Your WTF word of the day: “vajazzled”
And yes, it means EXACTLY what you think it means:
Last night, Jennifer Love Hewitt was a guest on George Lopez’ late night show, “Lopez Tonight.”
And lest you think the spot was not news-worthy, we’re here to prove otherwise.
So we’re just gonna come right out and say it: Jennifer Love Hewitt has been vajazzled.
For those unaware of the practice, it’s like bedazzling your lady parts with stick-on Swarovski crystals.
“After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski crystalled my, um, precious lady,” Hewitt told Lopez. “It shined like a disco ball.”
Hewitt liked the look so much she was sporting it again last night. “It’s hot pink for you for tonight,” she told Lopez.
The procedure was made popular by New York City’s Completely Bare Spa, as a post-waxing add-on service. An esthetician decorates your newly bare nether region with stick-on Swarovski crystals in the design of your chioce. A starburst? A heart? A butterfly, perhaps? (Ahem, Mariah?)
Uh, yeah ladies, if you aren’t happy with the way your girly bits look, just have overpriced shiny stones plastered all over ‘em and you’ll feel like a billion bucks!
But what do the menfolk think? Apparently, they can’t get enough of it:
And Barshop did offer us this tidbit of information about how men react to the vajazzle: “They LOVE it!” she said. “They love it even more especially when it’s a suprise.”
My question is, how the hell does this work when it comes to sex? Wouldn’t a vigorous pounding shake those expensive crystals right off? Or is the superglue strong enough to withstand the deepest of deep-dickings?
Me, I’m not a fan of piercings, tattoos, fake nails, or other artificial implements on a woman. I don’t even like earrings. So if I encounter a vajazzled hoo-hoo-dilly, I’m smashing the shit out of it on principle and bailing as soon as I can get my pants back on. A chick who needs to get her gates of life adorned with tacky accoutrements has got issues. Serious issues.
A hat tip of sorts to T. aka Ricky Raw, who inspired me to Google this. Curse my curiosity.
“A chick who needs to get her gates of life adorned with tacky accoutrements has got issues. Serious issues.”
I agree.
“So if I encounter a vajazzled hoo-hoo-dilly, I’m smashing the shit out of it on principle, and bailing as soon as I can get my pants back on.”
Girls with issues are usually much better first time lays than girls without issues. You can train your normal girl if you are in a LTR, of course, but for one night stands I’ll take the girl with issues every time. Nothing seems off-limits to these types.
i was banging a stripper one time, and when i went to pull out. i came in her belly button. she got all mad that i got jizz on her belly button piercing. i imagine that vajazzling the va-j-j will lead to much of this. a funny story that semi-relates.
If not done in excess, it can look OK. But women are excessive.
Think of tramp stamps.. if they are small, symmetrical and classic- they look good.
Anyone else notice the dissonnance between admitting on live television that she deforested her crotch clean of hair and had a perfect stranger glue sequins to it and her reluctance to say “vagina” on the air?
Oh, and defacing God’s work of art is just vandalism.
“Girls with issues are usually much better first time lays than girls without issues. You can train your normal girl if you are in a LTR, of course, but for one night stands I’ll take the girl with issues every time. Nothing seems off-limits to these types.”
False rape accusations? STDs other than HIV? “Accidental” pregnancy?
There are good reasons to avoid these women even for one night stands.
You say “Vajazzle” but I keep hearing “Ornamental Vagina”.
As in not for use anymore. Just for looking at. No touchie.
What’s next–flashing neon lights?
Along with Susan Sarandon getting barfed on by a trannie, this has to be the stupid celebrity of the day.
Why are you so bent on hurting an ex-fattys self esteem. Ever saw her bikini pics from her big butt stage?
“False rape accusations? STDs other than HIV? “Accidental” pregnancy?
There are good reasons to avoid these women even for one night stands.”
All that stuff just adds to the excitement. Its extreme sport fucking, soon to be an Olympic drawcard.
On another note, I didn’t know the racist George Lopez had a talk show.
I have never found Jennifer Love Hewitt very attractive.
