Your mission, should you choose to accept it – vajazzle the Internet
This message goes out to my readers who happen to have blogs. The rest of y’all can mosey along.
As a blogger, I’m a giver. I provide a steady stream of literary enlightenment and amusement for no other reason then because I enjoy writing this crap. Hell, I even give back to the bloggers who patronize my little site with a weekly links post that showers exposure on dozens of talented digi-scribblers. I am, by any objective metric, a generous guy.
But now I request your aid, my fellow writers of web-logs. Last week, I wrote on the new trend of “vajazzling,” the process of adorning a vagina with shiny crystals. Yesterday, in response to my lament that I was getting so few search hits from the post, Eumaios and Ulysses offered to Google bomb my blog with the word “vajazzled.” I took them up on that offer, and Ulysses got the ball rolling with this post. I want to completely OWN this motherfucker, and I need your help to do it.
How can you contribute to this important cause? Simple – post a link on your blog that reads “vajazzled” or some variation thereof that goes back to In Mala Fide. If you want a step-by-step instruction on how to Google bomb, see here. You don’t have to create a whole new post in order to do this – you can slip the link in an existing post. If enough of you do this, my site will be forced to the top of the Google vajazzling rankings.
I’m not asking for much. I’m not begging for money or anything important. I just want to own this Google bomb, and with this and the completion of a long list of other items, I can die happy. Will you help a brother out?
Count me in. I know what it’s like. My blog is #2 on Google for “emotional pornography.”
anytime, man.
[...] realised I semi ripped off a Steven Wright joke. That’s OK though, it’s for a good cause.) Categories: Frivolity, Hypotheses which could never formally be tested due to insufficient [...]
Done.
Ferdinand
I have tried to do the necessary (blog link that is, not actual vajazzling, I am working to a tight deadline today). You might just double check to see that it has been done properly. My technical competence is somewhat limited.
Have you considered doing a post on the male equivalent of vajazzling (otherwise known as the Prince Albert)?
SDaedalus
Done:
Man, I Am So Un-Hip
[...] For Mr Bardamu Per his request: [...]
[...] In the spirit of fomenting good blogkarma. How many of you ladies would do this (or have done it): vajazzled ** __ Share and [...]
Will try to do it tomorrow.. or later today.
Have you considered doing a post on the male equivalent of vajazzling (otherwise known as the Prince Albert)?
Sir, you have just revitalized the joke line: “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?”
Done. Let me know if I didn’t get it right.
I assume you are going to do a special linkfest of all of our googlebomb posts? Linkage is Good For You: Vajazzled edition with JLH herself for the pic?
Done and done, my friend. I read this post with an internal Luca Brasi voice, btw.
I may request similar services if I decide to own the phrase “jungle-gym pussy”, “sexual arbitrage”, or “Queef” (queer feminist).
I’ll help you out with some linkage in a new post soon, probably this evening when I get to it.
Though, I think you will vastly improve your search rankings for “vajazzled” if you actually use that word in your post title about that topic. Seriously, you should have optimized that shit on page first. So maybe go back and edit that title to read:
“Your WTF word of the day – Vajazzled”
Also, people linking/google bombing should make sure to link to that particular post and not the home page.
[...] http://www.inmalafide.com/2010/03/05/your-mission-should-you-choose-to-accept-it/ [...]
I put one up. Hope it works out.
Also done!
you got it you filthy vajazzler
I’m on the case! See the sticky post (the very first one) at my blog, where I added a P.S. about the Word of the Month.
You probably won’t like what I’m writing but you deserve to be told the truth. The article in question is unworthy of Google Page 1. It’s a rant, it’s written from a perspective which (sadly) is not at all mainstream, it offers very little info which would interest the general person Googling the word “vajazzled”.
As Matt Savage points out, the title doesn’t even contain the word you’re trying to rank for! That’s suicidal. Change the title to “Vajazzled”. Edit your theme so that post titles don’t contain ” | In Mala Fide” at the end– this will help with SEO for *all* your articles.
