what we all know: social dominance (tank beats sports car) counts for all, honor and character count for little (it was the tank not his “service” that won the girls attention). The ad merely reinforces these dysfunctional attitudes.

What is worse is the deeper assumption that a man must sacrifice for the attention of women. If he runs the risk of been dropped into the meat grinder of war then, maybe, he is “worthy” of female attention. It plays on the hopes and fears of young men (based on female attention) and reinforces the notion that men must suffer and sacrifice to be “worthy” of female attention.

If he is lucky enough to be on the winning side, if he is lucky enough to keep all his body parts, if he is luck enough to be unaffected by the horrors of war, then maybe he will benefit. After all, when the war ends women will do what they have always done: offer themselves to the victors.

4 Eumaios February 4, 2010 at 10:53 am

Rape and Pillage. Join the Army.

5 PA February 4, 2010 at 10:58 am

Austria and to a slightly lesser degree Ukraine advertise recruitment with a solid understanding that army recruits are extremely unlikely to see combat, save perhaps a volunteer-based peacekeeping mission somewhere. So their armed forces in essence are bidding for candidates to a poor-man’s frat of sorts.

In contrast, the US with its more robust engagements and Southern/rural culture and tradition of military service, appeals to boys’ sense of adventure and masculinity. As far as I can tell, recruiting numbers in the US are good, while Astrai and Uktraine likely are more desperate to fill their quotas, given Eastern Europe’s reputation for nasty living conditions in the military and Austria’s better economic opportunities.

6 TAllagash February 4, 2010 at 11:45 am

mmmmm. Soares makes my day every time I see her. thanks for that Ferdinand.

7 Trouble February 4, 2010 at 11:34 pm

The Brazilian woman was too manly for my taste. She was literally a brick-house. Agreed on the Ukranian women comment. I worked for an airline that had flights to Kiev. Drop dead gorgeous. Them and Czech women.

8 mindphaser February 5, 2010 at 12:35 am

Funny how Guido and the girls in the Austrian Vid did not look Austrian at all. They were probably all Balkan emigrants. Most Austrians look like Ahhnold, not Guido. Although the girls were pretty cute.

9 coldequation February 5, 2010 at 9:25 am

From what I hear, the reality of the army is that you live on a post with a bunch of guys where there are too few and too unattractive women to go around.

10 Clarence February 5, 2010 at 10:18 am

There are some other troublesome aspects of the commercials.

The guys in the tank/apc don’t own those pieces of equipment. They didn’t earn them, they merely serve as the human pieces to operate the governments vehicles. The women seem to to totally fall for the excitment of the vehicles not the men controlling those vehicles.

The “guidos” so to speak presumably made a success of themselves and purchased their vehicles. By being a success they payed more taxes which helped the government to purchase the vehicles that were used to steal their womens attention.

This doesn’t say much about women’s tastes , and it proves just one thing albeit not the message they intended to send

Never Trust The Government.

11 Jon February 5, 2010 at 11:59 pm

is it really possible that Austrian girls are so pig ugly and so FAT? I refuse to believe it! The prospect of those heffers draped all over me would be enough to keep me out of the Army even if I was of a mind to join.

12 Tarl February 5, 2010 at 11:59 pm

Do you have any idea how loud the feminazis would scream if the US military made a recruitment ad to the effect of “join and hot women will chase you”?

Do you have any idea how utterly scared the top brass of the US military is of the feminazis?

You won’t have to look very hard to find US military recruitment ads that indicate what a female-friendly institution the military is. I remember one a while back for female Navy pilots indicating that if you (a female) became a naval aviator, you would get to marry a male pilot, yaaaay! The only service that still stresses the masculine warrior virtues is the Marines.

It is truly pathetic.

13 SteveinTX February 6, 2010 at 8:12 am

O.K. it has been a couple of days and no one has answered this so:

>>>Great unsolved mysteries of the universe:

What caused the Big Bang?<<<

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away…
A feminist told the truth.

The cognitive dissonance was so overpowering that it ripped a hole in the space/time continuum.

14 j February 6, 2010 at 10:29 am

Fat assed German girls. Thanks, but not my type.

15 MTG721 February 6, 2010 at 10:08 am

I love big butts and I cannot lie. Women of mediterranean, latin and arabian heritage – with their long dark hair, pretty faces, tanned skin, wide hips and big booty drive me crazy. When the feminists take over I am fleeing to Brazil and will spend my days with my face buried in phat bronzed booty. However that particular girl (and the rest of the Creu dancers) are too muscular and mannish looking – too much exercise/weight lifting.

16 sofia February 6, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Ukrainian guys > Austrian guys. That was SRSLY hot & the video actually has me convinced, though I’ve always been a sucker for Eastern European men. Mmmm.

To be fair, those weren’t the best looking Austrian men or women though. I’m sure Germany Proper would have done a better job.

17 collegeboy February 6, 2010 at 5:48 pm

Andressa Soares does have a banging body, but I would rather prefer this other brazilian chick named Regiane Brunnquell AKA Sandy Capetinha.

NIce slim and trim with that backside. Thanks to the big biomechanic machine in the sky.

Shes the one in the devil suit and later on in some grey clothes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nRO0Ee8KsU

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