Yesterday, John Smith/TAllagash linked up a story from The Frisky (the poor woman’s Jezebel) on older American women seeking European men for long-term relationships and marriage. The primary complaints of both Amelia McDonell-Parry (the no-doubt very SWPL chick who wrote the post) and Irina Aleksander (who wrote the article for the New York Observer that McDonell-Parry based her post on) is that American men are “commitment-phobic” and “emotionally unavailable” – the usual whiny, self-centered crap. A couple of telling quotes:
The collective sigh that evening was in reference to the stubborn, New York man-child with his perpetual fear of marriage and confused (“I love you, now go awayâ€) approach to relationships. It is now an entrenched cultural truth: A desirable woman in her 30s could meet someone, date for a while, enter a relationship, spend Thanksgiving at her boyfriend’s parents’ house, rent an apartment together, adopt a pet, wash his skivvies for years and still: Long-term commitment is not guaranteed.
After all, there’s no way I’m the only 30-year-old who met a man, dated him for 4.5 years, spent countless holidays with his family, lived with him, adopted a dog with him, and did his laundry before being unceremoniously dumped (for someone younger and probably more willing to have anal sex).
A long long time ago, I recall reading a feminist somewhere on the Web write that going on a date with a girl (and paying) didn’t entitle a man to sex, or even to a kiss goodnight. Well ladies, the flip side of that truth is that getting banged stupid by a guy doesn’t entitle you to marriage (or any kind of relationship). It doesn’t even entitle you to a phone call back the next day. Gender parity is a bitch, bitches.
More to the point, these posts got me thinking. Everyone is familiar with the pattern that women in our hypergamous culture follow – they spend their prime, fertile years getting fucked left, right, up and down by alphas, and when they hit the big 3-0 and find themselves stretched out, aging, and alone, they settle for a near-virginal nice guy beta. But if girls of a certain age are now finding it difficult to get hitched, to the point where they now consider expating to find foreign men who DON’T know that they spent the better part of their lives as the town doorknob, this may signal that a change is in the air.
Extrapolating this from a couple of articles may seem far-fetched, but there’s sufficient empirical evidence to show that we’re witnessing a slow, steady shift in the sexual marketplace. Alphas are more often then not averse to marriage because they have so many options in women and subsequently zero incentive to exclusively commit to any one. But if betas, the safety school of the urban slut machine, are wising up to the fact that marrying one of their same-aged chick compadres is the sexual equivalent of paying full price for a busted Yugo, along with the mancession and the already-existing disincentives for men to marry, this spells doom for the marriage industry.
If marriage is indeed dying due to womens’ collective abuse of the institution, how will they react? Despite feminist fish and bicycle chanting, accepted wisdom shows that women are far more interested in marriage then men. If in fact more and more men are refusing to commit, how will women cope? Let’s take a look:
1)Â Shaming tactics. We already see the attempts by our cultural overlords to slander single men as “manboys” who are “afraid to grow up”, trying to guilt us guys into binding ourselves in chains. Unfortunately, women have overplayed this card to the point where its effectiveness is rapidly approaching zero. I remember once reading on an MGTOW site (I’ll source the quote if anyone can dig it up) that shaming language is like a scalpel, in that it is intended to be used in a surgical, precise manner, aiming right for vital spots. Modern women wield shaming language like a mallet, trying to beat down men with a tiny little knife. They’ve so abused shaming tactics that the blade has broken off, leaving them with nothing but a handle stained with their sweat.
2) Expatriating, like the articles recommend. Some individuals will do this, but it will never catch on for two primary reasons. One, women are the more parochial sex, less willing to date outside the tribe. Two, foreign men already think of American women as fucked-in-the-head harpies only good for pumping and dumping.
3) Legal coercion. This has historical precedent – during the waning years of the Roman Empire, taxes were levied on unmarried men in an attempt to get them to settle down. Bachelor taxes have been proposed and passed at various times in America’s history. In the most recent issue of Interesting Times, I predicted that feminists and social conservatives in Congress would join forces to try to pass a bachelor tax into law in the coming years. I don’t think such proposals will go through, but given that the two groups have pushed through anti-male legislation before, its not impossible. Unmarried men will likely react to a bachelor tax by leaving the country, renouncing their American citizenship, or by simply utilizing less-than-legal methods to hide their income from the IRS.
4)Â Girl game. Women will start learning tactics to rope their men into commitment. Unfortunately, on this topic most female writers have their heads rammed so far up their asses they can see daylight out the other end. And the problem with girl game is that its utility is much more limited than guy game. No amount of game can turn a wrinkled 36-year old into a tight-bodied teenager, a clap-infected slut into a virgin, or a monster from the black lagoon into a hottie. The sad reality of female sexual market value is that most of it is determined by factors that are either outside the woman’s control or the result of choices that can’t be reversed.
5) Wisdom. Younger women will witness the sorry state of their thirtysomething spinster sisters and begin pursuing commitment and marriage when they’re still at the peak of their value, averting a potential crisis and saving Western civilization in the process. They’ll also begin agitating for social reform that will make marriage a more viable option for men. Yeah right, and I’m a Canadian Mountie.
Not too long ago, Hestia asked what Marriage 3.0 would look like. (Pre-Sexual Revolution marriage was Marriage 1.0, while modern marriage is Marriage 2.0.) Frankly, the idea of a Marriage 3.0 is ludicrous, like the concept of trans-transhumanism. There will be no Marriage 3.0 because marriage as an institution is on its deathbed. Single ladies interested in settling down should be very, very concerned. Men can live without marriage – in fact, we’d be better off without it in many ways. As Obsidian is fond of saying, the biggest losers in the coming hell will be women, not men.
{ 76 comments… read them below or add one }
Another great piece with some cutting prose. Definitely a good idea to post less and bottle the lightning.
