Over the weekend, J. DeVoy of The Legal Satyricon linked my recent post on sexbots and brought up a dimension of the debate I hadn’t considered:
Men with the current equivalent of sexbots, Real Dolls, are typecast as moribund losers incapable of human interaction.
In contrast, women broadcast their sexuality and are rewarded for doing so.  For some women, advertising their sexual appetite through their conspicuous ownership and use of various devices may be an effective mating strategy.  And surely every heterosexual male has become acquainted with the shrieking misery thrill of his wife, girlfriend or significant other’s sex toy party escapades.
Can anyone envision a modern America where men celebrate their sexual preferences and genitalia as freely as women do?
To answer DeVoy’s question, we’ll see an “America where men celebrate their sexual preferences and genitalia as freely as women do” around roughly the same time that we see an America where women can sleep around without reputation-related repercussions. In other words, never.
The masturbation double standard is one of the many double standards that are unopposed by feminists or anyone else because they work in womens’ favor. Men who turn their man-cranks are regarded as losers, and those who buy sex toys for private gratification are viewed as weirdos and perverts. As DeVoy points out, though, women who pleasure themselves are lauded for owning their sexuality. I remember, back in college, passing by the women’s womyn’s center’s kiosk in the student union and seeing a flyer posted urging passing girls to grab a vibrator and go to town, complete with a pink dildo. TLS commenter blueollie also brings up another example of how women are rewarded for flaunting their sexuality:
My wife won a part in “Vagina Monologues†where middle aged women congratulate themselves because the can say V A G I N A out loud.
This isn’t an aberration of modern culture – Western civilization has historically policed men for going outside the bounds of acceptable sexual expression more severely then women. One of the now-discredited medical rationales for male circumcision in the U.S. and other Anglosphere countries was as a way to discourage boys from masturbating. Karen Ericksen Paige writes:
In the United States, the current medical rationale for circumcision developed after the operation was in wide practice. The original reason for the surgical removal of the foreskin, or prepuce, was to control “masturbatory insanity” – the range of mental disorders that people believed were caused by the “polluting” practice of “self-abuse.”
Masturbation had been regarded as a religious sin since Biblical times, but in the 18th Century science took over. Onania, or the Heinous Sin of Self-Pollution, And All Its Frightful Consequences, in Both Sexes, Considered was published in 19 editions and sold 38,000 copies before 1750. Masturbation, the book said, was not only a religious sin but a medical problem that caused physical and mental disease. A few years later Samuel Tissot, a Swiss doctor, took the exclusively medical view, arguing that the unnatural loss of semen weakened mind and body and led to masturbatory insanity.
By the end of the 1930s, about three fourths of the middle-class families in the United States were having their sons circumcised, compared to one fourth of lower-class families. (I estimate these percentages from hospital statistics on ward and private patients.) As more and more women from all social classes began to enter hospitals to give birth, circumcision made its way across class and ethnic lines.
By the 1950s the great majority of baby boys, from rich and poor families alike, were routinely circumcised in hospitals. One study of the records of 18 hospitals across the nation revealed that 83 percent of the 14,116 male infants born in 1973 had been circumcised. Among the births financed by a California medical program during the first quarter of 1976, 87 percent of the males were circumcised.
Paige also notes that while female circumcision was also practiced at the same time for the same reasons, it never became as popular as male circumcision.
Additionally, while male homosexuality was heavily prosecuted throughout Western history, female homosexuality never received the same treatment. In his essay “Why Lesbians Aren’t Gay,” Steve Sailer noted that lesbianism was perfectly legal in both Victorian England and Nazi Germany. In her paper “Rethinking women’s sexual orientation: An interdisciplinary, relationship-focused approach” (hat tip: Chuck), Anne Peplau reported on the proliferation of “Boston marriages” in late 1800′s New England. “Boston marriages” were arrangements in which two women lived together independently, and while not all of these relationships were homosexual in nature, some of them were.
The question is, why have non-heterosexual intercourse expressions of male sexuality been more strictly forbidden then the ones of female sexuality? I’m open to alternate explanations, but my theory is that the stigma and prosecution of male masturbation and homosexuality was a way of ensuring that men remained invested in society. By channeling men into heterosexual monogamy, civilizational stability and defense was assured. A man with a wife and kids is a man who is ready and willing to uphold the social order.
