During my first years of college, spent in a university seventy miles south of Montreal, I acquainted myself with a wide group of weirdos and misfits who helped me put the world into perspective. One of my most notable acquaintances was Marco*, one of my first roommates and a case in which the book didn’t match the cover. Possessing both Italian and Peruvian ancestry, Marco was 6 foot 4 and blessed with good looks. While he wasn’t a workout maniac, he frequently lifted weights and had a fit body – in fact, it was Marco who first turned me onto regular exercise and low-carb dieting. Basically, he looked like the sort of tall, dark and handsome bastard that would be featured on the cover of a Harlequin romance novel, with a title like “Seduced by the Sicilian Scoundrel” or something predictably dramatic. Upon meeting him, I assumed he was a bonafide natural, the sort of guy who had been swooping girls since junior high and would have long lines of women out our door begging for a taste of his Italian sausage.
Shortly after moving in, though, my expectations were shattered into a thousand pieces. Marco was not the slick player I thought he was, but an average dude who was in a monogamous relationship with a cute but not smashing girl. And as the year went on, Marco revealed his beta soul to me bit by bit. He confided to me that he had only lost his virginity at 17, the year before we met. Around Thanksgiving of that year, Marco and his girl got into a massive argument because he had wanted to celebrate their two-month anniversary and she ignored his phone calls to go partying with her friends. I knew nothing of what women wanted then, but I could figure out that the kind of guy who would want to celebrate a two-month relationship anniversary was the sort of chump who couldn’t get laid if the future of the species depended on it.
Marco’s girlfriend was the sort of hussy who masqueraded as a “good girl,” only to show her true face behind closed and locked doors. Watching Marco fail what I later realized were her shit tests over and over was unbelievably painful to watch. She was a serious alcoholic, frequently embarrassing and burdening the teetotaler Marco with her drunken episodes. The coup de grace was when I came home one Saturday night from a few hours of college revelry to find her splayed on my side of the bed, drunk, undressed, and drooling, and Marco wiping up a half-gallon of vomit from the corner of my rug and profusely apologizing to me. That incident killed what little respect I had for him. A man who can’t “keep [his] ho on a leash” is not a man at all. It wouldn’t have surprised me to find out that she was sucking other dudes’ dongs when Marco wasn’t looking.
As I moved through the college’s social circles, I became friends with Rich*, the scumbag to end all scumbags. While not hideous, he wasn’t particularly attractive, being of Irish and Polish ancestry, standing only 5 foot 8, and having a nose like a toucan’s beak. He was known for his extensive drug and alcohol abuse, frequently drove while drunk (and yet never managed to get a DWI), and even managed to blow a hole in his septum from snorting too much cocaine. In regards to his behavior, he was a friendly but surly asshole, the sort of guy who makes a reliable friend but is not “respectable.” But unlike the beta Marco, Rich did have a line of ladies looking to lick his dick on the weekends. He went through women like a flu sufferer goes through tissues.
Most notably, Rich treated the women who wanted him like absolute shit. At one point, he had managed to bring a virginal “good girl” who was on Marco’s girlfriend’s level of attractiveness into his orbit. She slaved for him like I had never seen before; doing his laundry, helping him with his classwork, cleaning his room, giving him blowjobs on command, and following him around like a puppy. Rich was openly contemptuous of her, banging other girls while he was with her (the wallpaper on his cell phone was of two of his other booty calls flashing their boobs), and when she confessed her love for him, he flat out told her he didn’t like her. Her response: “Could you try?” No matter how many times Rich kicked her in the head, she got up and begged for more.
Contrasting these two men and their experiences with women was a mindblowing realization for me. Here was an unattractive guy who behaved like Tucker Max on crystal meth and was rewarded for it with the willing pussies of girls of all stripes – and not just “low-quality” women, but “good girls.” Meanwhile, the muscled, well-groomed and physically attractive Marco struggled to keep his one girlfriend from dumping him out of disgust. As a guy who was average looking and had had average success with women up to that point, I sought answers – and I found them.
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
stereotypes and black and white thinking. Ho hum. Not especially surprising.
That is one of the most succinct descriptions of female “thought” I have seen in quite a while. Well done sparky!
roflmao, oh Steve you are so seriously misled by this deviant beta fish.
Sparky, how many kids do you have?
You don’t deny it Sparky. In fact, you supply the typical female shaming/dismissive attitude that might work on the supplicant beta in the club but fails on guys who are not begging to get into your pants.
It does not even matter if say, 60% of women are not exhibiting the behavior accurately described above (though I’d estimate about 75% at least in fact act like that around men). “Enough” women acting this way is like counterfeit currency driving out the good. There’s too much penalty for “assuming” the bill is good so all bills get discounted down to counterfeit levels, i.e. near worthless. [Which is why governments crack down on it ruthlessly whenever possible.]