I’d quibble the girl game – it really does work but it involves lifestyle planning. Specifically, if a girl understands girl game aged 18 she knows that the time to husband hunt is when she’s 22 and knows how to (i) filter men between cads and dads (ii) accept the cads will not commit and thus don’t waste precious time on them (iii) compel a dad who is sexually attracted to commit.
Guy game will not let omegas bang supermodels but it will help them avoid cuckoldry and divorce-theft, while likely raising their sexual life from occasionally banging a UG1 to having successive LTRs with UG3s – like Roissy said, this is still equivalent to winning the lottery for the dude.
Girl game has a similar effect. An HB6 will never snag the alpha, but she can avoid being pumped and dumped through her 20s by higher betas, then spend her 30s eating ice cream alone with Sex and the City, then collecting cats until her lonely death. Instead she’ll learn to fuck the occasional lower alpha in her teens, then snag a husband when she’s 23 and have a genuinely fulfilling marriage to him.
Not just AW, but the WW are also screwed in the long run. Till that time comes tho, it will be hell for men.
1) Shaming tactics.
Shaming for what? I have had enough of shaming. Now I look at the girl and shrug it off, if I do not confront her directly, mostly with a smile, as there never comes a clever response. Never.
How can a woman shame me if I say “Marriage is a traditional bond between man and woman. I will only bond to a traditional woman.”
Especially here in the country of strong and independent women.
If you are independent, you do not need my bond.
2) Expatriating
Hahaha…
A shop owner was sitting and talking about the Arab tourists and how good they pay. Then the neighbor came and told him that a bus of WW has arrived. The guy’s reply, “Forget about the Arabs, tonight we are fucking”…
The best example of female stupidity is the parody about the american woman in italy, and the italian man who bangs an american woman in italy.
Very few men in the non-western countries are looking at WW as marriage material. Maybe passport material, but that is all.
3) Legal coercion
Taxation? What if men stop working?
This will end in men retreating even more to other forms of entertainment, and doing the bare minimum to get by. More and more I see men who value beer more than a woman.
Oh yea, that strong and independent woman has less value than beer for WM.
Oh, I know there are women out there who feel it is ok for men to be slaves for providing for women. I mean slaves, real slaves. Men have taken so much pain, but that is a line that will be dangerous to pass.
4) Girl game
Girl game?
What girl game?
They still dont know what they themselves are attracted to, and look at sex acts as “it just happened by magic”…
Girl game that tells women that the more men they fuck the more attractive they will be to other men? Pffffft.
5) Wisdom
Ask your dog to write a chapter of War and Peace. Has more chance of coming true. the wisdom of women was lost when they stopped listening to their grandma’s and aunts, and at the same time they started taking the pill.
Now, why will women be hit hardest?
Women are fish, fish needs no bicycle.
There was a time where women were female fish, and men were amphibians, carrying water to the pond, when they were not swimming with the fish.
But female fish did not let the majority of the amphibians into the pond, even though the amphibians still carried water to fill the pond.
After time though, amphibians learned that carrying water is bringning no gain, and in most cases has a detrimental effect on life, so slowly they started living their own life.
Some amphibians went on to climb trees, to do skydiving with the leaves, some left to other ponds, some started collecting rainwater to make mini ponds.
in the end amphibians evolved to live out of the pond while the fish believd the pond will be filled forever.
What wil it take?
10%?
20%?
A small number of amphibians choosing other life activities than filling the pond will end up in a dry/very small pond.
the swimming amphibians may survive out in the open, but the fish will be left out in the sun to dry.
There is an equivalent to going foreign for women, which is having sex with black guys who hang around Caribbean beach resorts. These relationships rarely lead to marriage however. A Western European man has no incentive to marry an American woman, and I don’t see American women going for men outside the EU, that is men with economic and immigration incentive to marry into a Western country.
I believe a slow drift down will continue, with no significant change. White women will gradually become more like black women, having more children while unmarried, living without men and being economically independent of them, or rather economically dependent on the government instead. White men will become more like black men, economically marginalized and having weak relationships due to lack of a consistent ability to provide.
Women will continue to complain a lot but they won’t do anything different or accept any responsibility.
About their tactics to save the dying patient:
1)Shaming. We are shamed anyways, so that bird is ignorable.
2)Expatriating. Foreign men aren’t stupid, they know that WW are cum-buckets, and they have more worthy women for marriage.
3)Legal coercion. Go away money of investors, we don’t want you! You too, private companies, go to China or Eastern Europe, we are too busy dissolving into a ghetto!
4)Girl game. That would requiere women in general to be logic and realistic, to dump all the Sex and the City/COSMO bullshit and settle for non-alpha men. In the same vein, it’s also possible that money start falling from the sky. You never know. (heh)
Unless male-oriented prenups (DNA test for parenthood included) are obligatory, there’s no reason for marriage. And we can’t be shamed for it anymore.
So is every other institution in our civilization, but marriage is declining the fastest. Once it falls down, the vacuum it creates will bring down the rest of the institutions from religion, to business, to the military.
Yeah, but how many guys truly know how to “bang a girl stupid”..?
There’s a lot of stupid girls, so there must be a good amount of guys that can.
Ferd, #5 made me laugh.
Thanks, I needed that.
This is what happens when ape-mind directives collide with the effects of technology in a society it was not optimized fot.
Essentially, a lot of feminine behavior is OK as long as we were hunter-gatherers in groups of 100-1000. It even worked as civilization grew, as long as there were some constraints on expressing the full grotesquery of the ape mind. Now.. well you know
Great article, FB.
I agree with Omega man. What we are seeing in the black community is simply going to slowly spread throughout the culture outside of the elite class. Brazil, here we come.
One other factor is that there are more older American women than men of the same age i.e. the sex ratio is low. The fact that men tend to date women younger than them – with women dating older men – means that older women are left with a double-whammy in regards to the dating scene.