In this sense, the removal of incentives for men to marry and procreate and the creation of a “gay culture” that exists independently of the heterosexual world go hand in hand in the decline of marriage. For men, masturbation is in a sense the last taboo, the only thing we can be made to feel ashamed about. Christopher L. Jorgenson, another commenter from The Legal Satyricon, weighs in:
And I don’t think it was the sad looking men in that documentary that made the having sex with dolls creepy. First, have you looked at the Real Dolls? I’m not going anywhere near one. Second, they are having sex with a doll! Ok, maybe that last part is just bad marketing, but it still weirds me out.
There’s also the problem of toy options. A woman can buy a vibrator or dildo. A man gets the option of a “pocket pussy,†which sounds serial-killer wrong to me. I just am not going anywhere near such a thing.
This is how sexbots will change the face of the sexual marketplace. It’s been said before, but uninvested men are perfectly happy with letting their civilization collapse around their feet. When every beta/omega dweeboid who can’t get a lay to save his life can have sex with a robot that looks, walks, talks, and smells like a real girl, the last stigma will collapse. The anti-male forces in power – feminists, social conservatives, and other assorted manginas and Renfields – will likely mobilize to fight this, but the Luddites of every era are inevitably doomed to defeat. The march of progress is halted by neither man nor woman.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
The question is, why is male sexuality so much more tightly controlled then female sexuality?
Honestly, the idea that society has always been more restrictive of male sexuality than female is crazy. Just for starters, people kept a much closer watch on what their daughters did than their sons.
You also forgot to mention all the dick celebration in culture from Archilochos to Rochester and Robbie Burns to contemporary rappers.
Damn it Ferdinand, I was supposed to get some work done today and then I came over here and read this. You had to go and make me think.
Thursday:
Crap, forgot to qualify. Perhaps the question should have been “Why have non-heterosexual intercourse expressions of male sexuality been more strictly forbidden then the ones of female sexuality?”
My points vis a vis masturbation and homosexuality still stand.
Ferdinand,
thanks for the link; i think you meant 19th century rather than 1900s though in reference to Boston marriages.
I think the whole idea of erotic plasticity does have some explanatory power. One hypothesis goes that men are more rigid in their sexual orientation because they have a stronger sex drive as compelled by their evolutionary nature. Any journey from the path of staunch heterosexuality is viewed more negatively than a woman’s trapse into bisexuality or lesbianism. Women’s sex drive isn’t quite so strong so it would make sense that it is less strongly tied to heterosexual behavior.
As far as the spread of female dildo parties and the cultural acceptance of female masturbation: this is an interesting topic. Personally, I believe that it is a spillover from the Sexual Revolution. Also, men achieve status in the eyes of other men and women by obtaining sexual conquest. Women don’t garner status by sleeping around so it is perfectly kosher for them to talk about their masturbation habits. A man’s status is partly wrapped up in his ability to have sex with women; admitting that he has to resort to masturbation (even though we all know that every other man does it) is an open admission that he is somewhat of a loser. It’s just part of the dominance/submission profile of men and women.
Anyway, I think that women have kind of started coming back around to accepting their more muted sexual natures. This may be a completely subjective observation, but I sense that women are less outwardly slutty than they were 6 or 7 years ago. They are more modest. For some reason, I think of the 1990s as the peak of the Sexual Revolution. I’d be interested in your thoughts on this observation since we’re about the same age.
Chuck:
Damn, lots of mistakes today. Maybe I should start writing these posts during daylight hours.
I don’t buy it. I have seen the outward behavior of women become more reserved since the 90′s, but that doesn’t mean that the Sexual Revolution has peaked. It just means that women have realized that they can’t advertise their sluttiness and expect to be rewarded for it. Agnostic has a good report here:
http://akinokure.blogspot.com/2008/07/ive-already-shown-that-young-peoples.html
A man with a wife and kids is a man who is ready and willing to uphold the social order.
Given that PlayStations are not free and sexbots will not be free, I don’t see why single men would be unwilling to uphold the social order. The social order is what makes allows one to live a comfortable existence, and it’s rather silly to flush down running water, advanced healthcare, and consistent electricity in some sort of attempt to screw the system. If there’s a gun to my head, I’d rather die to maintain the status quo than to let it crumble. I’ve opted out of the market for women, but I still require a functional society to maintain my independence from women with my hobbies and possessions.
admitting that he has to resort to masturbation (even though we all know that every other man does it) is an open admission that he is somewhat of a loser.