What this does for women, broadly, is make every guy they deal with romantically (or otherwise) treat them like dirt. And promotes A-hole Tucker Max behavior. Including but not limited to: flagrant cheating, emotional distance, arrogance, public humiliation, at the least. Men see women sleeping with A-holes and realize, being the A-hole gets the other men sex, and therefore act like A-holes. They also generalize, on the assumption that it’s efficient to assume most women they meet are like this (particularly since they never see Tucker Max types fail spectacularly from this behavior, rather the reverse).
This preference by women for A-holes btw also makes men invest little in women. Why commit to a relationship when all it takes is a bigger A-hole (and there is always a bigger A-hole around) to take the woman away? When also, having other girlfriends makes a man more attractive to women?
This leaves the non-A-hole preferring woman up the creek. Due to preference by other women (and it probably only takes about 33% of the dating population to tip the balance, and it’s usually much much higher) for A-holes, that is the only kind of guy she’ll get on the market. It’s analogous to massive government subsidies for GM and Chrysler. If you prefer a Subaru, but all around you there are only GM and Chrysler dealerships, it’s very difficult to buy one. You’d have to search out a used, less desirable model, with too many miles, or go far outside your area to get a Subaru.
This is particularly true as guys age. A guy in his early twenties may still have the nice-guy persona that a few women wish to “buy.” By his thirties (and women complain about this constantly) that guy has “changed” by seeing the female preference for jerks and A-holes constantly expressed. He is no longer the nice guy, responding to the market. This means a woman who herself changes in her thirties and wants nice-guy commitment, no cheating, no a-hole behavior, no public humiliations, from a prospective husband is hosed.
Because the pool of those guys is drastically smaller, responding to female market incentives. Female Bloggers like “Dawn Summers” note that change — in their twenties they had all sorts of nice guys their own age, in their thirties they have to put up with far lesser quality nice guys, at least part of that being the limited supply of those guys at that age cohort.
If women get older, mature (finally, women tend to be immature in relation to men for far too long, acting like 16 year old Bristol Palins for decades), and find most guys A-holes, they have only themselves to blame for that situation.
Women get EXACTLY the kind of guy they sleep with. And nothing less.
Well, I will agree that women get exactly the kind of guy they sleep with. It is a choice. It is always a choice on the part of the female and on the part of the male. You can settle or you can wait for what is right for you.
But this whole blame game that you guys play here is really sad. Truly. So is your other “game” for that matter. Even more sick is the entire notion that anyone, male or female, is entitled to sex.
It is tunnel vision at best. It is black and white, and what is more it is inaccurate, illogical, and immoral. To say that some percentage of women behave badly somehow justifies bad behavior on the part of men is hogwash. Someone else’s bad behavior NEVER justifies your own bad behavior. You make a choice to behave a certain way and unless someone is holding a gun to your head, you are responsible for the choice you make.
And yes, Whiskey, I do respond in a shaming and dissmissive and antagonitstic way toward your friend here. He proposes theories that are based on nothing, no fact, no logic, nothing to substantiate them. Do they not teach logic and critical thinking courses anymore?
Your friend is mentally/emotionally ill. Most likely he was abused, sexually or otherwise, by a parent or family member. Perhaps abandonded by his mother. Whatever. What he promotes is wrong morally and logically. The rest of you seem to follow him like little culties.
I will say it again. You are not entitled to sex. No man is. No woman is. If it is not freely given, if it is only gained through “game” it is at best meaningless. It is shameful and you should be ashamed if you participate in such. And any woman actually worth having and keeping will smell you coming a mile away and run like hell from you. The best you can hope for with the mind set put forth on this website is exactly the kind of female you object so much to. One who is immature (mentally and emotionally), stunted, coniving and decitful.
If you want a good woman, you have to stop blaming others, stop playing games, and be a good man.
The etymology of the word “integrity” stems from the Latin adjective integer. Integrity may comprise the personal inner sense of “wholeness” deriving from honesty and consistency of character. One with integrity would take responsibility for his/her own choices.
“Your friend is mentally/emotionally ill. Most likely he was abused, sexually or otherwise, by a parent or family member. Perhaps abandonded by his mother. Whatever. What he promotes is wrong morally and logically. The rest of you seem to follow him like little culties.”
BAH HAH HAH HAH! Please, please, don’t stop commenting here. Your comedy never ends.
Integrity, as opposed to mala fide. A mala fide purchaser is one who buys property from another with the knowledge that it has been stolen. It also means bad faith.
Is that really your goal in life? To settle for something stolen? To gain something through bad faith?
I’m not sure if I understand Sparky’s objection to game. It’s not evil and it’s not manipulation. It’s simply removing women from a pedestal and treating them like a peer.
Sometimes I don’t call my friends for days on end. I also don’t pay it any mind if they don’t return a call within 1.5 hours of me leaving a message. I make fun of my friends constantly, and they make fun of me back. That’s because I am confident and comfortable with them. Why should this be any different with a woman I’m seeing?