They are left out in the cold. Basically, they slut it up during their 20s and wake up one day to find that there aren’t any men in their age range to get with. Not only are there no good men; there aren’t men period. If they want mates at all; they have to adopt to strategies to get them (expat, cougar, etc.)
Or they could go for older men — i.e., men in their late 30s and early 40s. The issue there is that most of these guys have “baggage” of some sort by then — either divorced, or long-term never married (so assumed to be commitophobes) or other things. So women in their early and mid 30s are often not thrilled about dating men in that age range.
I see legal coersion as not taking the form of taxation but of giving legal equivelency in marriage to other-than-marriage relationships.
Live with a woman for 6 months? Congratulations, the state now considers you married and grants her full legal protections as if you had the full ceremony.
The solution: Men will look for the statutory date when statutory marriage becomes effective and kick out the woman the week before.
The countersolution: Judges in family court will grant women so treated to “all the rights and priviledges” anyway. And women will not move out when required.
A child will still grant full marriage recognitions and protections without a statutory limit.
Isolation and male only society remain the only real protection against such legal coersion.
Stuff like that is already being kicked around, in terms of discussion, in the UK. I remember reading an article last year where some “expert” was saying that the law should be changed such that any two people who have a child together should be considered legally married, automatically.
A bachelor tax already exists. Look at your 1040 and you will note that there is a tax exemption for being married as well as having kids. I’m not sure how any additional “bachelor” tax could be added to the 1040. More likely, the exemptions would be increased.
As far as co-habitation being considered marriage, several Western countries already do this. France and Australia are two I think already have this policy. This will simply encourage men not to live with their girl friends. I’ve always considered co-habitation to be a bad idea, anyways. I always valued by freedom and autonomy too much to live together with any girlfriend.
The only time I ever lived with a girlfriend was when I moved in with the girl that I later married. I considered us to be married, for practical purposes, at the time anyways and we had already planned to get married at some point in the future. We married two years later and are still married 10 years later. Of course, she is Japanese and we live the life we want together. I don’t think I would be compatible with most American ladies.
I am with Novaseeker. We likely will see the Brazilian-ization of America happen, probably fairly rapidly.
This is, after all, what women want. They ought to get it.
After all, most Black women and White British Chav women are perfectly happy with their lives. They like it. Women prefer to have lots of Alpha sex and then kids on their own. Marriage after all is merely about a wedding. They can thrown themselves a special party any time (ala Muriel’s Wedding).
You got to admire the determination of those still try to sell men on marriage: Marriage: A Good Investment for Guys
Poster Puma (who many here might also know) made the point that only “still married” men were considered – everyone knows that divorced men are worse off post-marriage than their still-married counter-parts.
Another point, as Novaseeker has frequently noted, is that marriage (Marriage 2.0) is increasingly concentrated amongst those in higher socio-economic brackets, thus one would expect to see a trend in “still married” men being better off than their unmarried counter-parts.
The data behind the story are entirely meaningless WRT the way it is being used to hype marriage. Unfortunately, there are still too many impressionable young men who might not read past the headline, nor understand the irrelevance even if they do.
Best post I read in months. Dead on.
Quite a number of men from Arab countries as well as India and Pakistan marry white American women. There are several blogs detailing couples’ lives on the internet. I will say that those men, in general, are more gentlemanly and emotionally sensitive than many white or black American men. They are also a million times less jaded due to their overall inexperience with women in general, coming from conservative cultures that do not approve of “dating”.
They also take their duties as husbands and fathers EXTREMELY seriously.
They know how to love from their hearts and are not afraid to show it.
The women they are with really appreciate that.
Americans, both men and women, are so jaded that I think many of us have become INCAPABLE of truly loving.
Unless an American man is particularly sweet and kind hearted, I wouldn’t recommend ANY woman marry him.
Same goes for the women.
We’re all lucky to possess American passports, which can get us into practically any country on the planet quite easily. One word: travel.
For those of us that can’t – if you’re a white woman, check out the local Hindu temple, Sikh gurudwar, Muslim mosque or Eastern Orthodox church in your area.
For white American men there’s still the Phillipines and Thailand. Hang around your local East Asian grocery store.
I think white on white American marriage is for the most part useless. Both partners are coming from a completely broken culture. Most are the products of divorce and have grown up witnessing both their single moms and single dads trying to score p*ssy or d*ck.
Pathetic.
So what do you guys have against “Cosmo”…we offer some insightful social commentary, as in this video posting;
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/news/road-to-knoxville-sluts#comments
HILARIOUS!
I think one of your own has already answered with what will probably resolve this issue, and other social issues, once and for all:
http://www.antifeministtech.info/2009/06/anti-aging-technology/
If we no longer age (and consequently have less need for reproduction), would that not make much of marriage and family issues superfluous?
Anti-aging tech is coming, but again it will be an elite thing. Once lifespans start to diverge based on personal economical wherewithal, one can truly say that all bets are off politically.
Who GIVES a fuck how women react?! I surely don’t! Life is good without a bitch in it…
I see no reason to believe that anti-aging tech will be anymore elite than, say, laptop computers and cell phones. “Car” phones were actually quite the status symbol when they came out in the mid 80′s. 20 years later, they were the preferred method of communication by meth-heads, and the cell phones used by the meth-heads in 2005 were far superior than the car phones used by the “elites” in 1985.
Why would it be different for anti-aging tech?
I see no reason to believe that anti-aging tech will be anymore elite than, say, laptop computers and cell phones.
What do you mean by “all bets being off politically?”
