What girl game isn't
I’ve written on the deficiencies of women’s dating advice before, but never have I ever come across something so flat-out retarded and deluded as this post at College Candy entitled “I Got Game. You Want Game?“:
I’m gonna make a bold statement right now:
I got some serious game.
Are you married or in a long-term relationship? Then no, you don’t have game.
I know that sounds incredibly cocky, but it’s actually quite the opposite. You see, until about two years ago I was the girl who sat on the sidelines and watched as all my friends flirted with and won over the very boys I wanted for myself. I was essentially the hook-up water boy, holding everyone’s cocktails when they went to the bathroom and checking to make sure no one had anything in their teeth. I accepted my role and went on with my life thinking I wasn’t pretty or skinny or perfect enough to be seen as anything more than the girl best friend.
If this broad was being ignored, there are three possible reasons:
1) She’s too hot, meaning guys, who are usually looking for a sure thing, stuck to hitting on her Plain Jane girlfriends.
2) She’s too ugly, possessing the sort of hideousness that would require a barrel of Keystone Light piss water to get a guy interested.
3) She was making herself too inaccessible in relation to her looks. Hint: playing hard to get doesn’t work unless you’re super fine, and even then its utility is questionable at best.
But then something happened. I had a one-night stand with a boy who everyone wanted and – like that – everything changed.
My god, you got a cock in your snatch for one whole night? I am so…unimpressed.
I started walking with a little swagger in my step, approaching anyone and everyone I wanted and suddenly I had developed my game winning moves.
A woman being proud of getting laid is like an alcoholic proud of getting drunk.
So, after luring in my own men and playing professional wingman to all of my friends (I advise them on making a move and they pay me back with vodka-on-the-rocks), someone who has benefited from my work countless times finally convinced me to share my secrets with the world. If you can master these few little tips, you can win over any guy, any time.
Unless your advice begins and ends with something along the lines of “walk up to him and force your tongue into his mouth,” it’s not going to help anyone.
[Now, just so you know, playing the game isn't just for ladies looking for some late night nookie. It's for those of you crushing on a guy and looking for something longer term, too.]
A college chick gets a horny dude to lay pipe to her for one night and she thinks she’s qualified to give relationship advice? Man, she’s got more chutzpah then Ellen Fein.
To begin with, I just want to say that no one is going to fall in love with you if you don’t show them there’s something to love. And I’m not talking about your nipples, honey. I’m talking about your confidence. If you sit back or do the wallflower thing, you will not lure in the hottie from Chem. But if you do whatever it is you do that makes you feel really good/hot/confident (for me it’s black eyeliner, straight hair and a great pair of jeans) and approach a guy with ease, he will be like putty in your hands.
What was that nine-letter word that describes women to a tee, as exemplified in the above paragraph…oh right, solipsism. Unlike you specimens of the female race, we men do not find confidence in and of itself attractive. We generally prefer you to be somewhat confident, if only because it means you’ll know well enough not to bother us when you shouldn’t – like when we’re hanging out with the guys, playing video games, or sequestered away in the Mancave writing the next great American novel – but it doesn’t give us erections, and it doesn’t make existing erections harder. When guys see you wearing “black eyeliner, straight hair and a great pair of jeans,” they’re not attracted to any confidence you might have, they’re attracted to your cute face, pert boobs, and rockin’ butt.
Yeah, you have to approach him. Or you could wait for him to notice you in your group of 12 friends, think of a way to bust open the circle you guys are standing in and come up with something to say to you. Seriously, just think of something witty and walk over there.
This only works if the guy is already attracted to you. Warpigs and other fuglies need not apply. For elaboration, here’s a post from 11minutes explaining a fundamental difference in how sexual attraction works for men and women:
As stage two put it – a woman posing a provocative question is not just sassy. It is a magic weapon. The man can be Brad Pitt in person – if he falters, reacts emotionally or even just in the socially accepted (expected) way to her test, she will lose attraction. The result is that women can turn any attractive member of the opposite sex into an unattractive person in an instant. It is like turning a hot 9 into an ugly fat chick with the snap of a finger.
For women, attraction is like a thermometer (think PUA terms like “buying temperature“). For men, attraction is like an on-off switch. Shoving yourself onto a guy will get you banged, but it won’t be because he respects your ballsiness, it’s because he’s a horny bugger and you’re offering yourself up as a sacrifice to his dick.
Ok, so you’re standing next to him. Now what do you say?
I have a few tried-and-true lines that get the conversation flowing every. single. time.- “Whatcha drinkin?” – Easiest line in the book. (Hm, maybe I should write a book!) He’ll tell you, he’ll ask you what you’re drinking, you’ll start some conversation about how the bar always waters down their drinks, soon your drinks will be empty and he’ll be buying you a new one. Boom.
- [Squeeze in next to him at the bar while you battle for drinks] “I think we should work together. How about you try and lure the girl bartender and I’ll use my cleavage to try and get the dude.” Not only are you being cute and openly flirty, but you got him to notice your sex appeal without really asking for it. Plus, teamwork always fosters flirtation and witty banter will follow. I promise you that.