Because we are conditioned by society to put women on pedestals, and because our sex drives cloud our brains, it does take some analysis to get our behaviour back to normal, so that is the only place where I can see any scheming coming into play. But the end result is that women like men who behave like that, and the men who do behave like that get more women and have better relationships with them. Even “good” girls like confident, decisive men. Women who marry obsequious lickspittles tire of them quickly.
That some women fall for total jerks is their moral failing, not that of the men. Some guys are just assholes to everybody they meet. If a man with whom I was acquainted treated me the way Rich in this story treated the virgin, I wouldn’t follow him around and do favours for him (to say nothing of giving him BJs). He’d be lucky if he didn’t get a punch in the face.
Whiskey,
Your friend cannot make up his own mind. He complains he can’t get his wick dipped (while bragging he is getting it dipped – which we all know means he isn’t. Not really).
At the same time, he seems to complain that there is a lack of decent, moral women out there. The kind of woman who would “save herself” for the right man.
Well, which does he want? If he wants to get his wick dipped, odds are that isn’t going to happen with the kind of woman who would “save herself” for the right man.
And as for the whole “bad boy syndrome,” what you will find is that most of the women who want the bad boy have serious self-esteem issues. They will be needy, self-centered women and the second you leave them alone they will seek reaffirmation from your best friend or next door neighbor.
This will work well for your friend, because he will invariably seek out and find these women, thus reaffirming his own sickness.
ASDF,
“Because we are conditioned by society to put women on pedestals, and because our sex drives cloud our brains, it does take some analysis to get our behaviour back to normal, so that is the only place where I can see any scheming coming into play.”
That isn’t society, that is your hormones. :) Most women, at least the ones who are confident and secure, don’t want to be put on a pedestal. The ones who want the pedestal are the insecure ones. Similarly, often the guys who put the women on the pedal are insecure.
The problem is PRETENDING to be secure an confident when one is not. That is deception and eventually the one deceiving will be found out. Hopefully, before there are any children, but sadly and all too often, not until after at least one or two kids have come along.
“Someone else’s bad behavior NEVER justifies your own bad behavior. You make a choice to behave a certain way and unless someone is holding a gun to your head, you are responsible for the choice you make.”
i prefer not to look at this issue primarily through a moralist standpoint. i don’t believe most credible bloggers in the roissysphere, like roissy or ferdinand, preimarily argue that such a- hole behavior is supposed to be conisidered good. in fact, the posts i read on this blog or roissy’s strongly have an undercurrent of how this behavior is quite deleterious to the long term functioning of society.
you seem to deliberatley be ignoring this and arguing a point no one is making. feminism was never known for its logic.
guys do game because it works more than nice guy game. this does not make these men ethically superior to beta males. i’d like anyone to show me where ferdiand or roissy have explicitly stated this.
women are the gatekeepers of sex and procreation. as long as they disproportionately demand such a hole behavior, it will reflexively be manifested in growing numbers by men.
“women are the gatekeepers of sex and procreation. as long as they disproportionately demand such a hole behavior, it will reflexively be manifested in growing numbers by men”
Wrong. First, women are not the gatekeepers of sex and procreation. Men also get to choose whether or not they have sex. It also takes both parties to procreate, without the sperm, there is no procreation. Without the consent of both parties, it is not sex, it is rape.
But, your statement is very telling and speaks volumes of your own sense of powerlessness. That would also explain why the moral values are of little consideration to you. Your over whelming need to feel powerful and in control supercedes your moral values.
Second, women don’t demand a-hole behavior. SOME women may, but not all, and not even most. I would suggest that if that is the behavior you are seeing, then perhaps you are looking in the wrong places. That would make sense, it is the self-fulfilling prophecy. You will see the same syndrome take place in women who repeatedly end up in abusive situations. They believe all men are abusive, thus they subconsciously seek out abusive men who reaffirm their belief.
Oh, and I am not a feminist, I am simply a female. And I”m betting I could out score you on a logical and critical thinking test while blind folded. Have you ever had a college course in logic and critical thinking?? If you did, I highly recommend you re-take it.
“Wrong. First, women are not the gatekeepers of sex and procreation. Men also get to choose whether or not they have sex.”
Sparky, you must look like Quasimodo and weigh 350 lbs to think that way. Go to any bar on earth. Women are absolutely the gatekeepers of sex.
If women had the same attitude towards sex as men did, then there would be no need for websites like this. I could just walk out onto the street, and ask a chick, “hey, want to do it? There are some bushes over here.” That’s what gays do because it’s two dudes deciding to have sex, with no gatekeepers in sight.
You will see the same syndrome take place in women who repeatedly end up in abusive situations. They believe all men are abusive, thus they subconsciously seek out abusive men who reaffirm their belief.
Why would these women “believe all men are abusive” when in fact the vast majority of men aren’t abusive? Where would the women have gotten that belief in the first place unless they ORIGINALLY were drawn to abusive a-holes in the first place?