SDaedalus’ Prince Albert suggestion is very sound. Presently, your authority on the subject of vajazzling is absolutely nil. You’re seriously trying to “own” a keyword that you wrote 360 words about, of which 182 (more than HALF) are quoted from *your own competition* (to whom, incidentally, you give a link)? All you’ll accomplish is cripple the trustrank (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TrustRank) of your friends.
Sorry if this is a little harsh, I’m a fan of your writing and appreciate it very much, keep it up, remember, a good MRA is a knowledgeable MRA.
I’m with Anonymous. You obviously are not the world’s foremost expert on vajazzling and shouldn’t make any attempt to “own” that term. Plus you link to me and that seriously undermines your credibility on all issues.
I thought you were reserving Fridays for lighthearted and random stuff and then today you bring out the academic heavy artillery. Where did you go, Bardamu Boy?
[...] Bardamu of In Mala Fide is launching an internet campaign to lay claim on a new word: [...]
Anonymous
Be kind to Ferdinand. He’s feeling a bit tender, having only just found out what a Prince Albert is. I don’t think he’ll be engaging in any male vajazzling any time soon.
SDaedalus
[...] 5, 2010 by Alkibiades One giant hat tip to Ferdinand Bardamu on his latest project. Vajazzled, vagazzling his way to a million hits! Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Get OutThere Goes My [...]
The Vajazzle Monologues.
[...] marketplace so there is no “deregulated sexual marketplace” right now. This causes vajazzling in a figurative sense of the term. Vajazzling is when a woman superglues crystals to her vagina. [...]
Done and I actually wrote a real post using the term.
Fuck me, this is getting out of control. What have we unleashed?
[...] and here is a link to another post about vajazzled [...]
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[...] post brought to you in part by Jennifer Love Hewitt's Pants Party, in conjunction with the Vajazzler! Look for it in finer boutiques [...]
In return for the free advertising over the past few months, I have added to your treasure trove of vajazzling goodness by slipping a link into a sucker-punched Shakespearean sonnet.
I put the term next to your link in my blogroll, so it’ll show up in every post.
I added a post using the word “vajazzled” and linking back to the original post.
As others have pointed out I am not sure how much good it will do, but it is fun to try. A bit like gaming a DC lawyer chick, I suppose.
So what do we call vajazzled ladies “vajezebels?”
FB – how about re-interpreting the term ‘vajazzle’ as an insult – a whiteknighter, beta, traitor etc. Someone literally dazzled by the vag. You could legitimately own it then.
Merits an entry in the urban dictionary – lol.
“Man you were vajazzled – don’t worship the pussy”.
“Opened the door – what a vajazzle”.
FB. Done. Post goes up in about six hours. Happy world domination.
Oh, and thanks for the linkosity.
Here you go:
http://sparkupthenight.wordpress.com/2010/03/06/a-favor-to-a-friend/
I’ve included the term (with a link to your blog) in my men’s rights lexicon (work in progress).
Thanks for linking to me.
I seen a “vajazzle” on AD’s blog. That is such a tacky, slutty fad. If a man dated a women and undressed her and saw that, he should use TWO condoms…….before pumping-and-dumping her
@ fsharp. You are absolutely right. Ferdinand should do another post using vajazzle in the new meaning of the word and then we should all link to that post and spam places such as urban dictionary with it. Perhaps it’ll put a stop to the trend.
Looks like you’re at 13th right now for a “vajazzle” Google search.
What’s a “Prince Albert”? anyone….?
[...] Google My Vajazzle [...]
I made a vajazzle post. And I checked google and you are now #14 for that term
Anouk:
Google it. And don’t say you weren’t warned.
[...] I haven’t checked, but I’m probably on the first page of Googles around the world. In the mere span of a weekend, our campaign of link-terrorism has brought one of the world’s largest corporations to heel. [...]
[...] saying that she wanted to strike back by having other bloggers re-post the piece, similar to how we vajazzled Google back in March. So you like this post and you want to stick it to the feminists, re-publish it at your own blog [...]