It’s going to be very, very expensive for a while when it is released. That will create haves and have-nots — where having not is not like not having a cell phone. It means rich people will be able to buy longer lives. That is a political game changer. The elites will have difficulty holding power if they are monopolizing (due to economic access) access to a technology which prolongs life. Either the tech will be socialized relatively quickly, or there will be massive political chaos. People don’t really care much about a new tech toy — they *do* care a lot if rich people are literally buying life extensions that the masses do not have access to. Even if the disparity “only” exists for 20 years, that means an entire generation or two of have nots are being fucked. I just don’t see it. That technology will be politically disruptive one way or the other, because the one thing everyone cares about is how long they live.
Why do you think anti-aging tech will be so expensive?
Do you think the government will try to suppress it to avoid political chaos? If so, would this just create another black market (in addition to the ones we have for marijuana, cocaine, etc.)?
I don’t see how anti-aging tech will change anything in the dating or mating scene. Alphas and betas will still be alphas and betas, of either sex, they will just look like a younger version of themselves for a longer period of time.
Because it can be. You’re basically selling a tech/med fountain of youth. The most desirable product ever made. Of course it’s going to be expensive, because whoever patents it can sell it for a ton of money. Look at the blockbuster drugs. Are they cheap? No, they’re not. When you have a patent on something that people really, really, really want, it’s going to be expensively priced.
I don’t expect it will be capable of being suppressed — it will be very expensive though. Will the government make insurance companies pay for treatments? If not, there will be hell to pay that some rich guy is extending his life just because he is rich, while most people are excluded.
It will make it easier for them to go out and do stuff other than playing the dating game (outdoor sports, travel, etc.). Also, neither men nor women will loose their youthful attractiveness, thus eliminating the necessity for “settling”.
“Because it can be. You’re basically selling a tech/med fountain of youth. The most desirable product ever made. Of course it’s going to be expensive, because whoever patents it can sell it for a ton of money.”
Then it will be expensive for precisely 17 years, after which it will be dirt cheap. If this 17 year period is politically contentious, expect some serious patent busting.
I think its as likely to be cheap as expensive. Take Resveratrol, for example. It is not clear if Resveratrol will extend life (some papers I’ve read say it will, others say it will not). However, 60 Minutes and other media outlets have certainly talked about it as an anti-aging compound. Expensive? Not at all. I buy mine from LEF (www.lef.org).
The other reason why I do not expect it to be expensive is because it will not be just one therapy, but several competing therapies and the competition will drive down cost/price rather quickly.
Yeah but, the attractive people will look young and attractive longer, but the unattractive people will just look young and unattractive longer. I don’t see it changing the dating/mating scene.
Also, unless one is leading a really happy and satisfying life, why would they want to live beyond 80 or 90 years anyway?
If our lives were extended to say, 120 years, I bet we would see a lot more suicides around the 100 mark.
“I don’t see it changing the dating/mating scene.”
It will eliminate the fear of growing old. This is certainly a very, very positive change. One should be able to live life free of time constraints. Also, whats the big deal about dating anyways? Go hang out on the beaches of S.E. Asia or go diving in the Maldives. What about mountain climbing in the Pacific Northwest or paragliding in Arizona? There are lots of thing one can do rather than obsess over the dating game. Besides, you meet more interesting women doing these activities than hanging out in bars anyways. There’s more to life than just slogging one’s dick.
“Also, unless one is leading a really happy and satisfying life, why would they want to live beyond 80 or 90 years anyway? If our lives were extended to say, 120 years, I bet we would see a lot more suicides around the 100 mark.”
A happy life is what you make of it.
Its possible that many people will choose to live to, say, 120, where you grow old and die in the last 5-10 years. I can see a lot of people opting for this. Now, supposedly Resveratrol is supposed to “square the curve” in this fashion. I have no idea if it will, but I figure its worth trying. So, I take it. Ask me in 50 years if it works or not.
BTW, some of us are going for 1,000. How about you?
Well, if I become a bodhisattva and can aid in humanity’s enlightenment, then sure, I wouldn’t mind to live til 1,000. However, if the only enlightenment I aid is my own, I’ll be happy to leave once it’s reached.
Any results as far as energy burst or mental clarity from Resveratrol yet?
I have traveled overseas on many occasions. On almost every one of these occasions, a very nice, educated, and refined foreign lady has asked me to marry her. I would have married the same, IF I could afford to live in their home country.
Marriage in the USA, in my opinion, is a form of economic, social, and cultural slavery for men. Therefore, at least in the USA, men should avoid marriage. Many American men have avoided marriage in the USA for the same reason.
Surveys have demonstrated that American women seek out men whom they can dominate for marriage and that they tend to stay married to men whom they dominate.
I’m not that type of man which explains why American women are not interested in me.
Women in their 30s who have lived alone so long openly admit that they don’t want to get married just because they would have to readjust the life they have grown so accustomed to. So I don’t think women will respond negatively, on the whole, to this dying institution.
”Surveys have demonstrated that American women seek out men whom they can dominate for marriage and that they tend to stay married to men whom they dominate.”
This flies in the face of “game” theory which says women are only attracted to dominant men and will only stay faithful to men who are dominant, which is not something I’ve seen played out IRL either.
Surveys have demonstrated that American women seek out men whom they can dominate for marriage and that they tend to stay married to men whom they dominate.
Not from what I have seen, as they can easily divorce such men and retain their financial support in the form of child alimony. Many divorces happen when women just lose respect for their husbands, because this kills female attraction for men, and it’s finished –> and they retain the financial support anyway, while they pursue other men. A win/win for women, and a lose/lose for men.
rather economically dependent on the government instead
That’s weird part of direct government support. It can free a woman from dating a beta male, but she still lives in that crappy neighbourhood raising kids. The women that are generally the bane of the existence of the men in this group arguably are recipients of indirect aid, since living off welfare and breeding kids doesn’t exactly pay for the grand and glorious Sex in the City lifestyle.
White men will become more like black men
I’d argue that high IQ staves off that problem. Single black men of average black IQ are fundamentally useless to the global economy, and have little to no economic value. Single white men in contrast have legitimate economic value due to their higher average IQ.