ASDF, for all you really know I am a big fat hairy man who gets his jollies by toying with the college boys who can’t manage to get themselves a little sumptin sumptin. That said, I neither weigh 350 lbs, nor do I look like Quasimodo. Likewise, I do not look like the latest pin up girl that you all spend your time masturbating in front of. I am, most probably, about average.
Oh, and I don’t go to bars either. Why not? Because I have no interest in being some college dorks latest conquest.
Which, btw, brings me back to my earlier question. Just what, exactly, do you want? Do you want a girl who will leave the bar with the guy who had the greatest pick up line, biggest bulge in his pants, or the whitest teeth? The very same girl, by the way, who will soon dump you when someone better comes along.
OR, do you want the girl who likes you for who you are (not who you pretend you are) and will stick by you? ‘Cause it seems to me some of you want it both ways.
And do you REALLY want women to have the same attitude towards sex as men do?? Men, typically, are sexually attracted to the most beautiful woman, not the plain or ugly. So, by your logic then, you want women to be sexually attracted to the most handsome man, not the plain or ugly. Are you really sure that will work to your benefit in the long run?
“Why would these women “believe all men are abusive†when in fact the vast majority of men aren’t abusive? Where would the women have gotten that belief in the first place unless they ORIGINALLY were drawn to abusive a-holes in the first place?”
Good question, Tupac. Most women who are attracted to abusive men had abusive fathers as role models. Certainly, not all, but most. Thus, this pattern of behavior and choice often becomes generational.
In some cases, the women had no male role model at all and have low self-esteem for other reasons. Maybe they think they are too fat or ugly to attract a decent guy. Maybe they think they are too stupid to attract a decent guy. Maybe they think they are too low class.
Likewise, abusive men often have a sixth sense for which women will be easy prey. They can sniff them out like a blood hound on the trail. It is in the way the carry themselves, their body language, etc. Thus, they often have little difficulty finding each other.
I would add, Tupac, that similar statements would be true about your pal on this blog. Typically, men like him feel completely inadequate and powerless. Thus the need for “game.” He lacks confidence and is insecure. Not just the normal insecurities that most people experience at one time or another, this is an extreme version.
This type of man was most likely abused as a child by a parent or relative and/or abandoned by his mother. By utilizing “game” he will ultimately end up with women who will reaffirm the belief he already has about them, thus perpetuating the cycle. Unless, of course, he seeks therapy. Odds are against that, however. Pride, ego, the need to feel in control, denial masked by blame, etc. usually makes seeking therapy very difficult for such a person.
Maybe they think they are too fat or ugly to attract a decent guy.
Bullshit. There are ALWAYS tons of “decent guys” offering themselves up for a woman who is fat or ugly. But this is a red herring.
In actual fact, in REALITY, I find it telling that most of the women I observe who go for “abusive assholes” are often the hottest of the bunch.
True, some of the women may have assholes for fathers, but many of the women come from “respectable” backgrounds.
But perhaps the reason they have assholes for fathers is because their mothers did indeed prefer assholes over “decent guys.”
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Tons of decent guys who offer themselves up to fat or ugly women? Really? And you know this from what? Your vast experience in life? And how old are you? 18, 20, 25?
And just how many abusive assholes do you know anyway? And how do you know these women come from respectable backgrounds? What constitutes a respectable background anyway?
Is respectable middle class? upper middle class? do you think abusive people can’t earn an income? Do you really know what goes on behind closed doors in these homes?
BTW, and just because YOU think a woman is hot, that doesn’t necessarily mean she views herself as hot.
Oh and Tupac, forgive me. I left out another common reason women go for the abusers. Those who have been sexually abused as a child, will often replay this offence into adulthood.
38% of girls are sexually abused before the age of 18. And naturally, that statistic only includes the cases where the abuse was reported. Nearly 1/3 of these girls were under the age of 6 when they were abused. 1 – 4 % of such cases are false accusations. As of 1993 there were 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse
Long term effects of child abuse include fear, anxiety, depression, anger, hostility, inappropriate sexual behavior, poor self esteem, tendency toward substance abuse and difficulty with close relationships. Almost all victims of sexual abuse feel guilt and shame and blame themselves.
A large percentage of them will grow up to abuse drugs and or alcohol. They are 3 times more likely to end up pregnant before they turn 18. The sexual abuse that was forced upon them as children leaves them feeling shamed, damaged, powerless. No matter how beautiful they are, they will not believe they deserve the decent guy. They see themselves as damaged goods.
So you tell me, what came first, the chicken or the egg?
And how old are you sparky? 16? 17? Young enough to buy all the feminist lies and bullshit. You probably believe the canards about the “rule of thumb” and DV on Super Bowl Sunday too.
You stupid fucking troll cunt. You should have quit at “I will say it again. You are not entitled to sex. No man is. No woman is.” while you were ahead.