I also have a sad feeling that these ‘vajazzles’ are going to take off in popularity any day now.
FB,
Heard about this one?
http://money.msn.co.nz/article/1016448/married-google-ceo-forces-mistress-to-remove-blog
There’s nothing finer than a thick, rich, luxuriant bush, overflowing with magnificent concentrated aromas and flavors.
A women who has crystals right outside of her vagina can have crystal INSIDE of it.
That image really creeps me out.
“A women who has crystals right outside of her vagina can have crystal INSIDE of it.”
lol, imagine inadvertently shoving one of those up your hole. Ouch
Or putting your dick in a crystal-filled vaj. A SHARP crystal-filled vaj.
I got an extreme alergy to everything that threaten the integrity of my package. Finger scan first will be popular now.
I guess she can use the jewels to cover up the herpes ulcers.
Jennifer Love Hewitt was possibly my last celebrity crush, before I outgrew such things. When I was 17, spring semester of my senior year of high school, she was in a short-lived series called The Byrds of Paradise in which she played Timothy Busfield’s angsty teen daughter. The local newspaper’s weekly TV magazine, which often highlighted several shows for each evening with a paragraph of text and a promotional photo for each, had this picture of her with her hands resting on a tree, looking up and away from the camera, with a somewhat somber expression. A quick wikiing of her birthday shows that she was 14 or 15 at the time. I still remember being mezmerized by that little 2×2 black and white photo. I thought she was just the cutest thing ever. I used to steal away to the third floor of our house, where my brother and I kept the old 14″ Philco TV we used for playing Nintendo, to watch the show, because I didn’t want anyone in my family knowing I was watching a TV show just to look at this girl.
Back then, I still thought girls were innocent–and I was too. All I wanted to do was hold her hand, look into her eyes, brush her hair away from her cheek and make her feel loved. Now she’s on national talk shows bragging about decorating her vulva with fake jewels.
I tell you, when I think about what it was like to feel that way–as much as I appreciate the Game-o-sphere having disabused me of the notion that women are these pure, innocent, virginal creatures, I still get quite frustrated and disappointed that it’s not true.
vajazzled? Yikes.
That’s just gross. It’s sort of funny that she doesn’t think her vagina is enticing enough. She has to decorate it to get some attention. LOL.
Could you break it down in a reasonable fashion? Why do you guys give a shit?
If I was hooking up with some chick and her vagina was super shiny, i’d be like “yeah whatever. is it wet?”
Who wears stuff with rhinestones on it? Little girls. Is this mutton trying to dress like lamb?
Me, I’m not a fan of piercings, tattoos, fake nails, or other artificial implements on a woman.
It’s because you’re in the closet. :-P
I’ve yet to understand why more men don’t find those things to be attractive given that they increase the sexual appeal and value of the woman in question. A woman with none of those things is a sexless “mommy” as far as I’m concerned.
I’m smashing the shit out of it on principle and bailing as soon as I can get my pants back on.
You passed her shit test and confirmed your alpha status. The others will be convoluting themselves into weird acrobatic forms to avoid damage.
All I wanted to do was hold her hand, look into her eyes, brush her hair away from her cheek and make her feel loved.
Maybe it’s me, but I found that (along with making out) to be more interesting and desirable than actual sex when I was with my mistress. I knew she was having sex with other men, but I didn’t care since I had my personal time with her. Sex wasn’t bad, but masturbation delivers the same orgasm without the need to put in effort. Masturbation just doesn’t deliver that kind of emotional high.
FemiX:
1) Chicks who are willing to mutilate their precious body parts usually are screwed up in the head.
2) Aesthetic. I just don’t like the way these things look. I can’t explain it.
If you’re just hooking up, it doesn’t really matter, but for longer relationships…nuh uh.
Aesthetic. I just don’t like the way these things look. I can’t explain it.
A few days ago, Steve Sailor hinted that guido men tend to date guido women, and that the quasi-feminized grooming traits of the males pushed the females into even greater feminization with the fake nails, tan, etc. Thus, your high levels of masculinity may lead to a desire for plain girls.