- Bring up something relevant. So, if he’s standing against the wall at a party, say something cute like, “You know the party is more fun if you actually talk to people.” If he’s on the dance floor gettin’ his groove on, compliment his moves. If you run into him at the party store, comment on what he’s buying and ask him where the party’s at. Yes, it all seems cheesy, but these lines get the convo started without making you look dumb/desperate/cliche.
Here’s a better idea – just say you want him to fuck you. Since he’s already attracted to you and you’ve already done the hard work of approaching for him, what you say is utterly meaningless. Unless you seriously repulse him in some way (like mentioning how many STDs you have), you will be going home with him that night.
And that is that. All you need is a little self-love, a few witty lines (which, by the way, I use over and over again. The guys won’t know how many times you’ve tried them before!) and you’re good to go.
“The guys” don’t give a shit about your “pickup lines.” All they care about is whether your breasts are real and if you do anal.
Once you try these out a few times you’ll see how easy picking up a guy can be.
Of course it’s easy, you stupid twat – the normal order of things is that “males display and females choose.” What you’re proposing is that the lamb should knock on the lion’s front door, saving him the trouble of the chase.
Just don’t spit this game in any bar or party I frequent. That’s my territory, ladies.
Actually, ladies, you should “spit this game” everywhere you go. If all of you did this stuff, I and other dudes could get our nuts busted by just walking out the front door. Every man a player!
The sort of thinking on display in this article just amuses the mother-loving crap out of me. Here we have a young woman so utterly clueless about how the other half thinks that she believes that the mere act of getting a penis in her vagina is a great accomplishment. To paraphrase Tyler Durden, she tries to seduce men by being confident and aggressive, as if she was seducing a CHICK. Too bad she doesn’t know that men are fundamentally unchoosy and will stick their dicks in just about anything warm and wet, and that all she’s doing is making it easier for guys to get pussy. Which is cool with me, but bad for the girls who get suckered in by this nonsense.
No, honey, the ability to get a man to fuck you is not “game.” Getting said man to stick around and fall in love after fucking you is. For female readers interested in the latter, you know where to go.
Her perspective is flawed in areas but I do give her credit for recommending that women be approachable and friendly instead of hanging back and expecting the man to make the moves. Unapproachable princesses are hardly attractive no matter what they look like.
In a general way youre right, confidence is not turns men on, but I wouldnt say men are fundamentally unchoosy.
High quality men with options are EXTREMELY choosy. I keep on hearing this idea that men arent choosy but I dont see it.
Men are choosy in relation to their options and ability to attract women, and so are women. Thats just human nature.
It could be that female arousal depends on more factors than male arousal – i.e, not just looks are involved but also personality and status and other vague factors – so it seems that women need more blanks filled in before they find a man attractive, but that doesnt make them more choosy. So for instance youll see a girl reject a perfectly good looking why and not understand why unless you grasp what women want in men – not just looks – and then conclude girls are incredibly choosy.
In relation to what each sex finds attractive both are about equaly choosy – men find looks attractive primarily, and are choosy based on their options. Girls find looks/status/personality attractive, and are choosy based on their options for guys in these departments.
“What you’re proposing is that the lamb should knock on the lion’s front door, saving him the trouble of the chase.”…….
Men don’t like chase and mystery, remember?
Women like those things.
[Learn to read, dumbfuck. Having women behave like this is good for men...but bad for women.]
Dumb girl. She’s going to have a lot of problems in her life.
“say something cute like, “You know the party is more fun if you actually talk to people.” ……*sigh*
“Yeah. I hadn’t thought of that”. stated in deadpan monotone with no smirk nor hint of amusement. This would be my response to a girl no matter how hot or not.
nothing like a college age girl spouting the wisdom of picking up men…..when she’s 29 she’ll be that desperate edging towards cougar-dom still ragging dudes in her mini-van behind the bar whilst the kids are home with the babysitter….that lusty older chick assailing the new/young staffers at the Xmas party. ugh. spare me. i think for a lot of girls that bitterness sets in after college b/c the well dries up for many of them. i’ve watched friends of my LTR go out weekend after weekend….and fail at picking up guys. i’m talking CONSISTENTLY fail….give it a few years and see how harpy they act. jesus. it’s scary as i think about it.
Confidence in a woman is important for non-sexual reasons:
1) It says “I’m not clingy.”
2) In a long term relationship it says “I won’t marry the first douchebag who shows interest in me if I lose you and we have kids.”
Displaying a subtle lack of confidence would actually be better for women wanting to hook up because it’ll make their male target think that getting them in bed will be a snap.
The more women like this, the better for men.
It lowers the buying temperature for all women, making it easier for all men everywhere and upends the market place.
Go Grrls!
Love ya, Ferdinand, by seriously: we need to find you more worthy adversaries. This article was like making fun of the retarded boy. It was unsporting.
I lol’d.
Funny shit.
Greg:
High quality men (aka alphas) are by definition a small minority. Most men are not high quality.