You got that part right, but youd didn’t stop there. You slogged on into shaming every man for simply wanting to get laid. No man is entitled to sex, but the day it becomes a crime to want is is the day there will be blood in the street.
And just how do you think you came into existence anyway?
Oh Sestamibi, pulling out the big words now? Did you spell check them first? I never said is was a shame to want sex. Did your conscience finally speak up? Is that where this feeling of shame you have is coming from?
Can it sparky, the shaming doesn’t work on this blog.
Now answer my questions: How many kids do you have? How old are you? How do you think you got here?
Dumb fucking cunt.
. . . and by the way, look who’s home on Friday night with nothing better to do than troll a MRA blog.
Now excuse me while I finish packing for my weekend trip with my family.
Dumb fucking cunt.
I see you did use spell check. Good for you. And you are packing your own things? Your parents must be so proud. :)
You have some serious anger issues sestamibi! And despite your feeble attempt to intimidate me by using the word cunt, I feel absolutely no obligation whatsoever to reveal my personal information to you.
Perhaps I am some 350 mammoth mama who can’t get a date on a Friday night. Perhaps I am a big hairy 50 year old guy who is getting his rocks off by reading this college wet dream blog. Perhaps I am a hottie who is happily screwing her alpha male in between posts. Perhaps I am a sociology student who finds the rantings of nerdy college boys fascinating. Perhaps I am a psychologist who finds your deeply disturbed friend’s blog to be an interesting study of the inner thoughts of a sociopath.
Or, perhaps none of them are true. Oh, and you still haven’t answered my question about what, exactly, it is you want? The horny hot chick who will take you home from the bar and screw you senseless or the woman who will stick by you through thick and thin.
And notice, I was able to repeat my question without using a single swear word! You should try it sometime, it could be good for your soul.
sparky:
“And notice, I was able to repeat my question without using a single swear word! You should try it sometime, it could be good for your soul.”
should we give you a cookie for the one time on this thread you don’t feel like trying to use shaming tactics in lieu of a coherent argument.
troll. i’m tempted to say let’s stop feeding the troll, but it’s also entertaining seeing you get so insecure about men’s rights issues. you’ve been hurt badly.
Freak show, there is no logic whatsoever in the post! The post itself IS a logical fallacy. DOH! I presented arguments and facts. Your blogging buddy here has no facts, just theories pulled out of his ass.
Yet, you will come to the defense of your buddy. That’s okay, it is a common phenomenon among those caught up in group think.
He “only” lost his virginity at 17? Out of curiosity, what would have been an acceptable alpha age for you?
I’m a woman. I lost my virginity at 16. I think if it happened any younger I would have cringed in retrospect. Men sexually mature slower than women; seventeen seems reasonable.
The saddest thing about Game is that it works. If it did not, if it produced no results, it would not be of any concern to anyone. That Game does indeed work, by allowing ordinary men to pose essentially as rogues and bad boys is a pathetic comment on the average judgment of the average woman. Which is eternally Bristol Palin at 16.
Choice does not happen in a vacuum. Lack of cultural mores by choice-makers (which is ALWAYS women) rapidly degenerates into South Central. Fifty years ago it was possible for White visitors to visit Central Ave. Jazz Clubs, which were rough but not deadly. Doors were mostly unlocked and children played unsupervised. Shootings of innocent people were unknown. Free Choice unbounded by culture, religion, and social structure led inexorably to Black women preferring more masculine, dominant, assertive men with higher status than themselves, which in the end led to massive ghetto thuggery.
Your average Ghetto banger makes less than minimum wage for appalling risk and no payoff, even street bosses make less than a McDonald’s manager and a overboss makes less than a McDonald’s owner, with far greater risk. These men do what they do because it gets them sex and reproduction.
Your shaming argument is useless — because it only works when men CARE about getting into a woman’s pants. It might work at the Club on Friday night, over the internet, never, and has zilch effect on the aggregate choices of men and women. It’s like Canute ordering his soldiers to hold back the sea. The definition of futility.
Moreover the flipside of no man being entitled to sex is that no woman is entitled to male investment. Which means assistance for her and her children. Defense from violence by other men. Help for her when she is old and sick. No caring AT ALL when some nutcase comes in and starts killing them. When Marc Lepine (aka Adan Ghrabil, Morroccan immigrant to Montreal) came in and with AK-47 in hand, told the men to exit the Ecole Polytechnique, they did passively, and reacted not at all when he shot 19 of them to death. THAT would have been unthinkable a generation ago, when men WERE guaranteed pretty much sex.
If you want men to lay down their lives for you, they better be invested. They BETTER be guaranteed some prospect of sex and in fact marriage.
If you are Wonder Woman, ageless, immortal, and super-powered, that’s an understandable attitude (i.e. men not invested and not “guaranteed” aka most men priced out of sex/marriage). You’ll never get sick, never need help, never fall down on an icy sidewalk and have men step over you uncaring because they are not “guaranteed anything” and so owe you nothing.