Of course, for some reason, people in the MRAspace seem to think that banging an aging 5 and spending your life’s worth on her is something worth celebrating. Even if she doesn’t cheat on you, she’s haggard looking and thin at 20 and at 40 she’ll be miserable looking and useless.
Brazil, here we come.
Be careful, there’s a certain blogger foaming about his travels as an ex-pat in Brazil…
“A long long time ago, I recall reading a feminist somewhere on the Web write that going on a date with a girl (and paying) didn’t entitle him to sex, or that it didn’t even entitle him to a kiss goodnight”
That would probably be amptoons (Alas, A Blog).
I wrote on that, my post was summarily erased and dismissed (it’s the one where the immediate reply is: Look at all these cute kitties!).
One of the ways females cope with these problems of their own making is to deny the problem exists, and that you are “bringing them down” when you need to be “fun fun fun”.
I quit the puppetshow when I decided to be a human being.
One thing that will make anti-aging tech available to the masses quicker is insurance. Insurance companies could save a boatload of money by not having to pay for diseases caused by aging. That is a strong incentive for insurance to pay for anti-aging tech. Plus, there’s the potential for side benefits such as a cure for cancer from anti-aging tech so that would create additional incentives to bring it to the masses faster since there are multiple vectors for the research paying off quicker.
For starters the longer you live you will have more time with your house paid off and the ability to invest. With just time your assets will grow and grow making you incredibly rich. Plus, if you really think about it you can come up with stuff that takes more than a lifetime to do. I certainly have.
Yes. I have asked the question of how many men get married because of being afraid of being alone when they’re old or not having someone to look after them when they have dementia and can’t look after themselves anymore. Of course, marriage (and/or kids) does not guarantee a solution to this. IOW, men will have even less reason to get married.
Also, its important to remember anti-aging tech only has an effect on aging and its related diseases. You can still get killed walking out of the anti-aging clinic being run over by a car, for example. Anti-aging tech does mean women could continue to slut it up for a lot longer or even indefinitely. However, imagine the STDs they would acquire. Even if none of those STDs killed them, many STDs are painful. Imagine having painful STDs for a much longer life.
Do you think the majority of single, childless women in the US have motherly instincts and want to have kids?
They seek emotionally unavailable men because they have the idea that the more relationships the men have been able to get, the more the man is worth “getting”. They reinforce the harem mentality, and then make the next guy they’re with pay relationship compensation for their previous crappy choices. When I told this to my parents they were shocked and couldn’t believe it. Until they had corroborative proof from family friends also overseas.
They’re now very open to me having a relationship with a younger lady who has no baggage. People need to seek their equals, relationship- and morals- wise.
Great post Ferdinand. It seems like this is hot topic at the moment so interesting to consider as a girl who has been trying to “figure things out” for a little while now (and isn’t too concerned… yet):
The example about a woman who was with a guy for years only to be unceremoniously dumped for a younger model, is a common theme I see in many GirlGame media out there. (And to plug without shame: please go vote on http://girlgame.wordpress.com for the mainstream women’s self-help book/magazine you’d like to see deconstructed.)
Post-feminist confusion with the timeless female concern of being dumped when you’re less-desirable has confused what works *best* to keep a man’s complete commitment in the long-run.
It makes sense for a girl to not give a man all of her “goodies” until he has committed to her, right? “Why buy the cow when the milk is free” argument?
Many women are taking the advice that’s phrased as “be hard to conquer” TOTALLY THE WRONG WAY. The good advice is more about making wise choices, not just following the g* tingles, and being a true partner to your husband.
Not about quick fixes by making him freak out by making him jealous, or doing push-and-pull, etc.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how women can incentivize marriage today. I think there are ways to do it… I’ve seen it done. Kim Kardashian and Eva Longoria are quite a bit older than their “MVP” pro-athlete catches. They did it… and they are not only spectacularly gorgeous, they are very charming and have a lot of fame power.
Incentives like those enable a man to commit… I’m still trying to figure this out, but that’s my start so far. Good night for now, look forward to reading more.
What’s “charming” about Kardashian? Also, if you think either of these relationships are going to last longer than 4 years, you are delusional.
Liberal BS,
In answer to your question, yes I have noticed benefits from Resveratrol. However, I have also been doing another thing called chelation (using Alpha Lipoic Acid), for removing Mercury from my body. So, I do not know if the benefits I am receiving is due to the Resveratrol, the ALA chelation, or a synergistic combination of both. I suspect the latter.
“A desirable woman in her 30s”
Oxymoron
“A desirable woman in her 30sâ€
“Oxymoron”
Not necessarily. I first met my wife when we were both in our early 30′s and she was (and still is) very desirable. Of course, she is Japanese and as we all know, Asian women often look younger longer than the women of other races.
Eva Longoria may be pleasant to be around, but Kim Kardashian gives off the impression of being completely superficial and likely demanding as well. She does not appeal to me at all.
“The general contention around this ’sphere is that the biggest reason certain women hate and fear game is because it allows men to turn the traditional alpha-beta-omega hierarchy of sexual attractiveness on its head. ”
Were still waiting to see ANY beta or omega American dude turn ANYTHING on it’s head (or his).
hee hee
“After all, most Black women and White British Chav women are perfectly happy with their lives. They like it. Women prefer to have lots of Alpha sex and then kids on their own. Marriage after all is merely about a wedding. They can thrown themselves a special party any time (ala Muriel’s Wedding).”
__
Sounds an awful lot like “Lady” Cumstain -
[...] Oh, no. I never loved him nor was I in love with him. I forced myself to stay with him because I was trying to convince myself that I liked LTR’s so I was determined to “go down with the shipâ€
But then I realized I was right and LTR’s really do suck, came to my senses and was out! That’s why it was no big deal to leave him for me, because I secretly loathed him for most of our LTR. [...]
