Speaking of LTRs and game, Epoxytocin No. 87 left an awesome comment on this Roissy post yesterday:
Speaking from LTR-land, I also feel compelled to point out one HUGE oversight/incongruity on the part of just about everyone in this community. Namely, the way a lot of people around here view relationships is reciprocal to the way many Western women view marriage.
Specifically:
Lots of women see marriage as a situation in which men must provide X, Y, and Z, but they may or may not provide A, B, and C and sometimes even feel resentful when they do.
That sucks, of course, but a lot of the men here have the same attitude: that a woman in a relationship must provide sex, sweetness, domesticity, etc., but that they may or may not cultivate their Game. On top of this, many men here are deeply resentful of the necessity of Game in a long-term relationshipGuess what folks.
It’s a two-way street.
HER obligations include being your personal slut; filling your stomach with regular (if not necessarily daily) food that you like; being responsible with resources; showing you respect; and making your home a pleasant sanctuary to which you want to return.
YOUR obligations, in return, include turning her into and keeping her as your personal slut; guiding her and keeping her actions and attitude in line without making her feel stupid; protecting her (from others and, sometimes, from herself); and leading the course of the relationship. In other words, Game.
Men should be no more resentful of the necessity of Game than women should be of the necessity of maintaining their looks and femininity. They are equivalent currencies.
While this site is home to one of the most impressive collections of insightful comments I’ve seen, this dichotomy still tends to be a huge blind spot.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Ephesians 5 has some good (paraphrased) additional points:
In a rightly ordered marriage…
-Women submit to their husband in all matters.
-Women are obligated to respect, but not love, their husbands.
-Men are obligated to provided for and lead the family to the point of self-sacrifice if called for by events.
-Men are to love their wives, but don’t have to respect them.
Fact is that most men would feel better with a wife who likes them and respects them, but doesn’t love them. Likewise, most women primarily want love, not respect; most women would gladly stay with a man who self-sacrificially loves them, but doesn’t respect them as an equal.
“Likewise, most women primarily want love, not respect; most women would gladly stay with a man who self-sacrificially loves them, but doesn’t respect them as an equal.”
It bears repeating that in this context, “love” doesn’t mean erotic or romantic feelings.
HER obligations include being your personal slut; filling your stomach with regular (if not necessarily daily) food that you like; being responsible with resources; showing you respect; and making your home a pleasant sanctuary to which you want to return.
It’s rather sad and astounding to see how many women do not realize their responsibilities in a relationship/marriage. My grandmother always said such things were common sense in her young wife days.
Yes!!! Thank god people have picked up on the brilliance of this comment. Guys sitting around and lamenting the fact that X fell out of love with them because they became super-betas are like girls sitting around lamenting the fact that Y fell out of love with them because they gained 300lbs.
SRSLY.
Anyway, that Epoxy.
He’s probably in a good relationship.
Mike T:
Great points, though I’d haggle with this:
Respect is an integral part of romantic love.
LILGRL:
LOL.
Epoxytocin is another smart member of the Roissy gang that should have his own blog. Tell him that for me.
Nah, he doesn’t need a blog…he’s getting plugged without one, hmm? He even has his own lil tag.
“Guys sitting around and lamenting the fact that X fell out of love with them because they became super-betas are like girls sitting around lamenting the fact that Y fell out of love with them because they gained 300lbs.”
That analogy might have merit if the husbands were screaming at the wives every day to gain more weight, and society was telling her every day how horrible she was for not gaining weight, and then, the minute she hits 300, he looks at her and says “I can’t believe you got so fat – you’re absolutely disgusting! I’m leaving and you’re going to support me. Actually, you’re going to move out and pay the mortgage on the house while I bring hotties back to the house to fuck every night.”
This was a very, very important point made. Great that you drew it out like that!
Beginners in game stuff probably don’t get this point right away. They’re still figuring out how to fix themselves. Even for me, it took a while to realize the dual roles (despite coming from a culture which celebrates male and female energies but whatever, I grew up American ;-) )
Two people working together can do so much more than one person alone. Especially when you have good man + good woman.
P.S. Mr. Bardamu I rarely comment here but just want to say <3 the blog. So much wisdom… and it feels comfy to be here too somehow. Thank you!
LusBee wrote :
despite coming from a culture which celebrates male and female energies
I think you mean ‘supresses’.
Yea but I think it would be better with:
Good man + good woman + good woman
all feeling like they were one unit.
not field tested yet but that is the hypothesis.
Which should theoretically in my book make it easier on the guy to game since both woman know he can get pussy elsewhere at a moments notice.
But also having another body to help run more shit for the familys benefit.
srsly. I can just have blogs-by-proxy. (eproxytocin?)
I’ll probably put some sort of blog up eventually, but my time is currently monopolized by important (and uncharacteristically ambitious) stuff.
Actually it’s not so much “monopolized” as “oligopolized”, but, yeah. So for now it’ll have to be quality over quantity.
I don’t disagree with you that respect is part of romantic love, at least from the female -> male angle. Most women want to be loved far more than be respected. They’d gladly take a chauvinistic man who loves them and cares for them over some egalitarian who treats them like just another guy when it comes to caring for them and treating them lovingly.
“eproxytocin”
Stickily and untimely born to a surrogate mother?