For MORTAL women, that’s all kinds of social stupidity.
No society, EVER, has been good for women and kids when large amounts of men are outside marriage/relationships.
Women on average DO demand A-hole behavior. They do this, because intermediating institutions like Churches and relationships with older women (“Don’t date that A-hole! He’s hot but got two other girls pregnant and dumped them”) are gone. EVEN Lizzy Bennet was drawn to Wickham. Women meet most of their mates/partners in bars (casual cocky-funny A-hole behavior) or the workplace (again, cocky-funny A-hole behavior). It’s superficial with no vetting as to character, known tendencies, and the like which used to be the critical province of older women no longer impressed by the tribal tattoo or piercing.
Of course women are the gatekeepers. They don’t approach. They merely winnow out the offers. That’s gatekeeping. When was the last time you asked out fifteen men and got 14 rejections, of varying niceness to harshness? That is indeed gatekeeping and it’s typically female disingenuous to deny this social power. It’s not everything, true, but it sure as hell is something.
And you missed my point. “Enough” women (probably as low as 33%) are all that is required to tip every guy’s behavior into A-hole. Women certainly don’t reject men for being an A-hole. I have NEVER seen that happen. “Nice guy?” Sure. Women find that “boring.” Pretty much most “nice guys” who face rejection in favor of say, “Mystery” (have you seen that guy? Seriously. He makes out a like a bandit — and he’s a total goof) turns himself into an A-hole because that is what most women want.
And again, you’re being non-responsive. There’s study after study showing women’s innate preference for A-holes. It seems hard-wired, like men’s preference for teen girls. No healthy society can allow either to be expressed — teen girls are dumber than dirt in choosing men, and women without social pressure to think with something other than down there create a flood of single mothers from A-holes like Levi Johnson.
Sparky — that stat is bs. Women from intact nuclear families almost NEVER suffer sexual abuse. Think about it. There are excellent Darwinian reasons why fathers don’t have sex with their daughters (not the least is which pheromones make each unattractive to each other). That does NOT occur when Mom’s boyfriend or the step-father is in the house, without lots of social controls (religion) to inhibit sexual behavior. That stat of 60 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse is ludicrous. I’ll grant you that the high rate of single motherhood among Black and Hispanics makes those populations highly susceptible to child abuse, but that’s another story. [The Black illegitimacy rate in 1965 was 24%, today over 70% nationwide and now 90%+ in the urban core. Hispanic rate was 17% in 1981, and over 50% today.]
If that stat were accurate in predicting most White professional urban women, nearly 40% would be incapable of having any normal, monogamous marriage and would require basically, institutionalizing. Are you prepared to say that? This fails the elementary BS test.
The problem is that there is NO social check on female preference for bad boys. Cheap and reliable contraception? Check. Urban anonymity? Check. Rising incomes and independence for women? Check. Bad-boy-apolooza? Check.
Bottom line, there has NEVER been this situation in human history, EVER. Where women can have sex with any guy and not worry about pregnancy. Where women do not face social censure for who and how many they sleep with. Where women have their own money and career, and don’t have to carefully consider what kind of man, his character, intelligence, flaws, virtues, and so on who they sleep with or worse, marry.
All that matters — does he make me hot in the club? Or at work. That’s the criteria. Superficial female lust.
This total, unfettered freedom for women allows them to share the few hot, socially dominant guys without any consequences. It creates a few winners among guys and a LOT of losers.
You have no idea, really, of the depth of male anger amongst the losers, particularly on the issue of being “lied to” about how the system of mating now works. There’s quite a lot of them, and almost every ordinary guy has a huge, massive dry streak in their twenties post-College because they follow the public “rules” which amounts to be a nice guy, and it’s NOT what women want. It’s what they say, but it’s not what their actions reveal. That PUA can make thousands per head teaching men to approach and romance women, ought to scare the hell out of you. It’s something that would have been as unthinkable as teaching men to breathe in our father’s era.
Men realistically want a relatively even playing field with other men to win the exclusive favors of a woman who will become their wife, with not many past partners. Said woman being relatively equal in their own level of attractiveness and status. They would like to get married and stay married, and not constantly have to guard their mates, from other men, or go through contortions of constant non-stop courting after marriage. They want the marriage they saw their fathers had.
Men are really pissed, because unless you are say, Peyton Manning or Bill Gates, it’s nearly impossible. To be the men their fathers were.
At best, men have the twisted parody of masculinity their fathers embodied in Mystery to emulate. Since that’s what women are buying. Men don’t like it.
Let me give you the male perspective. Think 16 Candles and Anthony Michael Hall and Molly Ringwald, both around the same age.
Ringwald has no problem in adolescence with men finding her attractive. She had male attention at age 14 or so, and has it throughout her teens, twenties, thirties, and perhaps forties.