&
[...] (I have been “in love†with 2 people and neither of them were my son’s father. He was sort of the snake eyes in the roll of my life at the time). [...]
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/08/07/july-2009-beta-of-the-month/#comment-117592
*Oh, what happened to our wonderful Western Civilization??
I think you are leaving out a very important factor: Along with our liberation, more and more women have no desire or necessity for marriage. The idea of marriage abhors me–I see it as the absolute death of my happiness and all that is good in my life.
I think many men would be surprised to know how many women are turned off by the idea of marriage, and the number is growing exponentiall. More often than not, the women who do want to get married are women who are insecure and needy–emotionally or financially.
The fly in your ointment is that along with our power, we don’t want to marry you either. The times are definitely changing–more than you know. Conventional marriage is already obsolete in many areas of the world–like Denmark. And I feel sorry for any young girl who marries a man who only wants her for her youth, because by the time she is 30, she will still be stretched out–from having the man’s kids–only to have him leave her for someone else. But, in this case she’ll have no job skills or friends–no life outside of her marriage.
Most women can see through “advice” like this and see it for the threat from a scared and insecure man that it is. Fail.
“I think you are leaving out a very important factor: Along with our liberation, more and more women have no desire or necessity for marriage. The idea of marriage abhors me–I see it as the absolute death of my happiness and all that is good in my life.”
_____
Mmm hmm.
~
The ego epidemic and how more and more of us have an inflated sense of our own fabulousness | Mail Online
“Us women are more egocentric and narcissistic than we ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.
“More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are.
“We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are so preoccupied with ourselves.”
[...]
“Am I making you angry by telling you this? It figures. Narcissistic or egotistical women do have an overwhelming sense of entitlement and arrogance.
“Of course, I joke, but researchers say there is growing evidence of an epidemic of ego-itis everywhere.
“Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are ‘special’.”
[...]
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html
I fail to see the connection. Not wanting to get married does not equal delusion or arrogance (for women OR men). I’m merely stating a fact – a growing fact – that more and more women have no use or desire for marriage, and that I understand this fact personally.
It’s amusing to me that anything which denotes power, indepence, happiness and health, and security for women is arrogant… But stating that the only way for a woman to be happy is to marry a man at 23 is accepted as logical.
I don’t think I’m any better than a man – I see both genders as equal, with fewer restraints and more power for women making it so.
My comment is being moderated?
Marriage is increasingly becoming obsolete in the United States. It’s just promoted in the culture or seen as neccessary. Women always have their networks of girlfriends to bond with, for men though, I guess they fear being lonely and sick in their old age with no one to care for them.
There’s always private home healthcare if you can afford it.
Lindsey@
One word.
Eugenics.
I think that you are informed by a well meaning and optimistic, but naive appraisal of the politics surrounding technological development.
Nothing occurs in a political or ideological void, project funding, investment, and patronage for the development of new technologies all have reasons behind them that extends beyond mere pecuniary motives. Money is a tool, wealth and money are not exactly the same thing, power and control in most cases are what one seeks through money.
Any technology with great capacity to level social boundaries on a global scale is a profound threat to any established order’s chief beneficiaries.
Any technology you enjoy that has leveled the playing field in your life is an accidental results, the chief benefit of that technology were enjoyed long before you got your hands on it.
Longevity is light-years beyond a laptop computer in its ability to socially level. The earth has a finite amount of resources and space, granted I don’t buy a good deal of the hyperbole regarding overpopulation and sustainability, frankly the earth *can* (whether you or I would want it to is a different matter) physically support billions more than are alive today.
However this would pose certain challenges to … comfortable social and political organization.
As it stands today the ability to outlive and out-thrive your enemies is an advantage, demography and public health matters, in other words, and it is utterly naive to not pay attention to this simple fact. There is no reason to assume that life extension technologies would be available to the public at large, or even the middle classes, because this represents true wealth. it would be like someone handing you a check for a billion dollars just like that, no if you will want access to this tech you will have to pay for it, in pounds of flesh.
Anyone who invests in, and funds, such technology is going to have a vested interest in making sure that its beneficiaries are those they see as the right people to have lingering around for 8 or 9 decades with them.
If you have an enemy who has access to extreme longevity, then such a one can and will bring to bear collective wisdom, experiences, skills, and decades of bitterness, against you – “Opfor” suddenly becomes a real strategic bone in your side for 9 or 10 decades.
Look into the biographical backgrounds of most of the early transhumanists and you will notice that there were elitists to the core. many explicitly wrote about their disdain for not only the working classes but the middle classes, and many explicitly desired a scenario similar to the novel Brave New World. Julian Huxley, for example, the man who coined the term trans-humanist was an elitist to the core.
Longevity has the capacity of leveling the playing field more profound than anything you can imagine, and perhaps you are not old enough to realize it but laptop computers and cell phones WERE elite technologies for 10years before they became adopted by the upper reaches of the non affluent. And almost another decade before they became commodities.
There has to be people out there who remember how expensive cell phones and portable computers were from the early 80s up to 93. Hell, anyone over 33 should remember some of this..
Maybe this has already been posted, so I apologize if I am repeating it here. But there seems to be some assumption that foreign men would want an AW or WW. Very doubtful. As women get older they get less obnoxious and cockier because they have to be nice to rope in the useful idiotic, er i mean to say ‘husband’.
But with today’s Global Village of internet, and TV the fact is that the reputation of the garden variety American female is that of a walking STD incubator and brainless dumbfuck. All one need do is see Girls Gone Wild and the plethora of other programs and sources showcasing the current state of affairs with today’s worthless piece-of-shit Ameriskank.