Uh dude, that’s the very definition of choosy. Womens’ criteria for mate evaluation is much more complex then men’s, more buttons need to be pressed, hence women are choosier.
You have to consider the ability of each sex to act on their desires. Most guys don’t have the game necessary to bag the super hotties or even the plain old hotties, so they end up settling. Women, on the other hand, can act at the very least as a second- or third-stringer for an alpha male.
Φ:
I’ve got a half-dozen ideas like that in rotation, but there are only so many hours in a day I’m willing to devote to this thing.
And it may not be sporting to mock the retarded boy, but what do you do when he takes a crap on the living room floor?
A woman being proud of getting laid is like an alcoholic proud of getting drunk.
****
I’m going to slap that one on some girls in the future. $.
There was a quote, either here or @ seasons, that said the same, but was a lil’ too wordy to be easily delivered.
If a girl approaches you and she quickly makes a reference to sex, a guy can’t help but think, “wow, this girl is so DTF, definitely gonna fuck her, what a slut.”
reminds me, one time a girl *told* me we were going to hook up, and I had been hardly sexual with her.
Couldn’t help thinking she was a slut after that, and didn’t deliver because she had an ugly face. She was black fwiw.
Here is a photo of her – http://collegecandy.com/author/ccandylaurenherskovic/
So unless that’s a really bad photo, she needs this kinda schtick.
Women really ARE deluded about basic attraction aren’t they?
Merci, monsieur Bardamu. J’aime quand tu dit aussi.
Well put.
The thing is… I’m just not sure whether to laugh in advance at this woman’s own future misfortune or to cry over the concern that she might actually resemble a sizeable percentage of her peers. If the latter, a key ingredient upholding the familial and social structure is now circling inside the toilet bowl.
She’s at the University of Michigan? I’ll bet Dad’s proud of writing THAT tuition check. He should sue them for failure to perform.
It’s worse than you think. Take a look at her other articles. What do you expect from someone who writes articles with titles such as, “Beer Bong in Your Butt (For Serious)”.
Her dad should sue them for even accepting her to the U. of Michigan.
On a related note, another recent spectacular display of female delusions in the media:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8345118.stm
After the recent widely publicized episode when she got beaten up by her thug boyfriend, this young lady informs us that “it could happen to anybody.” She also adds, “This happened to me. I didn’t cause this.”
Yeah, sure, it just happens randomly to people, like bad weather or a flat tire. Nothing at all to do with her choice of boyfriend. Anyone who suggests that some old-fashioned common-sense wisdom would have saved her from getting involved with a punk like this in the first place should be skewered for “blaming the victim” and denying that patriarchal violence is an inherent pathology of all men, period.
Anyone who suggests that some old-fashioned common-sense wisdom would have saved her from getting involved with a punk like this in the first place should be skewered for “blaming the victim” and denying that patriarchal violence is an inherent pathology of all men, period.
Ferdinand I have a suggestion. Think it over first though.
I really reckon there needs to be something like an Idiot woman of the month, sort of like a Beta of the Month. It might be worth a try.
On second thoughts, I suggest youcall it the Black eye of the Month Award.
God, what a delusional moron Rihanna is. Take a listen to this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3dPMZvxe4U
[...] of the Month Award Posted on November 9, 2009 by Ferdinand Bardamu Last week, Slumlord suggested that I launch a contest similar to Roissy’s Beta of the Month Award, only featuring dumb [...]
[...] and the need for balance between affection and discretion. This is superior to women who promote using sex alone as a way to land men, or using the dated, boner-killing “rules” promulgated by used up divorced harpies that [...]
[...] is on the woman’s terms. Owning your sluttiness doesn’t make you less of a slut – it makes you more of a moron. And despite not knowing what creep may lurk behind a profile picture, Louise reckons her cyber [...]
I found this bizarre: You see, until about two years ago I was the girl who sat on the sidelines and watched as all my friends flirted with and won over the very boys I wanted for myself.
That just blows my mind. With all of the quality available men out there, she preferred to “sit on the sidelines” and pine away for alphas for years? My prediction: she will die alone with cats.
I used to be sympathetic when women complained that there are “no quality men” out there, but whenever I point out that there are those men available, they inform me, “Oh, I didn’t mean one of those men!” My sympathies are beginning to wear thin.
[...] Social standing and pussy price control - Women who can ensnare men into long-term relationships gain prestige among other women, like how men who bang a lot of women are admired by other men. A girl who gets played by a known stud both signifies that she is low-value and lowers the price that other women can demand from men in exchange for sex, opening her up to attack from her peers. (As an aside, the latter reason is why it is women, and not men, who are the primary proponents of slut-shaming. Men don’t hate sluts – we wouldn’t marry ‘em, but we love having ‘em around for easy sex.) [...]
[...] solipsism of the female mind has reared its ugly head again. Women like men who are confident, so they assume that men like women who are confident. FAIL! Men are attracted to cute faces, large, firm boobs, taut, curvy asses, and girly [...]