In Syracuse, there’s a brand new radio station calling itself CNY Talk Radio and billing itself as “the new alternative for talk.” The station takes that “alternative” part very seriously. For instance, instead of having a website like every other ordinary business in the year 2009, CNY Talk Radio has a Twitter page! Not only that, instead of having boring commercials, the station airs cool, informative PSAs! While on my Christmas vacation, I got to listen to a lot of radio while I was driving about, and I want to share with you the unique wisdom that can only be gained from listening to PSAs that radio stations air when they can’t get paid advertisers. Sit back and prepare to have your brains blown out of your skulls.
If you want to encourage kids to read, tell them that you can make new friends from opening a book. Yes, you can apparently talk to and establish relationship with fictional characters as expressed through ink printed on a stack of dead trees. And they’ll buy this, because as you all know, kids are too fucking stupid to know when they’re being condescended to.
You should be worried about your child being diagnosed with autism, because one out of every 165 150 children has it. That’s right – two-thirds of one percent of all kids are on the spectrum. Fear!
White children are born racists. Your little boy or girl may seem tolerant and loving, but behind that naive smile is the heart of a stone-cold bigot. Don’t believe me? Take your daughter to work and watch as she points out that your co-workers have differently colored skin and funny accents, traits that the residents of your white flight suburban neighborhood don’t have. On the other hand, you can use this opportunity to educate her about the limitless joys of diversity.
Inner-city high school dropout black youths are huge fans of news/talk radio. Why else would all those PSAs that encourage kids to stay in school, delivered in ebonics and played with cool hip-hop music, be played during the Laura Ingraham show?
Don’t go drunk driving this month, because you’re all but guaranteed to get busted. After all, cops are cracking down coast to coast this month. They were also cracking down last month, and the month before that, and the month before that too. Apparently, there has never ever been a month in recorded history when the cops WEREN’T “cracking down.”
Speaking of which, buzzed driving is drunk driving. It doesn’t matter if you only had a couple of drinks and are within the legal blood alcohol limit, BUZZED DRIVING IS DRUNK DRIVING MOTHERFUCKER.
See, what did I tell you! Public service announcements tell the unvarnished truth about the world, more so then your pathetic little blogs. Sadly, Santa Claus brought me a replacement CD player for my car, so I won’t be able to experience these paid-for nuggets of honesty again for a long, long time. *sniff*
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PSAs is where I learned that smoking is evil and we only have 24 hours to save the planet.
White children are born racists. Your little boy or girl may seem tolerant and loving, but behind that naive smile is the heart of a stone-cold bigot.
This knowledge is actually very comforting to me! It means the government’s lying propaganda isn’t going to take, no matter how many “sensitivity” struggle sessions they force our kids to attend.
And don’t forget that living United is not just a t-shirt. My local talk Am station is the same way. All PSA’s all the time. I found myself listening to NPR to avoid the condescending government aproved and Ad council funded blather. I have a theory that radio stations are forced to air a certain number of minutes of these and that the company that owns this station is using it to dump the PSAs from its other more profitable FM stations. You can be sure that the PSA’s are not paying anywhere near the same rates as Snapple.
War Is Peace!
Wouldn’t it be great if there were PSAs that told the truth? Hey, kids:
- Racial differences in ability are at least 50% innate
- The most sacred scriptures of Islam contain direct commandments for Muslims to enslave, forcibly convert, or kill all non-Muslims until Islam has conquered the entire world
- Girls don’t like “nice guys,” they like socially dominant men, and you can become one
The more you know…
What about the millions of children in the United States that are going hungry? Don’t for get them.
A new series.. if you are interested.
____________________________
Modern Ponzi Schemes: An Introduction
http://dissention.wordpress.com/2009/12/30/modern-ponzi-schemes-an-introduction/
Don’t know about you, but I would hate people that cause me to have to attend boring as shit seminaires when I’m blamed of all evils in the world.
Professor Hale:
I know for a fact that all radio stations are required to air a certain number of PSAs per day. I don’t think they can be transferred between stations owned by a single company. If a station is airing nothing BUT PSAs, particularly during the times of the day that radio has the greatest number of listeners (morning & afternoon drive), that means that that particular station doesn’t have any advertisers.
I should mention that CNY Talk Radio is so badly run it doesn’t have any local talk shows, news, traffic, or weather either. Just syndicated shows and PSAs. That’s a formula for success!
This concept has some interesting potential (rubs hands with evil smile).
http://news.slashdot.org/story/09/12/30/1559214/The-Rise-of-Machine-Written-Journalism
“Thomson Reuters, the world’s largest news agency, has started moving down this path, courtesy of an intriguing product with the nondescript name NewsScope, a machine-readable news service designed for financial institutions that make their money from automated, event-driven trading. The latest iteration of NewsScope ‘scans and automatically extracts critical pieces of information’ from US corporate press releases, eliminating the ‘manual processes’ that have traditionally kept so many financial journalists in gainful employment.”
“a station is airing nothing BUT PSAs, particularly during the times of the day that radio has the greatest number of listeners (morning & afternoon drive), that means that that particular station doesn’t have any advertisers.”
College radio.
Those are the best.
“Breast feed your baby. For SIX MONTHS.”
A five year old saying,”Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water.” (Asthma is BAD)
“Do you know who your child is talking to on the internet?”
Oh wow, Ferdinand Bardamoo, I appreciate how I’ve automatically become your friend/fan/admirer. Your blogroll is the myspace of the blogosphere. Cool.
(Ok, this post sounded way more sarcastic than I intended. If it means anything, I automatically became your fan after reading this post).
*comment.
Mandy! XD:
Any blogger who reads/links to/comments on my blog gets prime blogroll real estate right there. Also known as: Rule 1.
I don’t remember linking to or commenting on your blog until after you linked me. Wiley individual, trying to get more (well-earned) readers.
And oh dear, The Rules. I’ve read them. Rule 5 brings a whole new meaning to “Tits or GTFO.”
Mandy! XD:
O RLY?
http://www.inmalafide.com/2009/12/23/when-white-knights-attack/#comment-8876
That was last week. I linked you this week.
I must have amnesia. I’m sry. :(
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