Added to the fact that although women get needy as they get older, men on the other hand do not. In fact as men grow older they would prefer to either be alone or hang out with their friends. There is an entire generation of washed up ‘modern’ women who are doomed to be growing old with a cat and a vibrator, staring out their windows wondering why Prince Charming didn’t come rescue them, never, ever once considering the reason was because of their choices and behaviors in life they made when they were in their 20′s.
I think marriage is desirable for those who want to have kids. However, I think it an unnecessary and obsolete institution for those who have no desire to have kids. If marriage goes the way of the dodo bird, it is no big deal. There are many other ways to find fulfillment in life (outdoor sports, hobbies, international travel) other than getting married or even getting laid. This whole issue is a non-problem.
Kamal S.
You are 100% wrong about life extension. Much of the research is being done in an “open-source” manner. Also, it is the transhumanists who are financing and conducting this research themselves (as there is no public money available for this research). So, if anyone has control over this technology, it will be us transhumanists ourselves who control this technology. It certainly is not going to be anyone else.
I am well aware that computers and cell phones were elite technologies in the past. By competition and technological progress made them cheap. There is absolutely no reason to believe the same thing will not happen with life extension.
Lindsey,
I am not trying to be patronizing, but I think that you are coming from a vantage point that is very optimistic, and yet very naive.
And you do not address the differential between the power altering significance of life-extension technology as opposed to cell phones. Cell phones are toys compared the potentialities latent in the development of advanced life extension technologies. Life-extension alters the game in ways that most consumer technology couldn’t possibly match.
Anyway, apart from the fact that it took about 2 decades for market forces to lower prices on mobile cell phones sufficiently that they spread widely in non elite markets, given that cell phones make handy tracking devices and are easily modifiable by anyone who knows how to make handy audio monitoring devices (some models have monitoring mode capacity built in – in other words, they are manufacturered to potentially serve as a bug), one could make a serious argument regarding the possibility of cell phones potentially serving the needs of a power-elite quite well.
Hell firmware hackers and organized criminals can use them towards these ends, much less than any sort of reified power elite. If I were grand-poohbah of my own banana republic I’d make damn sure that carrying cell phones was mandatory. it would let me easily keep tabs on my subjects.
:-)
Of course, as in all things, time will tell.
You know, maybe I am wrong and you are right, though I wouldn’t bet on it, it is possible. And perhaps I am right, and you are wrong. Either way it will be a decade or two before either of us know for sure.
Since life extension technology is a recent matter, and trans-humanism itself only about 40 some odd years old, it remains to be seen how things will resolve. I hope that you are right and I am wrong.
Driveby said:
“There is an entire generation of washed up ‘modern’ women who are doomed to be growing old with a cat and a vibrator, staring out their windows wondering why Prince Charming didn’t come rescue them, never, ever once considering the reason was because of their choices and behaviors in life they made when they were in their 20’s.”
Well put, they made their bed, now they can sleep in it! American women spend their youth dating and screwing with “thugs” and “badboys.” When they hit their late 30′s and early 40′s, they realize they made a mistake and now they have a hard time finding any guys to date or marry.
glad my link/post provided fodder for a better worded post. :)
I AGREE WITH YOU 100 PERCENT! Marriage only benefits women. It only burdens men! Women are the ones who file for divorce 75 percent of the time. Who wants to take a chance on being financially raped and ruined for the rest of their lives by some bitch who does nothing but nag you and is never happy no matter what you do. MEN: Never get married! Live with them but NEVER marry them. They are just trying to suck you into a situation in which you can NEVER win, only lose your freedom and LOTS OF MONEY! It’s better to pay for sex than to marry for sex.
How is Amelia McDonell-Parry in a position to shame anyone, especially after advocating the RAPE OF MINORS in her “21 guys we’re ashamed to say we’d screw” article? No wonder her fiance dumped her.
Find out about Amelia’s article on The Frisky that advocates the RAPE OF MINORS: http://goo.gl/aGiG
There is a feminist myth and dogma in our society that marriage 1.0 was mere oppression and superstition. Instead, it was the centuries-long working out of the implications of our modern dilemma, problems which we had forgotten but are re-learning. The Darwinian fact is that a society that does not work out the problems of its own perpetuation is doomed to die out. Massive numbers of unwanted, unsupported, poor, fatherless children eat a society from within. Or low birth rates due to birth control or infanticide destroy it slowly but surely. Marriage 1.0 was the solution to this dilemma.
What we are seeing is common primate social behavior for females. All primate females have a “familiarity contempt” instinct. The degree to which this instinct is suppressed or brazenly embraced depends entirely on how much shelter, protection, and food is readily available in the tree branches.
There are 3 types of primate males. Aplha, Beta, and Gamma. Alpha and beta males cooperate in social groups along with females….lead by the alpha. Gamma males are loners or outsiders who drift around the fringes of social groups. Female primates tend to develop contempt for the Alpha and beta males they are most familiar with but find the novelty of a strange gamma male almost irresistible. Primate males often change their status… with alpha/beta up and deciding to become gammas…they will leave their social group and start drifting. Gammas will sometimes join a social group and become a alpha/beta.
The degree to which females and Gamma males are successful at having encounters depends upon how dependent the females are to the Alpha/beta pack to protect them and help provide food for them. The less need a female primate has for the alpha/beta pack or the less fear she has of them…the more likely she will be to seek a novelty encounter with a Gamma. Also, if the aplha/beta pack is in a strong position within the social group they will do a better job of keeping the Gamma males away.
Gorillas, being some of the more specialized of the primates have an almost comlete alpha male dominated social order in which all other males are basically forced to be gammas…since Gorilla alpha males to not cooperate with would-be beta males like other primate alpha males do.
So in translation. today our western primate social group has a lot of readily available shelter, protection, and food in the tree branches. Thus, the females are free to act on the contempt they feel for males most familiar to them. It is a good time to be a gamma male. When all the alpha/beta males give up and decide to become gamma…our civilzation will collapse, and then we will soon find that there will not be any more shelter, protection, or food readily found in the tree branches.