For the Anthony Michael Halls, the most significant aspect of their lives is rejection by their female peers. They are not physically mature to compete with either older boys (that the Ringwalds prefer) or the lucky few who mature physically early. The “Jake Ryans” who mature around 14-15 or so get LOTS of female attention. Then confidence and cocky assurance which is female catnip.
Thus men get sorted VERY EARLY into Failure bins (late maturer) and a few SUCCESS bins (a lucky few who develop their physique and thus female interest at 15). This basically sets the stage for most guys who find it exceedingly difficult to gain confidence and assertiveness with women since their formative experience was failure.
Imagine beating the knuckles of every kid who’s trying to read whenever he/she makes a mistake. You get a few literate readers and a nation of semi-literates. That’s the sexual experience of male adolescents. Losing virginity EARLY is a sign of being so physically mature and confident that success carries over into every aspect of relationships with women thereafter.
The “naturals” with women who always seem to have women around them, but can’t really articulate why, tend to be almost without exception, early maturers who experienced and thus expect success instead of failure.
If you wouldn’t teach kids to read by humiliating them whenever they make mistakes, why would you think that boys learning to approach women would be any different?
Hilarious.
This is why there is no point in discussing with a woman/mangina.
A side effect is that some men who read this exchange will learn something.
Every fact that is brought up is countered with emotion/shaming.
Every life experience that is brought up is countered with how old areyou/you met the wrong people/not all are like that.
In mala fide, whiskey, sestamibi, tupac, I cosign everything you wrote here.
Two things I want to say:
1. I am an 8, or 9. So I have seen that good behavior puts me into the position the guy #1 was in, and any bad behavior puts me into female riches, abundance etc. Without exception.
2. I said, I am an 8 or 9, and I still cannot say what this female friend, a 6 told me: “There is no point in taking someone home. It is so easy”, and she tends to shoot for guys like me.
Sparky tho, is not an exception.
Most women I have met, be it 5 or 10, be it low iq, or high iq, think this way.
Few ones who dont, are the exception.
What you said makes perfect sense, but there are a lot of success stories about men who learn game and “turn” Alpha. Then, I think it brings into question whether or not natural game is superior to learned game. It’s not perfectly analogous to compare this to a punitive educational tecnique, because game is a method that effectively decodifies relationships for men. But yes, I totally agree with what you said concerning the early and late maturers, and how being a late maturer will inherently place the odds against you.
“He “only†lost his virginity at 17? Out of curiosity, what would have been an acceptable alpha age for you?”
For a natural alpha? 13, 14 at the latest. Assanova, a natural, lost his in the eighth grade, so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.
“I’m a woman. I lost my virginity at 16. I think if it happened any younger I would have cringed in retrospect.”
A commonality between all of the sluts I’ve known is that none of them waited long after they got their menses to start having sex- usually around 12 or 13.
“Men sexually mature slower than women; seventeen seems reasonable.”
For most guys, yes. For a natural, no.
“Then, I think it brings into question whether or not natural game is superior to learned game.”
There are definite advantages to natural game – “harem-building” is much easier for naturals because they rely on social circle game for most of their lays, for instance. Thing is, these are technical details that the average dude doesn’t care about too much. A lay is a lay is a lay.
I just find the idea of 13 or 14 year old boys losing their virginity, well, cringeworthy. It’s child sex, practically. Boys are lucky to have a growth spurt at that age, much less body hair, or deep voices. The same applies to girls, who at 12 or 13 may have started menstruating, but haven’t spouted breasts yet. I feel like those cases are the exceptions rather than the rule, though. A quick Google search tells me the average age to lose one’s virginity is 17 in Canada, and the global average is 17.3, which seems reasonable for alphas or not.
when she confessed her love for him, he flat out told her he didn’t like her. Her response: “Could you try?â€
————————
LMAO!
But he still must have had a pocket ace to pull all that off. Was he at least hung like a horse?
My God, we’ve actually had what, 8-10 postings now, without anyone responding to sparky…? Guys, its flat out boring when we respond to trolls like her. Let’s discuss the issues of the post, and not let her drive the whole thread.
You’re talking to sparky (a female here) as though it is sentient being.
Mistake.
Woman (like men) are dogs. Throw the stick and their instinct is they chase. Automaton.
All the talk is just shit test using deception.
But some of us have tried to be “good men” to women–I spent forty years of my life playing the role of a “good man”, sacrificing my own wants and needs for the women of my life, being understanding and compassionate and supportive, and all the bullshit that the world says that men are supposed to do. What did I get out of it? Broke, broken hearted, and dying of cancer at the age of forty.
Fuck that.
I can respect what you are doing with this blog to some extent, but you are very wrong if you think you are somehow rebelling against feminism. You are playing right into the hands of the feminists, and are playing into their game all the way.