Aesthetic. I just don’t like the way these things look. I can’t explain it.
A few days ago, Steve Sailor hinted that guido men tend to date guido women, and that the quasi-feminized grooming traits of the males pushed the females into even greater feminization with the fake nails, tan, etc. Thus, your high levels of plain, classic masculinity may lead to a desire for plain, classic feminine girls.
It still doesn’t explain my fetish though.
I’m also in the old school mindset that finds piercings and tattoos and the like to be very unattractive. Strikes me as trailer park trash, really. Same with over the top nails.
Can we nominate a comment for most omega comment of the year?
All I wanted to do was hold her hand, look into her eyes, brush her hair away from her cheek and make her feel loved.
Maybe it’s me, but I found that (along with making out) to be more interesting and desirable than actual sex when I was with my mistress. I knew she was having sex with other men, but I didn’t care since I had my personal time with her.
Are you sure that these people you are having sex with are women? This is something a gay man might write.
“Sex wasn’t bad, but masturbation delivers the same orgasm “
Ok. You’re a virgin, dude. Admit it. It’s not the same at all.
I can see David Alexander picking up a hooker on the roadside, taking her to dinner and talking her to death for 3 hours while looking deeply in her eyes before he asks her if it’s ok to kiss.
The onward march of tatoos and piercings continues unabated, and it seems we are powerless to stop it. The latest formerly freakish body mod to become mainstream is the nose stud. Girls in medical school have them now. Church girls have them. Somebody stop the world; I want to get off.
This was a very entertaining thread! Good read.
Strikes me as trailer park trash, really.
It may be skanky in some cases, but thanks to condoms, birth control, and abortion, you certainly don’t have to worry as much about breeding with it. Upper and middle class girls don’t look sexual.
Are you sure that these people you are having sex with are women?
FWIW, I haven’t had sex in four years…
This is something a gay man might write.
Except I’m straight.
Ok. You’re a virgin, dude. Admit it. It’s not the same at all.
I find sex to be a long exercise session that combines masturbation and another person. And I’ve had sex with and without a condom.
I can see David Alexander picking up a hooker on the roadside, taking her to dinner and talking her to death for 3 hours while looking deeply in her eyes before he asks her if it’s ok to kiss.
There’s a part of me that thinks that with a sexualized looking woman at my disposal, I could have sex with her, but I suspect that your scenario is more likely, and that presumes I’d even use a prostitute given the legal and philosophical issues along with the fear of being robbed by one and her pimp or accused of rape.
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Your enemy FeministX is sounding more masculine than a lot of the douche bags who wrote in on this post. As she said, ” Why do you guys give a shit?”
“If I was hooking up with some chick and her vagina was super shiny, i’d be like “yeah whatever. is it wet?”
Seriously, some of you dudes are sounding like a bunch of pussies. I don’t give a shit what a girl’s vagina looks like: full bush, shaved, landing strip, studded with diamonds, I don’t care. So long as she is hot and her pussy is wet I am good to go. I would fuck Jennifer Love Hewitt in a second. Is this the glorious MRA movement in action: a bunch of guys sounding like a bunch of bitchy old ladies? The whole thing often comes across as pretty gay to me. Go out and get laid and stop whining about how a shiny vagina is reflective of the end of Western Civilization.
Racer X:
Whose enemy? Certainly not mine. She’s too adorable to take seriously.
You don’t have aesthetic preferences when it comes to women? Nor do you realize how a woman adorns herself is reflective of her mental state? You are an odd one indeed.
As I said upthread, I don’t care about this when it comes to one-night stands and flings. But I’ll be damned if I enter a relationship with a chick who’s vajazzled. Besides, have you seen the sorts of women who get this thing done?
http://dissention.wordpress.com/2010/03/05/vajazzle/
I wouldn’t touch that unless I was beyond desperate.
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the only girls who undergo this procedure are either past their prime or they have ugly, shit-stained and smelly vaginas and want to hide the fact that every guy who’s gone down on them has lost his gag reflex.
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