A major reason men do not want to marry is because they have witnessed their fathers, brothers and other male friends get ripped off by the discriminatory judicial system which punishes men.
Men get saddled with financial obligations, frequently unfair while women get to make all the decisions. Divorced men lose their children even when the ex wife is the abuser and/or the drunk or druggie.
anything that hurts white females is great with me; they deserve all the suffering they get. For half a century, they diminished and denigrated men; now the dumb cunts can’t figure out why men don’t want them. After seeing good men destroyed by toxic women in a gynocentric legal system, only a fool would ever marry – and it really is only the fools who do marry. South American women, Southeast Asian women and even eastern european women are going to win the procreation sweepstakes whilst the fat, whiney, sociopathic (and jewified) north american white female slowly dies out – thank goodness.
The writer of this article seems like a bitter man who can’t get a date. But, beyond that, here’s the real deal: More women are going to college than men. There are more women entering the professional workforce than men. Within the next 10 years, women will be the economic powerhouses and primary breadwinners. It will be men that will be desparately seeking women for security & marriage. Unable to compete in the job market, unable to anchor themselves emotionally, men with be seeking protection from women. Women will have the option of choosing a man or choosing to have children on their own. Men are the “new ball and chain”. For futher details on this trend, see The Atlantic article for July/August “The End of Men, How Women Are Taking Control–of Eveything”
“After all, there’s no way I’m the only 30-year-old who met a man, dated him for 4.5 years, spent countless holidays with his family, lived with him, adopted a dog with him, and did his laundry before being unceremoniously dumped (for someone younger and probably more willing to have anal sex).”
Out of curiosity, what would advice to this woman be ? She was say 25.5 and got into a LTR with this guy. Probably unlikely to be a carousel rider? (I know a few girls like this and in all cases, they have low partner counts). There’s quite a lot of 30 year olds like this, after all that was one of the stereotypes in the He’s not that into you book.
What should she have done? Not had sex before marriage? Not moved in with the guy? Got married before the age of 25 to a beta? (Though I think in this living together situation the guy would be a beta, an alpha would be spreading his seed wider). Or is it the other way and she should have been having more sex, particularly anal?
Please note this is a really open question, I just put in some examples.
@stevden – great comment; I’ve always disliked the PUA definition of ‘alpha’, as the losers and thugs who get so many women in today’s society can in no way be defined as ‘classical alphas’, the men who built civilisation through their leadership of other men. The definition of gamma you gave seems spot on when compared to what we see today – losers, criminals, thugs, and various other misfits are the ones being chosen by women and the label ‘gamma’ seems infinitely more apt.
@me hahahaha great satire… wait, you really believe that shit? feminists love the idea that civilisation can exist without men, but they are dead wrong. Civilisation is actually a bizzare emergent property that came about for our species when the natural female sex drive was forcibly restrained by monogamous patriarchy. Why do you suppose that proto-indo-european culture with its patriarchal framework came into being at the exact same moment as recorded history? Only a fool or a feminist would deny the link.
@Lily my guess is she was 30 when she met him and is now 35 and over the cliff. Life’s a bitch sometimes ;-)
Lily, the advice for this girl is to marry a beta while she is in their sexual prime. When the beta is young and impressionable, when he is a loser in the dating market, she can become her girlfriend, and he would thank God for this. Try to marry the beta before three years of relationship. Don’t spend years and years. Try to have kids early: about one year after marriage.
But, when you are a 25 y.o. female, it is hard to settle for a beta when you have more exciting alphas trying to hit you. And women often think a lesser alpha is a beta. When the lesser alpha gets older, he dumps her for a younger model.
It is hard for women, I know. But, hey, this is what you wanted. You believed that the patriarchy was oppressing you by forbidding all this sexual freedom. You demanded sex liberation and right to slut yourselves. So you have it. You have all the sex you wanted. You have all the careers you wanted. So be happy, be independent, be strong and be lonely.
Lily, the advice for this girl is to marry a beta while she is in her sexual prime. When the beta is young and impressionable, when he is a loser in the dating market, she can become her girlfriend, and he would thank God for this. Try to marry the beta before three years of relationship. Don’t spend years and years. Try to have kids early: about one year after marriage.
But, when you are a 25 y.o. female, it is hard to settle for a beta when you have more exciting alphas trying to hit you. And women often think a lesser alpha is a beta. When the lesser alpha gets older, he dumps her for a younger model.
It is hard for women, I know. But, hey, this is what you wanted. You believed that the patriarchy was oppressing you by forbidding all this sexual freedom. You demanded sex liberation and right to slut yourselves. So you have it. You have all the sex you wanted. You have all the careers you wanted. So be happy, be independent, be strong and be lonely.
The basic summary of this story is that sterile (whether by choice or delay or whatever) women are in effect boys with sometimes bigger tits, and then the hetero dating scene becomes very similar to the common stereotype of the homo dating scene: if all that matters is sex, all that happens is just casual flings and open relationships, and the hottest get laid a lot. The vagina is the new ass (and not viceversa).
The women who want to get married aren’t the ones who pushed the laws to make them wretched for men. The women who want to get married just went along for the ride – and now they’re surprised men want nothing to do with them.
They were feckless.
The bad girls were the ones who wanted to end marriage completely. They’re gloating now.
When they’re 80 and they have no grandchildren – and no-one else does, either, and their governments’ publications and tax forms are no longer in English – they’ll still be heckling and self-assured.
Demographics rules everything: Economics, policy, power and production.
We forget that at our peril.
There is one more option I would add to your list:
6) Sexual Fluidity: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Why-Women-Are-Leaving-Men-for-Lesbian-Relationships-Bisexuality
A new paradigm for the aging spinster is to conveniently “discover” that she has in fact “been a lesbian all along”.
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