As you have stated in some form or another many times, most women, at least modern American women, want to be treated like slags. They get off on it. By fucking and chucking them, you really arent rebelling, you are simply giving them exactly what they want. If a woman can be used like a fuck bag her whole life without consequences, she will be perfectly happy as long as the daddy state provides her with a cushy service job and and an alimony check.
So then, who are you really hurting? The only people you are fucking over is 95% of the male population that will no longer get laid or find a suitable marriage partner because she has already been butt fucked by 50 fat bad boy cocks. This is exactly what the feminists want- the ability to fuck men like you with impunity at the expense of the vast majority of the male population. If everyone gets “game” then there will still only be 5% of the population that is getting pussy. The standards of game will simply increase. Women want this. They want to eliminate the ability of men to gain power and love through achievement, which is the heart and soul of civilization, and instead allow them to achieve a marginal level of female attention and influence solely through arbitrary sexual attractiveness.
The only way to stop the feminists from exerting control over the society- and yes that will eventually mean you too- is by refusing to fuck slags straight out.
Marriage was instituted by natural selection. Societies that adopted strict codes of sexual morals and marriage were ones that were able to harness the power of the entire male populace, enabling them to dominate other groups and increase reproductive success. The fact is that when it comes down to it, having a big dick or rougish charm doesnt make you a good soldier, thinker, or builder. By allowing every man to have reproductive success through marriage to virginal women, and strict consequences for adultery, men were free to form bonding, productive, and competitive but healthy relationships with each other and achieve nothing less than the entirety of western civilization. It was through the self control and sexual power checks placed on the alpha male (and by alpha I mean sexual alpha, often a beta in every other regard) that made this possible. If the alpha male gets married and refuses or is compelled not to fuck other women, every woman that is not chosen by him will have to attract a beta for marriage. The only sexual relationship allowed is within marriage, so all of her sexual charm and manipulation must be toward that end- toward making a man want to MARRY HER, which requires her not to be a whore. Women’s sexual power is therefore nullified, and the onus is put on her to attract the best possible long term mate. Patriarchy is thus upheld first and foremost by alpha male self control.
Women achieve power by turning men against each other and eroding their ability to cooperate, compete, and bond in a productive manner. When a man’s energy and competitive spirit is focused on trying to sexually one up other males by improving his “game,†he becomes a tool. In a healthy society, all of the energy that men invest in sexual “game†is spent on other games that are far more vital to the society as a whole- trying to achieve for one’s family and honor, resulting in successful soldiers, scientists, builders, and fathers. By reveling in your ability to “win†at the feminists game, you become nothing more than a dildo that they use to gain more independence from the male populace. The end result of this of course is societal collapse and slavery, which will destroy alphas and feminists alike, but like the feminists, you are content with this as long as you get your pussy and aren’t alive to see the consequences.
Vasectomize the alpha males. They are still available for sexual pleasure, but they won’t outbreed beta men.
The only real solution I see to reverse feminism is for sexual alphas to refuse to fuck slags, and for betas to stop being chumps by marring the slags after they have had their fun. Neither group has so far shown much promise in this regard thus far, although I do see signs of hope. Men are more commonly refusing to marry, and on a personal note I do have at least one alpha friend who is refusing to play the game. We are in an elite grad program dominated by women, and my friend has a girlfriend he has dated since high school that was a virgin when they met. She is attractive but by no means a knockout. What she does have is an intangible sweetness, complete lack of cynicism, and modest beauty that comes from sexual morals, and is generally only seen nowadays overseas. Now since he started the program, nearly every slut in our program has tried desperately to fuck my friend. They constantly follow him around like a herd of cows, and he has denied them all. The anger they display due to this is striking. He is one of the nicest, smartest, strongest, most outgoing guys around, but these sluts are enraged that he is staying faithful to a good girl. They constantly insult her behind his back, call him a chauvinist asshole, and so on and so forth simply because he wont play their game. He is nice to them but wont fuck them. That is enough to send them into a spiral of self-loathing rage, and he doesn’t even realize he is doing it. By denying these highly intelligent, often good looking career women in favor of simple nice girl, he is sending a message that a career and sexual experience only degrades a woman’s sexual worth. He is allowing them to experience rejection and humiliation due to the fact that they are whores. When they talk shit about him, without justifiable cause, they almost immediately realize that they have simply made a fool of themselves and laid bare their desperation. It is plain as day on their faces, and it is hilarious to watch. All of the usual responses to such a rejection are not possible with him. They can’t say its because he is shy and has a small dick, or any of their other usual insults because they know it just doesn’t wash with a guy like him. They can’t say that he is an uneducated simpleton because he is a near genius and outcompetes them all at the top of his class. He is their superior in every objective measure, and nothing they say can make that fact any less plain. To be rejected by a visibly and truly superior alpha male on moral grounds is the greatest humiliation a slut can experience. It calls into question her entire world view. If an alpha male really wants to rebel, and put these sluts in their place, this is the example to follow.
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