As a useless anecdote, my non-date complains about my porn addiction from time to time, and she begs me to go out to find a girlfriend. Is having an porn addiction an insult to lower rung girls who have trouble competing on the markets? I can’t think of any logical reason as to why she’d nag me about my habits when she’s chasing alphas at the club…
All restraints on sexuality are designed to do one thing: Cause men to invest in children, and thus the society.
All sexual restraints on women (chastity, the burqa, slut shaming) are designed to increase male paternity certainty.
All sexual restraints on men (taboos on masturbation, exhortations to provide for children, banning of homosexuality) are designed to cause men to only have a sexual outlet if they are willing to invest their resources in women and children.
This is also why children are given the father’s name. The mother will invest in it anyways because she knows it is hers, the father will only do so only if he believes it is his
David Alexander:
And that is precisely why your opinion on this matter doesn’t matter. You’re an outlier. Embrace it.
And that is precisely why your opinion on this matter doesn’t matter. You’re an outlier. Embrace it.
Given the topic at hand, I think my opinion does carry some weight. There’s a sizable segment of the male population with little or no game that’s watching the female population chase after alpha males of varying degree. While some have alleged that these men are going to revolt and cause the entire system to collapse, I’ve generally argued that these men are just as attached to the system as the women and alphas, and they’ll lose with its collapse as well. Opting out of women doesn’t mean opting out of society in all cases, and opting out of women allows males who aren’t blessed with game to make the most of society.
Embrace it.
For what it’s worth, I’m slowly embracing what will increasingly become a solitary future spent ogling guidettes and masturbating to porn.
http://www.jihadwatch.org/2009/12/woman-sold-in-public-auction-in-pakistan.html
The alternative to sexbots.
The alternative to sexbots.
Porn stars look better. Civilization makes women look better unless you’re into that awful natural look.
The reasons is that men and women are evolutionary opposites, therefore equal is opposite and opposite is equal. Promiscuous men are valued while promiscuous women are devalued, virginal women are valued while virginal men are devalued. IOW, there is an opposite and equal standard, not a double and unequal standard.
Chastity, masturbation and homosexuality, etc are seen as omega behaviors in men – ie a low ranking virginal male who “can’t get laid” is forced to turn to unsavory and perverse options. Whereas women can always get laid so it’s seen as more of a choice, ie. sexually adventurous, with no risk of pregnancy.
In an evolutionary sense the sluts and spinsters are the equivalents of the omega male , because they are low value women who cannot gain access to male resources (via committed love relationships) and omega males are men who cannot gain access to female resources (via sexual relationships).
The sexual revolution – sparked by biotechnical innovations (birth control, safe abortions) – divorced women from sexual consequences and changed the dynamic of female virgins being valued and sluts being devalued. Women are now superhumans free of the natural biological punishment (pregnancy) of promiscuity, and this has led to cultural movements (new leftism, feminism, consumerism) to free them of the corresponding social punishment, which led to men wanting a piece of the action (free love, porn, game, player culture). All of which has dramatically driven up the demand for sluts and thus their value, which is why they are the social superstars of our era.
“Yesterday’s sluts are today’s empowered woman and today’s sluts are celebrities.” – Dr. House
right at the end i was thinking about how no movement can fight progress esp in technology…then you worded it more articulately.
i just had a strange vision like in the Animatrix of real dolls being shot and burned by protesters and some real doll afficionadoes crying and weeping as they burn.
As Scott Adams of “Dilbert: fame said: The holodeck will be humanities last invention.
“Given the topic at hand, I think my opinion does carry some weight. There’s a sizable segment of the male population with little or no game that’s watching the female population chase after alpha males of varying degree. While some have alleged that these men are going to revolt and cause the entire system to collapse, I’ve generally argued that these men are just as attached to the system as the women and alphas, and they’ll lose with its collapse as well. Opting out of women doesn’t mean opting out of society in all cases, and opting out of women allows males who aren’t blessed with game to make the most of society.”
Da, not all men can replace their primary biological imperative with x-box and pornography. I dunno if it’s low sex drive or depression, but your ability to be completely resigned and comfortable without having the opposite sex present in your life is a unique trait. While not having women in your life might not cause you personally to be un-invested in the fate of your society, for most men it will. How else would you explain the Sodinis and Chos or the matriarchal ghettos emerging in the western world? (black America, British White Underclass, those Hawaiian fuckers etc.) What about the explosion in popularity game is experiencing? Most men are pissed off at being sexually disenfranchised, I don’t think you can speak for every one of them when you say you’re fine with playstation and pornography.
“Is having an porn addiction an insult to lower rung girls who have trouble competing on the markets?”
It could be that she just doesn’t want you to damage yourself in that way, because you can get accustomed to having an orgasm only by masturbation (and through porn viewing, specifically). She may just want you to try it other alternatives so that if you do ever decide to have sex (even if it’s just sex with no-strings-attached), you can actually come with another person. It’s easy to say she’s threatened somehow, but you can’t assume that until you actually talk to her. I know I’m not as sensitive down there as I once was, and I don’t know if it’s the porn/masturbation, or some other medical condition that hasn’t been identified yet (I don’t go to the doctor often). So there is a danger and you can you grow too accustomed to it, if you go too long without a partner. Even if you don’t desire a partner, it’s worth it to try different methods once in a while, rather than sticking with one familiar pattern throughout your life.
It could just be she’s seen other guys damage themselves through that, and she doesn’t want that to happen to you. Technically speaking, if you’re ‘happy’ with your lifestyle (because some women do place more importance on emotions), and she sees that, there shouldn’t be any reason why she’s bugging you to get a girlfriend. It may seem like she’s just threatened by something, but I’ve read a few articles (don’t remember the name, but one them was one about bachelorhood in New York), and sometimes it really IS the girl not wanting a guy to get to the point where he will only come by stroking himself off. She may be chasing alphas, but she also be genuinely concerned about you, and if those guys are having the same troubles she *thinks* you may be developing (because it happens), she may be giving them the same advice she’s giving you – to lay off the porn. Doesn’t mean you’ll actually do it, but she may have reason for suggesting it. She can’t actually know how well they perform until she hits the bedroom, after all.
She could also just be wanting to see you happy with someone as a couple, since many women see that as the standard for happiness (that’s a whole other issue, but it is a prevalent idea.). Reading through that topic on The Spearhead, I’m surprised by how many bad women there are out there (although I’m disturbed by some of the reactions on the part of the men there – I certainly wouldn’t let these guys near my mom and female friends. >_>) But there are some good women out there, and she may just be wanting you to find someone to be happy with.
Of course, she *could* be jealous of the porn or threatened by it somehow, but that’s something you have to ask her, if you dare. ;D If she sees that you’re happy as you are, she shouldn’t press the issue. She may not believe you’re happy, or she may not understand what you see in it. Or she may not want you damage yourself physically with too much masturbation and not enough varied human contact. There could be a whole boatload of reasons for this behavior! >_> You have to find out for yourself, because every woman is different, just as every guy is different, and what’s going on in one’s head may not be what’s going on in another. Some women are very upset by porn, others don’t mind it at all, and some have very mixed reactions to it. Even if they’re not your girlfriend! O_O So yeah, I’d check that out if I were you. Just to understand what she’s actually thinking. Don’t come blaming me if it goes horribly wrong, though. ;)
“ I mean— She stopped. I didnt hear your car. The entire San Sebastian swindle. I mean, by what standard? He did not smile and he did not answer. No principles have ever had any effect on society. Its the truth that you want, isnt it? The sincerity of his voice was genuine.
She couldnt hear over the roar of energy to tell if she made a sound. His hands came over her eyes, which wouldnt see then the black truly took over. Unfortunately, that included using Eyrhaen as a lodestone, both for Herself and for Her people. She recognized that particular position from prior matches and knew it wasnt one easily broken. Fingers digging into his hips, she pushed herself away from him. His palm smoothed over her forehead, gently smoothing her hair back from her face. If youre tired, perhaps we should rearrange for another time with Hyle and Gala. He only shrugged when she glanced down at the wet spot on his trousers. She clung to him, wordless in the flood of emotion that took her. The entire time youve lived among us, Ive been jealous of you. She felt more than saw Tykir at her side. Did you mean what you said before? She arched her back as best she could and screamed. What shed done before had only amplified it. It sparked the flame, and she dropped to scream into the mattress. She shivered at the feel of liquid warmth oozing out of her. Barefoot and topless, she felt more naked than she had in a long time. Irin had been beside herself with the news. I fell in love with you when I was only a shadow in the darkness. Radin, please, she rasped, pushing into him, unable to get close enough.
Grateful, he wrapped his arms around his friend and buried his face in his neck. Ill assume by your current state that the compulsion to rut overtook you as well? Not body and soul. Arkir grabbed for Lanthan and managed to keep his hold as the smaller man twisted. She clutched him, snatched at her thoughts like fireflies flitting about her.
the writing is not
half-bad,
stirring
even.
also just noticed the post’s are always two days apart. hmm.